As the Moon Rises
by j-jip
Summary: Moonrise was only minutes away and Remus was without his final dose of Wolfsbane for the week. In short: Hermione was doomed.
1. Fatal Flaw

**Author's Note:** This story is split into two parts: before Graduation and after Graduation. The first part takes place at Hogwarts (obviously), and the second part takes place at another secret location, which will be revealed at the beginning of part two.

Also: this story is very AU, having diverged from canon somewhere after GoF. It takes place in the trio's seventh year of Hogwarts, without much regard to anything that took place after their fourth year. As stated above: it's very AU.

**Warning:** This chapter contains somewhat graphic depictions of violence/gore. It's nothing too terrible, but if you're sensitive to violence/gore please be careful.

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><p><strong>PART ONE<strong>

Hogwarts

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><p><strong>I<strong>

Fatal Flaw

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><p>It took him four seconds to realize that he was not in his bed, and another four after that to realize that he was staring up at a forest of darkened treetops. Even in his sluggish and groggy state, Remus John Lupin was quickly able to recognize that he was in fact in the Forbidden Forest, and that he <em>definitely<em> wasn't supposed to be there.

Remus shifted awkwardly on the cold ground, his blurred vision and a sudden spasm of nausea making the movement exceedingly difficult. He always got nauseous just before the full moon.

_The full moon. _

_Fuck._

A whole different kind of anxiety set in. The Hogwarts professor blinked several times in an effort to focus his failing eyes. All he could see was the blackened canopy of trees above.

The last thing he could remember was making his way down to Severus' office to get his final dose of Wolfsbane for this week. For some reason he had no memory of arriving in Severus' office or getting his potion.

As if on cue, the faraway memory of a spell hitting him from behind fluttered into his mind. He'd been _stunned_. Adrenaline happened to kick in just then. Remus bolted upright, his eyes focusing and scanning his surroundings. There were plenty of trees; the kind of trees you only see when you're _very_ deep in the Forbidden Forest. This was bad.

"_Remus_!"

The screeching yell caught him off guard. He turned sharply, barely repressing the groan of protest at the state of his tired joints, aching with anticipation of the impending transformation. _Moonrise must be very close,_ he thought, a nervous weight settling in his stomach.

"_Remus_," The voice spoke again, and it was only now that he recognized the owner. Hermione Granger was most distinguishable by her wildly curly hair and the Head Girl badge pinned onto the front of her school robes. If he hadn't been able to recognize her for her hair or the badge, her school robes and the fact that she'd called him "Remus" would have easily given her away. Only a few current Hogwarts students called him by his first name, and of them she was the only female.

"Remus, you have to run! Get away before-"

She was cut off by a hand yanking roughly at her hair while a wand dug into the skin at her throat. Behind her stood the looming form of none other than Lucius Malfoy. The fading sunlight shone against his platinum hair, so much like that of his son. The initial shock at seeing Malfoy in the middle of the forest faded away at the sight of the man's nearly sadistic expression.

Remus leapt from the ground. "What's going on?" he demanded, patting at the pockets of his robes for his wand. It was no use; his wand was gone.

"Run!" Hermione started yelling again, and this time he could pinpoint the terrified tremble in her voice. "You need to run!"

The man behind her silenced her once more, his hand twisting in her hair. Remus started to advance on the pair of them, already prepared to engage Malfoy in a physical fight if he needed to.

"Stop!" Lucius commanded, his voice deadly. "I'll kill her." He twisted the wrist of his wand hand, as if preparing to rattle off a Killing Curse. Remus halted. His eyes met Hermione's a split second later. She looked uncharacteristically frightened, but the rigid set of her jaw and shoulders showed determination. She knew what was going to happen and she knew that they had to get out of here.

"Alright!" Remus shouted, throwing his hands up into the air and stepping back. "What do you want and why have you brought her into this?" His eyes flicked between Hermione and Malfoy as he spoke.

"You've grown old and slow, Lupin," the man spat, eyeing Remus' shabby robes with disdain. "Can't you see why you are here? The moon rises in only a few moments…"

A shiver raced down Remus' spine. Hermione began to struggle in Malfoy's grip. "Fine, I'll explain because you seem to be in quite a slow condition. You see, the Dark Lord wants Potter's friends to be taken care of." Malfoy sneered down at Hermione, "As I've been assigned with this task, I've decided that the Mudblood ought to be the first to go. It was just my luck that she was rather easy for me to get my hands on."

Hermione began to struggle again. Remus couldn't quite make out the expression on her face anymore – the sun was too low in the sky – but he knew that she was afraid and angry. It wouldn't be long now before moonrise…

"And why am I here then?" Remus demanded sharply. His temper was always short before the full moon. The present situation only added to his irritability.

"Patience," Malfoy chided, "I'm getting there." With another pause, he glanced at the shadowy forest around them. His eyes trained back on Remus, "the Dark Lord _graciously_ rewards his followers when they are clever and efficient about how they accomplish their tasks. True to my nature, I've come up with quite a clever way to finish off the girl, and with your involvement there are also a couple added bonuses that I think I will be rewarded for _handsomely_." He spoke with the same blind arrogance that he'd possessed in his youth. Lucius had been several years ahead of Remus at Hogwarts, but they had definitely had their fair share of encounters in their youth.

Remus paled. He knew where this was going, and he now understood why Hermione had been so vehement about telling him to run away.

"You think I'm going to kill her," he stated flatly, gauging both Lucius and Hermione for a reaction.

"I _know_ you're going to kill her." Malfoy's expression turned from one of arrogant passivity to one of cruel delight. "And after you kill her you'll be shipped off to Azkaban straight away. Surely once the news hits the public all remaining Werewolves will be locked away like they should be." His bilious sneer was equal parts proud and reverent. "I can just imagine poor Potter's face when he sees the remains of his dear little Mudblood," he huffed out a curt laugh, "murdered by his dearest Professor." Lucius was getting too much enjoyment out of this.

Watching the Death Eater before him speak with the utmost confidence, it suddenly struck Remus how dreadful this situation was. They were deep in the recesses of the Forbidden Forest. Moonrise was only minutes away and Remus was without his final dose of Wolfsbane for the week. In short: Hermione was doomed.

"It won't work!" He shouted, stepping backwards in a feeble attempt to put distance between himself and Hermione. She was visibly trembling. "I'll kill myself first!" He shouted again, frantic and deranged. He studied their surroundings, desperately searching for something that could incapacitate himself.

"No!" Hermione shouted. Lucius was laughing but neither of them paid him any mind. "Remus you can't!" She nearly sobbed.

He suddenly became very angry with her. She was naïve for thinking that she had any chance at all if he remained alive. Once he transformed she was done for. The wolf would rip her throat out in a matter of seconds. He turned to her, tamping down his rage and trying to get his brain to work properly. "I am _not_ going to kill you, Hermione," he murmured dangerously.

Lucius' accompanying laugh drowned out her fearful gasp. Remus took several more steps backwards, searching among the trees for something of use.

"It's too late, Lupin," Malfoy drawled, looking up at the sky. He was right. Remus could feel the moon as if it were an extension of himself. The telltale signs of a nearing transformation were already here: skin crawling, muscle spasms, aching jaw.

Abruptly, Lucius shoved Hermione away from him, causing her to stumble in Remus' direction. "Don't scream too loudly," he whispered. In the next second the Death Eater turned on the spot, Disapparating with a resounding crack.

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><p>The clearing was silent for a split second before Remus started shouting at her. "Run!" he growled, "Hermione you need to get away!" His voice cracked with the tension and Hermione knew that the transformation was starting. Not needing to be told twice, she willed her clumsy legs to move and took off at a sprint through the canopy of trees.<p>

Hermione focused her gaze on the ground in front of her, trying to avoid any tree roots as she ran in a direction that was either further into the forest or not; she had no way of knowing. Her only intelligible thought was a desperate hope that this was all some terrible nightmare.

Remus' first scream of pain reverberated through the woods eerily. The following screams seemed to follow her as she fled through the trees, evolving into something more and more beastly with each passing second.

Suddenly the screams of agony were replaced by one long, guttural howl. Hermione could feel the cold sweat breaking out over her skin. There was no way she could outrun a werewolf; it was simply impossible. If only she had her wand… but no, Malfoy had taken that from her and snapped it somewhere along the way into the woods. She had to figure out another way out of this.

The young witch ran for a long time, some inherent sense telling her that he would catch her within seconds if she stopped.

_He'll catch you even if you don't stop_, a traitorous voice whispered in the back of her mind.

With an abrupt thumping sound, a tree root caught her toe. Hermione slammed into the ground, her hands and knees only marginally breaking the fall. A sharp pain travelled up her wrist with the impact. She could hear noises behind her, and when she turned she saw that there was indeed a menacingly large wolf bolting towards her.

Panic overrode all other senses, and Hermione despairingly searched her surroundings for anything that would help. There was a rather sizeable fallen tree branch to her left, but it was too far away. Remus— no, the _wolf_ had stopped his jogging pace. He was now stalking towards her languidly, amber eyes focused on her shaking form. An idea floated into her mind at that moment; it was a spell she'd been practicing wandlessly for a while, the only wandless magic that she felt confident in doing. Maybe it would scare him off…

Hermione decided to try it. She lifted her hand, her palm facing upwards, the incantation leaving her lips. In her mind, she concentrated, imagining fire erupting from her palm, illuminating the forest.

It worked.

She gasped as wild blue flames sprouted up, dancing on her palm. The wolf backed away cautiously, affronted by the sudden burst of fire. She could feel his eyes on her, but she simply focused on keeping the flames alive.

It was no use. The fire died out not a moment later. Perhaps it was the adrenaline that allowed Hermione to sense what was going to happen next, for she knew beyond a doubt that he was going to attack. She flung herself to the right in a vain effort to grab the tree branch she'd spotted earlier. That was when the wolf decided to lunge. He was a blur of dark fur and feral amber eyes coming towards her. His claws dug into the shoulder of the arm that had reached for the tree branch with a burst of excruciating pain.

"HELP!" she screamed, hopelessly trying to use the branch to hit him or get him off of her somehow, "SOMEONE HELP ME!" She could feel the beast's claws tearing through the flesh of her back and shoulder and it burned and stung and she thought for a moment that she was about to die.

In her struggle against the wolf, Hermione's foot somehow found purchase against a protruding tree root. She used it to push herself away from him, simultaneously kicking at him with her other foot.

A growl tore from his throat, and she knew that she had angered him. Her stomach dropped. She pushed herself away from him once more, but it was too late. His next moved seemed to happen in slow motion. She watched with anguished terror as he opened his jaw and dug his teeth into the flesh of her lower calf.

Hermione let out a shriek of pain. The tearing of his teeth hurt terribly, but the strange and immediate burning sensation was ten times worse. It felt as though his teeth were on fire, sending waves of flames licking up at her leg and scorching their way through her body.

It was not much more than a few seconds later when the adrenaline must have kicked in, because Hermione somehow found it in her not to faint and instead to grasp the large tree branch tightly and swing it at the wolf.

The branch met his skull with a loud thump. Immediately, he released her leg, letting out a sharp whimper and stumbling backwards, disoriented.

Hermione gasped in agony, not daring to let her eyes leave the beast, no matter how much she wanted to glance at the wound on her leg. Her blood felt like it was on fire, and she had to actively remind herself that it wasn't possible.

Remus – no, the wolf – made eye contact with her and she was sure that he would kill her now… but he didn't. She held his gaze with a bravery that she didn't know she had in her and he just stood there, staring her down, shoulders hunched and jaw dripping with her blood. It was several long moments before Hermione realized that maybe he wasn't going to attack her again. Maybe she'd scared him off.

She didn't take her eyes off his, afraid that he would kill her the moment she did. Instead she just sat on the ground, holding tightly onto her tree branch, ready for him to come at her.

Surprisingly, the pain was becoming more bearable. Judging from the blood that was trickling down her arm and shoulder he had scratched her pretty badly there. On top of that, of course, was the throbbing and burning of her lower leg, where he had bitten her. She didn't want to think about what that bite meant, so she pushed it all out of her mind for now.

She had a long time until sunrise, but she would wait. She would wait as long as it took to save her life and – in a way – his own.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Reviews, questions, and comments are greatly appreciated and welcomed. Chapter two should be posted soon.


	2. What a Mess We've Made

**II**

What a Mess We've Made

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><p>Pain. That was what Remus felt. He could barely make out the shapes and shadows around him. He couldn't focus on anything while his skin was being ripped apart and his bones were being shattered and reformed. He let out a scream as the last wave of the transformation hit him, and then collapsed on the ground.<p>

Several seconds later, Remus managed more than partial consciousness. He opened his eyes and looked around the forest, ignoring his pounding headache. The memories of what happened with Malfoy and Hermione came back, but there was a big black hole in his mind where the transformation and the subsequent night should have been. He shifted his jaw, noting the distinct tang of blood in his mouth that definitely wasn't his own.

This was bad. This was so fucking bad that Remus wanted to scream and cry and _kill_ Malfoy. He held his breath while he searched the nearby forest, expecting the worst.

Then he saw her. Hermione was there, sitting up against a tree trunk several meters away. Despite the blood smeared across her forehead and the ashen paleness of her skin he could see the rise and fall of her chest. She was alive. _How the hell had she survived?_

"Hermione," he groaned, trying to sit up more. Every muscle and joint in his body protested, but he didn't care.

She wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were trained on the ground in front of her. Remus realized that he wasn't wearing any clothes. "Oh," he muttered.

"Here," she said hoarsely, still not looking at him. She extended her hand, which held her cloak. She must have taken it off sometime in the night, knowing that Remus would need it. He gingerly stepped forward and took the heavy cloak from her, wrapping it around his waist. She was wearing a jumper and skirt under. It was now that he noticed that her clothes were tattered and stained with a sizeable amount of blood.

Remus' mouth went dry. "Did I…" he began, not knowing how to phrase the question or get the words out of his mouth. His head was pounding and the exhaustion of the transformation weighed heavy on his limbs. But now was not the time to rest.

She met his gaze, and he could see the dark circles that hung under her eyes. She must have not slept at all. With slow movements, she nodded, her gaze falling down to her leg. Remus clenched his jaw. There it was, a bite mark amidst the blood and dirt.

He'd ruined her.

He dropped to his knees beside her, allowing his head to fall into his hands. Somehow, he didn't imagine this would happen. He thought she would die. This was so different, so much _worse_. He had infected her with the bane of his existence. She was a werewolf now. There was no way she could ever live a normal life. This poor girl, who had such a great future ahead of her... she was ruined, and it was all thanks to him. "I'm sorry, Hermione," He whispered, devastated, "I- I'm so, _so_ sorry." He felt like he was watching this scene from above, looking down on the pair of them on the forest floor. It took him several seconds to realize that he was probably in shock.

"Don't apologize," Hermione said sternly, "we need to get out of here." Her bravery took him by surprise, but then again, it always had. "I expect that someone will be looking for us, but we can't very well be found in the middle of the Forbidden Forest that easily."

Remus searched for words, still unable to move past the catastrophic thing he'd done. _God,_ he wished he could've died. He wished that he could have thrown himself off a cliff before he had the chance to touch her.

Before Remus had a chance to say anything else, a rustling from behind called his attention. Someone was coming. He stood and moved slightly in front of Hermione, not knowing whether he wanted to protect her or shield the injuries he'd inflicted from view.

"Lupin?" a deep and wary voice called through the trees. Surprisingly enough, Severus Snape stepped into view, his wand brandished and his expression imperceptible.

Remus didn't know if he was relieved or distraught to see the dour Potions Master. Despite their rocky past, Remus and Severus were now on better terms since Remus had returned to his previous position as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Severus still disliked Remus, but he knew all about his Lycanthropy and Remus believed that the Potions Professor could be trusted.

"What's happened?" Severus asked briskly, glancing past Remus' half naked form to Hermione, bloody and shivering on the ground. Remus realized that it must have been an eerie sight to walk in on, but Severus appeared to take it all in stride. In only a second, the Professor flicked his wand and repaired Remus' robes, which had been torn to shreds and skewed across the ground. Then, he strode towards Hermione, looking her over, obviously noticing the bite mark just above her ankle. His expression betrayed nothing.

"It was Lucius Malfoy," Hermione rasped, "he brought us here and took our wands."

Remus could feel Hermione's eyes on him despite the fact that he was looking at the ground. "I-" he began, choking out the words and trying not to lose his control, "I don't know how this happened."

"Remus didn't get his Wolfsbane," Hermione murmured softly, her voice pained.

When Remus glanced up from the ground he saw that Severus had finished cleaning the wound near Hermione's ankle. The bite mark was angry and red, standing out against her pale skin. "I'm aware," Severus said dully, moving over to Hermione's side to heal her shoulder.

"Did you speak to Malfoy?" Remus asked, barely managing to not sound accusatory. Severus flicked his wand and a potion bottle appeared. Remus took it, knowing that it was the usual post-full moon brew that Severus produced, some sort of variation on the Pepper Up Potion. It improved his condition immensely, but he was still exhausted and sore and wholly devastated.

Severus shook his head. "I knew that something was wrong when you didn't retrieve your potion. Albus used the tracking spell to find your location. He had me wait until sunrise to retrieve you." The professor gave Hermione one last glance of appraisal. His expression was hard to decipher as always, but Remus could see the conflict in his eyes. "I hadn't expected this," he added softly, standing and taking his eyes from Hermione.

"We should get back to the school," Hermione said anxiously. "What if he comes back?"

"Lucius would never return here. He will be confident that his plan has succeeded." Remus knew that Severus didn't need to ask what the plan was. Surely he could infer. "Poppy will be waiting in the Hospital Wing," Severus murmured, holding out an arm to both Hermione and Remus. It took Hermione a moment to realize that they were going to Apparate. She hesitated, her face falling.

"What is it?" Severus snapped impatiently.

She winced, and Remus could feel her trying to resist looking at him. "I don't want anyone to see us." Her words came out softly and shamefully.

Remus felt another rush of guilt. _Of course_ _she was ashamed_! Who wouldn't be? She didn't want anyone to know that she had been afflicted with Lycanthropy. Remus completely understood.

"I don't want people to know," Hermione continued needlessly, "Especially that Remus did it. They can't know. He'll get into trouble."

Remus wanted to tell her that he would get into trouble regardless, but he didn't. "Nobody will see us at this time in the morning, and you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to." Despite the protest in his muscles, he extended a hand to help her off of the ground. She took his hand weakly, wincing as she stood up. Remus' grim expression worsened.

It was doubtful that they could keep this a secret; surely Poppy and Albus had to be informed, and the news would probably get out anyway. Plus, they had to do something about Lucius. Remus felt another wave of dread rise up within him. Merlin, how he wished that he could have died and spared her. She was his _student_, too. That may have been the worst part.

"Alright," said Hermione. She shifted her weight off of her injured leg and reached for Severus' arm. Remus did the same, soon feeling the unpleasant pull of Apparation.

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><p>The school was empty. Saturday mornings usually came about like this: sunrise creeping over a slumbering castle. This Hermione was thankful for.<p>

Professor Snape, Remus, and Hermione slowly made their way towards the Hospital Wing. Upon arrival, they found both Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey already there, speaking quietly. Hermione figured that Dumbledore must have known something was amiss when he discovered Remus' location to be deep in the Forbidden Forest. However, she could bet on the fact that he didn't ever expect Hermione to be tangled up in all of this. Sure enough, his expression was one of shock.

"Perhaps we should have a word, Remus," Dumbledore uttered after a long moment. It was odd for Hermione to see the Headmaster so taken aback. He was typically surprised by nothing. Madam Pomfrey, too, was stunned silent, but she quickly sprang into action after Dumbledore spoke. The Matron stepped forward and gently took Hermione's arm, leading her over to a bed in the curtained off corner of the Hospital Wing.

"Of course," Remus replied to Dumbledore hoarsely. Hermione glanced in his direction and felt a stab of pity. The bags under his eyes were accentuated by his grim expression and overall paleness. He looked like a man condemned to death. Almost more than anything else, Hermione hated how hard all of this would be on Remus.

"Poppy, may I borrow your office for a moment?" Dumbledore looked to the Matron. He had mastered himself, and now spoke with the normally cheery and light tone. Hermione preferred shocked silence to that lighthearted façade.

Pomfrey nodded her assent, focused on getting Hermione into a bed and looking at the bite mark on her lower leg. Hermione watched as Dumbledore and Remus moved toward Madam Pomfrey's adjoined office, Dumbledore beckoning Professor Snape in as well.

"Will it heal?" Hermione asked after a moment, eyes trained on the still bleeding wound. She felt entrenched in a pit of numbness. It was obvious that she was in shock. She'd been in shock for hours.

Pomfrey shook her head. "Werewolf bites tend not to." She spoke with a sort of professionalism, but the sadness and pity still crept into her voice. Hermione sighed deeply.

"Take this," the woman spoke again, a potion vial now appearing in her hand. Hermione examined the label. It was written in Snape's spindly scrawl. _Sleeping Draught_, it said.

"You need to rest, Miss Granger," Pomfrey explained.

Hermione nodded absently, rubbing her thumb over a fraying corner of the label. "My friends will wonder where I am," she murmured.

"I'm sure the Headmaster will find a suitable excuse for your being in the hospital wing." Madam Pomfrey stood up, making sure that the curtains were fully pulled around Hermione's bed.

Hermione downed the Sleeping Draught and let her head fall onto the pillow. Pomfrey left then, and the young witch was suddenly alone with her thoughts. She hadn't really considered it much earlier, but now it really hit her: She was a werewolf.

_A werewolf_.

The word stuck in her mind, floating around and shrouding her thoughts.

At this point, Hermione was sure of one thing: everything had changed. Her whole life would be different now. There was no going back after last night, but at least she could keep it a secret if nothing else. Harry and Ron didn't have to know. She could hide it from them and spare them the worry. Even if her life was spiraling out of control, she could control one thing: that it would remain a secret.

She fell asleep crying silently into her pillow.

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><p>Harry sat next to Ron and Ginny in the great hall, picking at his toast and looking around curiously. Hermione hadn't joined them yet. It was making Harry uneasy. He hadn't seen her since her row with Ron the previous night, and she was normally up for breakfast much sooner than this. He looked around the great hall and up to the staff table. That was odd, too. He searched the table and noticed that both Lupin and Dumbledore were missing from their usual spots.<p>

"Where do you suppose Hermione is?" Harry asked Ron, who sat to his left.

Ron wasn't paying attention; his eyes were fixed on a group of girls entering the Great Hall, giggling as they walked. Harry recognized Lavender Brown as one of them. When she spotted Ron, she separated from the girls and came running. "_Won-won!"_ She squealed, almost tackling him with a hug.

Harry turned away from the couple before he could get an eyeful of snogging. He honestly didn't understand why Ron had gotten back together with Lavender. She was just so dreadfully annoying.

"So irritating," Ginny mumbled, as if reading Harry's mind, "We're never like that, are we?"

Harry smiled wryly, "I doubt it."

Ginny grinned in response and reached over to grab his hand, "what were you saying about Hermione?"

"I was just wondering where she was, I haven't seen her since last night and she's usually up by now. You haven't seen her, have you?"

Ginny thought it over, "now that I think about it, I didn't see her at all last night. Wasn't she going to stop by the Common Room?"

"She said she was going to the library," Harry recalled. "Maybe she just stayed up too late and now she's sleeping in."

Ginny nodded.

The pair finished eating breakfast and decided to abandon Ron and Lavender. They exited the Great Hall just in time to see Professor Dumbledore coming their way.

"Hello, Professor Dumbledore," Harry greeted the Headmaster.

"Hello, Mr. Potter, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore smiled, "I was actually just coming to find you two. I wanted to inform you that Miss. Granger is currently in the hospital wing."

"What?" Harry asked, alarmed, "Why?" He shared a concerned look with Ginny.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about," Dumbledore waved his hand dismissively, "she's just sleeping off a cold, she came to the infirmary last evening and Madam Pomfrey had her stay the night. She will surely be fine later today."

"Oh...okay, I guess we'll go visit her," Harry said, looking to Ginny, who nodded strangely.

"Very well," Dumbledore said and continued off down the hallway.

"That was odd," Ginny observed.

"Very," Harry agreed, continuing down the hallway, "Why would Dumbledore come to tell us that? It's not like him to be concerned over little illnesses like that."

Ginny shrugged, "maybe he just happened to stop by the Hospital Wing and wanted to let us know that she was there."

Harry accepted that answer, deciding that it was the most reasonable explanation. When they finally arrived at the Hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey was rushing around, tending to a pair of fourth years who had gotten into a fight. She was healing the smaller boy's black eye when Harry and Ginny walked in.

"May I help you?" She looked to the couple standing in the doorway.

"We're looking for Hermione Granger," Ginny explained.

Poppy nodded and pointed to a bed in the back with curtains around it. Harry and Ginny walked over to the bed and got a better look. Hermione was there, covered up by the sheets as she dozed away. There was exhaustion evident even though her eyes were closed. Other than her slightly pale complexion, she looked normal.

Harry turned to Ginny, "There's not much we can do until she wakes up."

Ginny nodded, "Maybe we should find Ron, tell him what happened."

"Sure. As long as he's not snogging Lavender," Harry mumbled.

And with that, Harry and Ginny exited the Hospital Wing, leaving the sleeping girl to her dreams.

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><p>Hermione woke late in the afternoon, only an hour or so left until dinner would be served in the Great Hall. She was rather surprised that she'd managed to sleep so long, but it made sense considering that she'd been up all night. Soon, Madam Pomfrey found her awake and informed her that Professor Dumbledore wanted to speak with her right away. It wasn't long after that when Dumbledore's footsteps sounded through the hospital wing, accompanied by another pair as they made their way towards Hermione's corner.<p>

The curtains around her bed were pulled aside, first showing the face of Dumbledore, and then a pale, tired looking Remus. A very strange sensation swept over Hermione at the sight of Remus. She hadn't realized it before, but an odd calmness had been easing itself over her for the past several seconds as Remus and Dumbledore approached. Remus took a deep breath, and Hermione inherently knew that he felt it too.

"Ah, Miss Granger," Dumbledore greeted her with a pleased smile, "how are you feeling?"

"Better than I was this morning, sir." She smiled politely, finding it easier to maintain her composure than she'd imagined. She tried to pinpoint where this peculiar sense of tranquility was coming from, but it didn't seem to have a beginning or an end. It was just there.

"I am glad to hear it," said the Headmaster, pulling up a pair of chairs for himself and Remus.

"Hello Hermione," Remus nodded towards her. His voice betrayed the calm expression he wore. She could hear his frayed composure through the gruffness of his tone.

"Professor," she gave him a small nod. He didn't smile like he usually did when she addressed him so formally. She always called him "professor" in the presence of other teachers or classmates. Harry and Ron, on the other hand, had gotten to the point where they nearly always called him Remus, sometimes even slipping up in class.

"Now," Dumbledore began with a great sigh, "I think we have much to discuss, the three of us." With a flick of his wrist Hermione knew that he had put up some sort of privacy ward. This conversation was going to remain within the confines of Hermione's small, closed off portion of the Hospital Wing.

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore looked at her, "I believe that both Remus and I would very much like to hear your side of the story. So tell us, how exactly did you survive last night?"


	3. Despondence

**III**

Despondence

**Author's Note**: I want to remind you all that this is AU and that a lot of aspects of canon have changed. For instance, certain people who died in canon are not dead here.

* * *

><p>Dumbledore and Remus were both watching her with a wary sort of intrigue. Hermione sat up straighter in bed, took a deep breath, and began to relay her tale. As calmly as possible, she told them about her evening trek to the library, and how it was suddenly interrupted by a powerful hex. The next thing she knew, Lucius Malfoy was dragging her into the Forbidden Forest, levitating Remus' unconscious form in front of them. From there, she described in painful detail the whole course of the night, not daring to look at Remus to see his pain.<p>

Dumbledore retained a thoughtful expression throughout the explanation. Finally, once she had finished, he simply uttered a pensive, "How interesting."

"_Interesting_?" Hermione quipped, perhaps with a little more irritation than she had intended. It's just that it wasn't really interesting to her. It was horrible.

The Headmaster nodded. "Yes, Miss Granger. I find it very intriguing that the night went the way it did. From what I understand of Werewolves, they don't often get warded off by a few blows to the head with a tree branch."

"Sorry about that, by the way," said Hermione. Her eyes found Remus' and he just shook his head as if it was outrageous for her to apologize. She figured that he was right; she _had_ been defending herself.

"Remus," Dumbledore turned, "what do you think about this?"

He sighed deeply. "The Wolfsbane potion – as I'm sure you know, Hermione – must be taken once each day for seven days leading up to the full moon. It is well known that any missing potion renders all the others useless, but I think that some aspects of the six potions I took this past week may have still had some effect on me."

Hermione watched him closely. It was obvious that he'd thought about this a lot. His inner academic was coming out in the way he spoke and moved his hands, like a lecture he was giving to his students. Hermione was glad to see this change in him; she'd hated his quiet and sorrowful resignation only moments before.

"Now," he continued, leaning forward in his chair, "I can't remember anything from last night, so we know that the potion couldn't have worked in that manner of retaining the mental facilities. Also: I did attack Hermione," a tortured look crossed his face, "so my mind wasn't intact enough to know not to do that. However, I have a strange inkling that maybe those six other doses of the Wolfsbane did take enough of an effect that I knew to back away after you hit me, Hermione."

"Yes," Dumbledore mused, "I do see the logic there, Remus. It appears that Hermione's efforts to fight back were indeed beneficial in the end."

Hermione didn't say anything, simply watching as Remus' confident demeanor left him. As if the floodgates had been opened, the reality of the situation came storming in. His shoulders drooped, and when his eyes fell on Hermione they were shameful and apologetic.

"Onto other matters," the Headmaster continued, focusing on the young witch in bed, "Miss Granger, I have not contacted your parents yet because I was unsure of whether you wanted them to be notified. Besides, you are of age and therefore I am not required to notify your family of anything that happens here. From what Remus and Severus told me, it seems that you would like this situation to remain quiet."

Hermione nodded. "I don't want my parents to know… at least not until the situation is under control. They wouldn't understand and it would just worry them." It was true; her parents wouldn't be able to look past the werewolf aspect without thinking of fairy tales and horror stories and how they depicted lycanthropy. Plus, if they heard about Lucius Malfoy and his plans for Harry's friends then her parents would certainly demand Hermione to be withdrawn from Hogwarts. She simply couldn't do that.

"A wise choice, I should think," Dumbledore surmised. To his left, Remus stared pensively at the ground. Guilt showed itself in the lines of his forehead. Hermione desperately wished that there was something she could say to make him feel better, but she knew that he would carry this burden with him for a long, long time. It didn't matter what she said.

Professor Dumbledore continued, informing Hermione that Professor Snape was already looking into how Lucius Malfoy had managed all this. In addition, Snape and Dumbledore would be keeping a close eye on Draco Malfoy, as he was a suspect as well. Apparently Snape thought that Draco might have helped his father get into Hogwarts or abduct Hermione. Despite how much Hermione had always disliked Draco, she didn't really think he had it in him to knowingly do something like that. Nevertheless, she figured that they could never be too careful, especially when other students close to Harry were in danger as well.

Dumbledore sighed wearily once he had finished. "I do believe that it is almost time for dinner," he said, standing from his chair, "is there anything else you wish to discuss, Miss Granger?"

Hermione looked at Remus, meeting his eyes. "You're going to stay, right?"

He understood what she was asking despite the ambiguity. "Perhaps-" he took a deep breath, "perhaps it would be best if I resigned. Twice now I have put my students in great danger. The last time- last time no one was hurt permanently, but now... My presence at Hogwarts does not seem to foster a safe environment." He finished with an indignant huff of laughter.

"No!" Hermione shot up straighter in bed, "You can't leave Hogwarts!"

"Hermione, you don't understand- if word got out about this…" The pained expression he wore was becoming all too familiar.

"You _can't_," she stated, her voice steely. "We need you here. _I_ need you to help me with all of this. Harry and the others need you too, especially with the danger Malfoy now poses."

Remus rubbed his forehead, his head drooping. "Malfoy isn't the danger, _I_ am."

Hermione looked to Dumbledore for help, but the man simply eyed Remus with a pitying expression. Ignoring the pain in her shoulder, Hermione shifted and pulled her legs over so that she sat on the side of the bed. "No you're not. This wasn't your fault, you were simply a pawn in Malfoy's game." She was growing more and more frustrated. "Nobody blames you. I know that I never could."

He didn't respond. Finally, Hermione decided that she'd had enough. If he was going to mope and not actually face things realistically then he could do that all on his own. She stood from the bed, reaching for her school robes and shrugging them on over the hospital gown. "If you'll excuse me," she murmured airily, "I need to make an appearance at dinner." She began to walk away, ignoring the stinging pain in her leg where the bite was. Just before she was out of earshot, she turned around, meeting Remus' gaze. "Please stay," she said, her voice softer this time.

He didn't respond, and she turned away before he could. Hermione was intent on sitting in the Great Hall for dinner and making sure that her friends had no clue that anything was amiss.

* * *

><p>Remus had never been the type to confide in people. That was why he'd only ever willingly told a handful of people about his Lycanthropy. He didn't like to burden people with his problems, and most of his problems were not the kind of things that could be solved by talking about them.<p>

But right now, all Remus wanted to do was confess everything to someone. He needed to get these terrible, acrid words out of his mind and into the air. He needed to know if he was as wretched and disgusting as he thought he was. He needed to see the expression on someone's face when he told them that he'd infected Hermione Granger with the bane of his existence.

No. He didn't want to see that. He already knew what the reaction would be: disgust, horror, pity, outrage.

Remus cursed loudly, standing up and chucking his glass of Firewhisky against the wall. It shattered upon impact, sending bits of glass and alcohol flying around his rooms. He stood there staring at the mess for a long time, his chest heaving. Eventually, his shoulders slumped. He glanced down at his hand, noting that it was visibly shaking.

He fell back into the couch, trying to calm down. After a moment he reached for his wand and vanished the mess of glass and Firewhisky. His eyes fell on the crackling fire. He stared at it, debating whether or not to floo call Sirius and ask if he could come over.

No. He couldn't tell Sirius. This was Hermione's secret too. If he told Sirius then there was a very good chance that Sirius would let something slip to Harry, and that was not what Hermione wanted.

As time passed, Remus resigned himself to another long, sleepless night. The only difference was tonight he wasn't a crazed, bloodthirsty wolf chasing a young woman through the Forbidden Forest. This time, he was a man drinking too much Firewhisky for a school night, thinking about all the ways in which he'd wronged Hermione Granger.

At least there was one thing he could do to help her: he would stay at Hogwarts. Hermione needed him, and he could help.

In a way it was his duty, and he would stick around to see it through.

* * *

><p>Dinner in the Great Hall took much more effort than Hermione initially thought. Luckily, however, Harry and Ginny were completely convinced that she'd come down with some minor sickness, nothing to worry about. As for Ron, he wouldn't notice anything amiss even if someone shouted it across the Great Hall. His relationship with Lavender had moved on to a new, more gag-inducing stage than ever before.<p>

Hermione had made her excuses to retire early and not join Harry and Ginny in the common room after dinner. Now all she had to do was make her way to her own dormitory and finally have some solitude.

As Head Girl, Hermione had her own separate dormitory and bathroom. She shared a small common area with the Head Boy, but she didn't mind that at all. The Head Boy was Evan Barlow, a quiet and studious Ravenclaw. He was undoubtedly the best roommate Hermione had ever had; always polite and unassuming, never taking up too much space in their shared common room.

Turning one last corner, Hermione found the portrait that led to hers and Evan's common area. The portrait was of a very outspoken and peculiar man named Artemis Bungstrell. He liked to tell Hermione stories about how he'd apparently been some great philosopher of the sixteenth century. Portraits, however, gained neither the knowledge nor the personality of their subject. Artemis was a rather presumptuous and proud character because of this. He often liked to proposition Hermione or any other visitors for lengthy discussions in which he tried to prove his depth of thought. Tonight seemed to be one of those nights.

"Ah, Granger!" He cheered, sitting up in his chair excitedly, "I was hoping you would stop by. I wanted to discuss Mawe's Theory of Kinetic Magic with you. Sir Rochester – the portrait down the corridor – and I had the most invigorating debate about it today."

"I'm sorry," Hermione sighed, "I really don't have time for this tonight, Artemis. _Asphodel_."

He huffed, sliding forward and opening at the utterance of the password.

Hermione gave the portrait one last apologetic look before proceeding into her little common room. Evan was there, sitting at one of the two desks and scribbling away at what was probably his Ancient Runes essay. He looked up when she entered, greeting her with a polite, "hello."

"Hi, Evan," Hermione tried for a normal smile, quickly moving to her own room. Once she was inside, she let out a deep breath, shrugging out of her school robes and falling onto the bed. It was strange that she could be this exhausted after sleeping for practically the whole day. But then again, Madam Pomfrey _had_ mentioned that such a drastic change as this could be particularly taxing for a few days after the infection.

Hermione closed her eyes and remembered the way Madam Pomfrey had danced around certain words, never actually saying "werewolf" or "lycanthropy". It made her angry. She wanted people to be blunt because it wasn't like she could dance around the fact that she _was_ a werewolf. No matter how hard she tried to move her thoughts away from all of this, she just kept circling back to what had happened last night.

It was good that Hermione was now alone in her rooms, far away from Remus. She didn't want him to see the heavy tears rolling down her cheeks or the way she glared at her reflection in the mirror and the scar that swept over her shoulder, still sensitive in its healing.

"_You need to put up a strong front, Hermione_," she whispered to herself, wiping her tears with the back of her hand and taking deep, shuddering breaths.

While Hermione stood resolutely in front of the mirror, Crookshanks appeared from beneath her bed, meandering forward and curling himself around Hermione's legs. He paused for a moment to sniff the bandaged bite mark on her lower calf, and then continued on. Hermione couldn't stop herself from collapsing to the ground and taking the dear old half-Kneazle into her arms.

"Oh, Crooks," she signed, wiping her unrelenting tears away and chuckling resentfully, "at least you're here to share my misery."

* * *

><p>Hermione considered herself very lucky that the boys and Ginny were too engrossed in Quidditch and their respective relationships to pay her much attention. As the weekend ended and classes begun again Hermione didn't have much of a reason to spend an abundance of time with any of them. She had a couple of classes with Harry and Ron, and they ate meals together, but other than that Hermione claimed that she was off to study for N.E.W.T.s and the boys either went to Quidditch practice or spent time with Ginny and Lavender.<p>

The stress of schoolwork luckily took Hermione's mind off of her other problems for a few hours each day. However, it was still very difficult to be in both Potions class and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Potions class was a struggle because of Professor Snape. The odd thing was that in the past, most problems with the Potions Master were because of his cruelty, but this time he wasn't being cruel to Hermione.

In class on Monday Professor Snape assigned the class to brew a Draught of Agility – something often used illegally by Quidditch players to improve their performance – and turn it in at the end of class. Hermione normally would have had no trouble at all with this potion, but she just felt so out of it. She could feel Snape's eyes on her almost constantly throughout the double class period. Every time she looked up and met his eyes his expression was even harder to figure out. She concluded that he was probably just conflicted about everything that he'd seen. For a few moments she wondered if perhaps he pitied her.

The class passed slowly, and Hermione barely managed to finish her potion in time due to her lack of concentration. She had to bottle it and rush up to Snape's desk at the very last second, handing it to him for evaluation just as the bell rang. He now looked at her with the typical snide expression. "Close call, Miss Granger," was the only thing he said.

Defense Against the Dark Arts class was the other problematic part of Hermione's routine. At first, she had been anxious to see Remus. The strange part was that when he entered the classroom it all just faded away. Hermione recognized the calming sensation as the same one she had experienced in the Hospital Wing when Remus and Dumbledore entered. She decided that she had to ask him about it later, or at least do some research.

Despite this onset of tranquility, DADA was still hard to get through. Remus avoided looking at Hermione at all costs, and each time she raised her hand and he was forced to call on her she saw the pain in his eyes. If there was anything that Hermione wanted right now, it was for that sadness and self-hatred to go away. He was a sensitive man, and he didn't deserve the pain that all of this was putting him through.

It was with these thoughts in mind that Hermione decided to visit Remus in his office the following evening. She knocked on his office door at precisely five o'clock. The hinges creaked as it opened, revealing her harried looking professor.

"Hermione," said Remus, a look of surprise etched across his face for just a moment.

"Hello, Professor," she smiled politely.

He watched her closely for a couple seconds. It was only when Hermione shifted awkwardly that he appeared to realize what he was doing. "I'm sorry, come in." He stepped back and allowed her to enter his office. "You know what?" he continued, looking around with an expression of unease, "Why don't we go into my quarters and have some tea? It's better in there."

Hermione nodded mutely, following behind as he led her through another door, into a warm and homely sitting area. It wasn't long before she was sitting across from him in front of the fireplace, a warm cup of tea in her hands.

"Is everything alright?" he asked uncomfortably. She could tell how much effort he was putting into schooling his expression. To be fair, though, Hermione was doing the same thing. They both had emotions that needed to be buried.

"Yes, everything's fine," Hermione replied quickly, "I just- well I have a few questions…"

"Of course," he obliged, sitting up straighter in an obvious attempt to look more like the professor that he was.

Pushing past her nervousness, Hermione began to explain what she had been feeling over the past few days. The strange bouts of calmness were something that he immediately picked up on, nodding like he'd been feeling the exact same thing.

"It's a werewolf thing." He winced at the realization that he'd said the "W" word, but must have decided that her unchanged expression meant it was okay to say it. "In my time spend with various packs and around other non-hostile werewolves I've noticed it too."

Hermione was intrigued. "How does it work?"

He shrugged. "Nobody is quite sure. Frankly, not many people care enough about us to want to conduct any experiments or studies on aspects of Lycanthropy like this. There's barely enough research surrounding the Wolfsbane to completely understand what it is about the plant that affects the body."

He was getting into his lecturing mode. It was nice for Hermione to see such a normal side of him coming back. "It must be magical, right?"

He nodded. "From what I've heard and how I've come to interpret things, it probably has something to do with the magical aura of werewolves. There are a lot of very ancient and strange types of magic that nobody completely understands."

"Like blood magic."

"I suppose so, yes."

Hermione took a sip of her tea, staring down at the steaming liquid to distract herself. "It feels so… tangible," she mused, "like there's a spell being actively cast on me." She closed her eyes for a moment and focused on that constant rush of what could almost be described as contentedness. When she considered it this way – as something more positive and comforting rather than unknown and frightening – she felt more inclined than ever to stay here in his sitting room for as long as she could.

Remus hummed in agreement, and Hermione remembered that he was feeling the exact same thing as her. He absently traced the rim of his mug with a finger.

"You know," he finally spoke, his eyes now roving over the bookshelves to his left, "I have quite a few books about lycanthropy that might be helpful to you. Of course, you may have read all of them already."

Hermione's eyes lit up. "I'd love to read some of them," she said earnestly, "and there isn't that much in-depth reading material on this subject in the Hogwarts library."

He smiled softly. "By all means, then, take a look."

Hermione slowly went through all of the various titles he had, trying to prolong her time here as much as she could but also quite enjoying Remus' short summarizations of all of the books. Judging by the relaxed way he was leaning back in his armchair, he was feeling better as well.

Hermione ended up with four hefty tomes, and he promised her that she could trade them in for more any time she wanted. She left his rooms significantly happier than before, even if the calming sensation of his proximity did fade away as she made her way back to her dormitory.

* * *

><p>"Hermione," Ron called out, leaning away from Lavender and across the table, "will you help me with my Transfiguration essay after dinner?"<p>

Hermione was somewhat surprised that Ron was asking this of her. They hadn't spent any real time together since he and Lavender got together in January. Now, she was faced with him actually reaching out to her for help with schoolwork, and Harry and Ginny were both sitting here to experience it as well.

"I don't know, Ron," Hermione sighed, glancing down at the beef stew in front of her. The Great Hall was overrun with the chatter of dinnertime. "I was kind of hoping to have an early night…"

"Please, Hermione," Ron persisted, "McGongall's been brutal lately and I haven't asked you for help in weeks."

She knew that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to help Ron, but she'd just been so _tired_ lately. Plus, every time she was around her friends there was the persistent worry that they might find out what had changed in her.

"It's true," Harry spoke up, "I don't think you've been to the Common Room for weeks."

She felt cornered. Even Ginny was watching her curiously. "I was in the common Room last Wednesday," she retorted, a hint of defensiveness creeping up in her tone.

"Head Girl duties don't count," Harry murmured pointedly.

Hermione exhaled slowly, trying to calm her temper. The short temper was another change she noticed in herself recently. She'd always been rather quick to anger, but now it was even worse. She often had to remind herself to stamp it down, take a few deep breaths.

Everyone was still watching her closely, and Hermione decided that she needed some fresh air. "Well I'm sorry that I have a busy life, Harry," she said, standing up form the table and shrugging her bag over her shoulder, "I just can't spend my all evenings lounging around in the common room like a bunch of third years. You all are welcome to accompany me to the library any time you want to study for N.E.W.T.s, and you can bring your transfiguration work, Ron."

Harry was watching her strangely as she made her way out of the Great Hall. One quick glance at the Head Table told her that Remus had also noticed her retreat. She made her way through the corridors briskly, soon arriving at the portrait of Artemis.

"Back from dinner early?" the portrait chimed.

"Yes," Hermione breathed, fixing a few wild hairs so that she didn't look so upset in case Evan was inside.

As per usual, Artemis began his rambling. "I had a positively invigorating conversation about Reproductivity Magic today with some Slytherin boy. Those Slytherins are really quite refreshing to speak with."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "A Slytherin?" The Slytherin Common Room was probably about as far away as you could get from Artemis' portrait, and Slytherin students rarely traveled down this particular path to get to their classes.

"Yes!" Artemis grinned, "A Prefect, said he was doing his rounds. We struck up the most interesting conversation. Did you know that Witter's Theory on Creature Hierarchy was actually founded through studying the mating habits of Mountain Trolls? It's quite ironic, actually, because-"

"Artemis," Hermione interrupted, not meaning to sound so harsh but also knowing that he would go on forever if she allowed it. "Who was it? What did he look like?" Of all the Slytherin Prefects, she couldn't think of any that were assigned to patrol this portion of the school today.

Artemis huffed a little and crossed his arms. "Oh, it was that seventh year. You know- the one with the white hair who always looks so angry and tired."

"Draco Malfoy?" she murmured.

The portrait shrugged. "I don't know his name, but getting back to the Mountain Trolls…"

Hermione allowed him to ramble on for a solid two minutes, figuring that she owed him at least a little kindness. It also allowed her a moment to inspect her surroundings. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and there was no way Malfoy could have gotten past Artemis and into her dormitory without him mentioning it. So why was Malfoy snooping around here? Hermione felt a shiver of fear, and for a moment she wondered if Malfoy was trying to capture her so his father could have another chance at taking care of her.

Footsteps coming from behind made Hermione jump. She immediately withdrew her wand and pointed it at the approaching figure.

"Hermione?" a voice called. "Oh, there you are," the form of Ginny Weasley stepped out of the shadows, "why do you have you wand out?"

Hermione let out a breath of relief, dropping her arm. "Sorry, Ginny."

"Are you okay?" Ginny's look of confusion morphed into one of concern. "Harry's a bit concerned and so am I, frankly. Can I come inside?"

"Yeah, of course." Hermione turned to Artemis, "_Asphodel_."

The portrait swung open, Artemis giving each of the girls a cheerful smile as they passed through. Hermione let herself fall languidly onto the couch, the exhaustion catching up to her. Ginny went to sit in one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace. "Is Barlow here?" she asked, looking around for any traces of the Head Boy.

"No, Evan hosts a study group in the Ravenclaw Common room on Thursdays." Hermione smiled indignantly, "maybe I should take some tips from him, huh?"

"Don't let what Ron and Harry say get to you," Ginny waved her hand dismissively, "we all need a little break from each other at times. Besides, I understand not spending time in the Common Room when you have a place like this." The redhead petted the leather of the armchair affectionately. Hermione had to admit: it _was_ a nice space. There was a fireplace, two desks, and enough room for Evan and herself to not get irritated by the other.

"But I have been neglecting you guys," she conceded, "and I'm sorry. It's just… well, you know- N.E.W.T.s and schoolwork and… everything."

"Don't worry about it Hermione," Ginny said earnestly. "You know that you can talk to me, though, right? If you ever need me; I want to make sure you know that."

Hermione felt a terrible ache in her chest. She wanted so badly to confess everything to Ginny, to allow the tears to run free. But she couldn't. Ginny might let something slip to Harry or Ron or Mrs. Weasley. She didn't want this secret to get out while Remus was still in such a fragile state.

Hermione smiled, "I know, thanks." Ginny was really a wonderful friend. Over the years they'd bonded gradually, and it was only recently (when Ginny and Harry started dating) that Hermione realized how great of a person Ginny truly was.

"Well, I should go," Ginny stood, "I told Harry I'd be back in a few minutes."

Hermione said goodbye, soon left alone, staring off into the flickering fire. Her thoughts drifted to Malfoy. She'd have to watch him closely in the future, and possibly ask Remus if Snape had found out anything else about the whole situation. For now, though, she needed to sleep and, more importantly, prepare herself for her first full moon.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I really hope you all are enjoying this so far, and I just love hearing your thoughts. Any predictions on what's going on with Draco? Anything you all want to see happen in the future?


	4. Wasteland

**IV**

Wasteland

* * *

><p>"On your N.E.W.T.s you can expect to see a heavy focus on Conjuring Spells," McGonagall lectured, a list of spells and categories magically appearing on the chalkboard behind her as she spoke. "In addition to proficiency in performing these spells, it is vital that you fully understand the accompanying principles."<p>

Hermione let her mind wander, knowing that this information had long ago been engraved into her mind. She was too tired and distracted right now to focus on McGonagall's lecture. There were other things on her mind.

The full moon was in a few days and Hermione was feeling its effects full-force. She must have eaten three times her normal serving of oatmeal for breakfast that morning. In addition, she had the most compelling craving for red meat.

In the pair of desks in front of Hermione, Seamus shifted in his seat, passing a note to Ron, who sat to his right. The way Seamus' lips quirked caught Hermione's eye. Ron turned his head to grin in response to the note, and Hermione was momentarily enraptured by the way the muscles of Ron's shoulders and back moved. She stared dreamily at the two boys in front of her, only brought back to the present by a tap on her shoulder. She turned to look at her tablemate, pushing the strange thoughts about Seamus and Ron out of her mind.

Harry whispered a question about the Principle of Artificianimate Quasi-Dominance, which she promptly answered, turning her attention back ahead.

_You've gone mad, Hermione. When did you become so boy-crazy?_

She knew that it was the full moon doing this to her. Remus' books had mentioned the enhanced sex drive that Lycanthropes often experienced before the full moon. It went hand in hand with the increased energy levels and restlessness. Hermione had found that she simply couldn't sit still today. Focusing on her teachers and classes had been harder than ever, especially with all of the people around her.

She idly wondered how Remus coped with all of this. He barely ever took days off anymore unless it was the morning after the full moon. Did it get easier over time? Were there coping methods? Hermione pondered this while she watched the way Seamus picked up a hand and mussed his hair, sending a wave of his musky cologne towards Hermione.

That was another thing: Hermione was astonished by how heightened her senses were. Sure, everyone knew that Werewolves had unusually keen senses of smell, sight, and hearing, but the magnitude of it was so much more than Hermione had anticipated. She could now easily identify each one of her acquaintances and friends just by their natural scent. She could smell Ginny's rosy perfume lingering on Harry, she could smell Gregory Goyle's body odor from across the classroom, and she could smell the licorice sticks that Ron had snacked on after Double Charms that morning. She could smell everything and anything.

"We have several weeks before N.E.W.T.s," McGonagall continued, "but I must stress how vital it is that you all begin revising as soon as possible. In addition to reviewing the material in class with me, I expect that you all are spending substantial time revising."

The bell rang, and Hermione mechanically pushed her books and quill into her bag, lugging the heavy thing over her shoulder and resisting the urge to wince at the pain in her joints. It was like her body was anticipating the impending pain of the transformation. As if she didn't have enough to worry about, fear for the transformation weighed heavy in her mind.

"Are you headed to the library?" Harry asked as they exited the classroom. Ron caught up with them after a moment, falling into stride on Hermione's left. She frowned at the scent of Lavender's pungent perfume that lingered on his clothes.

"Um, I think so, yes." Hermione was lying, but she knew the boys wouldn't catch her in it. They had to go to Quidditch Practice. "Will you be joining me later?"

"I might, yeah," Harry sighed, obviously deep in thought, "It's probably time to start studying."

"I'm glad you think so," said Hermione. "Ron, you should start thinking about joining me in the library as well."

"Yeah, whatever," Ron grumbled, a grim look on his face at the prospect of studying.

The boys walked with Hermione nearly the whole way to the library, only splitting off when the path leading to the locker rooms diverged from her own. She said her goodbyes, waiting until they were out of sight before turning around and heading in the complete opposite direction of the library.

Luckily the Hospital Wing wasn't very crowded today. Hermione made her way towards Madam Pomfrey quietly. She didn't want any rumors spreading about her being sick or paying too many visits to the Hospital Wing.

"Now, Mr. Perkins, I want you to rest. Don't move that arm unless you have to," Pomfrey said pointedly, casting a final diagnostic spell on a bruised and obviously broken arm of a Second Year Hufflepuff boy. The boy gave a meek nod and Pomfrey turned away.

"Hi, Madam Pomfrey," Hermione greeted, forcing herself to smile politely even though it was exceedingly difficult when thinking about the potion she was about to ingest.

"Ah, Miss Granger," Pomfrey bustled past the young witch, moving towards her office near the front of the Hospital Wing. "Here is your potion," she picked up the green bottle, handing it over.

Hermione took the Wolfsbane and uncorked it, trying not to breathe through her nose while she downed its contents. The thing really did taste awful. She'd had to drink one dose every night this week and the taste only seemed to get worse with each bottle.

Pomfrey stood there for a long moment, waiting until Hermione had finished her potion.

"Is there something else?" Hermione furrowed her brow.

"Yes," Madam Pomfrey nodded, "the Headmaster has asked to see you in his office after you're done here."

"Oh."

"You should go," Pomfrey said solemnly, "the password is Fizzing Whisbees."

Hermione stood there for a long moment before deciding that she didn't want to keep Dumbledore waiting. She swept out of the hospital wing and briskly made her way across the school.

"Come in," Dumbledore's muffled voice called through the doorway just as Hermione arrived at the top of the staircase. She turned the doorknob and slipped inside. She was surprised to see that Professor Dumbledore wasn't alone; Remus was there as well, his shoulder's tight with tension as he stood beside Dumbledore's desk.

"Is everything alright?" Hermione asked, stepping further inside and standing across from Dumbledore's desk.

"Everything is fine," the Headmaster assured, glancing between Remus and Hermione genially. It was only now that Hermione recognized that Remus was going through the same thing she was: the extra energy, the aching muscles and joints, the enhanced senses.

"I simply wanted to discuss the arrangements for the upcoming full moon," Dumbledore continued. "Remus and I have discussed it, and we both think that the Shrieking Shack is a suitable place for the pair of you to spend the night."

"Only if you want me to be there with you," Remus interjected, looking anxious. Now that Hermione was closer to him she could make out the tired lines of his face.

"Of course," Hermione breathed, "I mean- if you don't want to-"

"I want to help you, Hermione," said Remus. His finality was somewhat reassuring.

She nodded mutely, turning back to Dumbledore and trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach at the intense way Remus had looked at her. This damned increased sex drive was going to be the death of her if she didn't learn to control herself… First Seamus, then Ron, and now _Remus_?

"Wonderful," Professor Dumbledore clasped his hands together, "I'm glad that's settled. But as for your friends, Miss Granger: I trust you know that this cannot be hidden from them forever."

"I know." Hermione studied the carpet beneath her feet. "I just… I need more time…" She didn't want Harry, Ron, and Ginny to know yet. When they found out it would just make this situation an even bigger part of her life. Plus, after they knew it wouldn't be long before the rest of the Weasleys knew. She wasn't ready to be on the receiving end of their pity yet.

"Understandable," Dumbledore said, "I don't think it will be too suspicious if you have one more sick day in the hospital wing, do you?"

Hermione shook her head. "They're too busy with other things to notice at this point." In truth, she was a bit worried about Ginny's suspicion, but she could deal with that when the time came.

"Very well."

After a few other minor details were straightened out, Hermione and Remus departed from Dumbledore's office together. She could feel the awkwardness that still lingered between them.

"Where are you headed?" He asked just as they finished descending the staircase from Dumbledore's office.

"The library."

"Hmmm. I should have guessed." His lighthearted tone was a welcome change. Hermione couldn't help smiling in response.

"Well," Remus exhaled, "since my office is in that direction I might as well accompany you."

They talked casually for a few moments. He asked her how she was finding the books he'd given her. She told him that of the ones she'd managed to get through so far, the information was proving very useful.

"And how are you coping with the side effects?" He asked, giving her a sidelong glance. They were nearly at the library now.

Hermione furrowed her brow. "'Side effects?'"

"Sorry, that's what I call them. You know," he lowered his voice, "the pre-moon symptoms. Are you feeling them yet?"

She nodded, "yeah. They're a lot more potent than I expected, especially the sense of smell." _Never mind the sex drive,_ a voice in her head added.

"Ah," he sighed, "I'm afraid the sense of smell never quite goes away. The other ones do become easier to tune out, though."

"Even the restlessness?" she asked, "I feel like I could go a week without sleeping if I wanted to."

"The restlessness is a bad one as well," he conceded, "but I happen to have a solution…"

Hermione perked up. "What is it?"

"I go for runs a lot before the full moon, believe it or not. It helps to get rid of all the energy and aggression. Plus, running helps you fall asleep, and you need plenty of sleep for this sort of thing." They were outside the library now. Remus stopped and faced her, tilting his head to the side a little and watching her. "You know, I was planning on going for a short jog around the grounds after dinner tomorrow night. You're welcome to join me if you'd like."

"Really?" Hermione considered it. She'd never been on a run before, but she was desperate for something to waste all this extra energy on. "I'd love to, actually."

He smiled, and Hermione was glad for it because it was the first honest smile she'd seen from him in a long time. "Good. Are you nervous?"

Hermione glanced behind her, making sure no students were within earshot. "Yeah," she admitted, her expression falling, "the books you gave me made me feel a lot more prepared, but still…"

"It's frightening," he finished for her. She nodded. "Don't worry too much about it. It's only a few minutes of real pain, and then you're just tired. It'll be okay in the end, Hermione." Despite the positive tone of his words, she could see the self-hatred welling up in his eyes.

_How long would it be before he forgave himself for this? Would he _ever_ forgive himself?_

She took a deep breath and looked him square in the eyes. "Yeah, it will be okay."

He managed a half-smile and quickly said his goodbyes. Hermione stood still and watched as he retreated off towards the DADA corridor. It was only the footsteps of another approaching student that spurred her on into the library. She pushed everything about the full moon and Remus out of her mind, intent on at least getting some revision done before the boys came back from Quidditch practice.

* * *

><p>Hermione was pleasantly surprised to find that jogging wasn't actually that bad. She met Remus after dinner the night before the full moon and they spent at least an hour running around the Black Lake, occasionally stopping to rest and admire the scenery. Slowly, Hermione's excessive amounts of energy were worn down, along with some of her anxiety about the full moon. It was late when they both decided to head back to the school.<p>

They walked slowly back up the path to Hogwarts, talking about Hermione's classes, what they were learning in DADA; anything but the full moon. Eventually they went their separate ways. Hermione made her way up to her dormitory with barely enough energy to take a shower before passing out under her warm duvet.

When the morning came Hermione felt marginally more rested than before, but it was a welcome improvement. There was also a strange sense of foreboding within her. It was like her body was warning her of the impending full moon, renewing her anxiety and never allowing thoughts of what would happen that night to leave her mind.

Her nervousness made the whole day pass too quickly. After dinner she made her way to the front of the school like Dumbledore had instructed her. She saw Remus already waiting there, but was surprised to note that Professor Snape was also present.

"Hello," she greeted, offering her best attempt at a polite smile.

"Hi, Hermione," Remus replied. He looked almost as anxious as she felt. It was sort of relieving to know that he was going through the same thing she was, and she wondered if he felt the same about her being there.

"Let's go," said Snape. The Potions Master wore a blank expression as he escorted them out of the school, heading towards the Whomping Willow at a brisk pace. A strange jolt of magic told Hermione that Snape had wordlessly disillusioned the three of them. She assumed that that was why Dumbledore had asked Snape to escort them. He was there to make sure that Lucius Malfoy couldn't get to them again. Hermione shuddered at the thought.

When they arrived at the Whomping Willow Snape stopped. He looked distinctly uncomfortable all of a sudden, and Hermione assumed that it was probably memories of what had happened here in her third year. She still had nightmares about all of it: the Dementors, Remus' transformation, and Sirius attacking Ron. Maybe Snape had nightmares as well.

"I will be back to retrieve you in the morning," Snape drawled, staring the two of them down. "Do _not_ leave the Shack until I am there." With that, he stormed off.

Hermione followed Remus all the way through the passageway and into the Shrieking Shack. It looked similar to when she had last been here, but there were a few minor changes. There was less dust and rotten wood, and the claw marks that used to cover the walls and floors were now gone. In addition, Hermione spotted a new rug in the middle of the large room along with a worn out couch that hadn't been there before. She wondered if it had been renovated for Remus when he came back to Hogwarts at the beginning of the year.

"We have about fifteen minutes," Remus stated, looking down at his wristwatch before he began to remove it. Hermione was confused at first, but then she remembered that all their clothes would be destroyed if they didn't remove them before the transformation. She could feel the blush rise in her cheeks.

As if he could hear her thoughts, Remus spoke up, "there's some spare dressing robes that Albus said he would have here for us." Hermione watched as he searched the room and eventually came forward with two oversized robes. "They can be repaired in the morning," he murmured.

Hermione nodded and took one of the robes, shuffling off to the old, out of order bathroom that was adjoined to the Drawing Room and shutting the door behind her. She changed awkwardly, her fingers fumbling with the buttons of her blouse and her teeth chattering from the general draftiness of the house along with her skittishness.

When she came out of the decrepit bathroom Remus was already changed. They must have looked quite funny, both of them in the Shrieking Shack in dressing robes, waiting for the moon to rise.

Hermione sat down on the edge of the couch gingerly, noticing the way her joints and muscles were starting to ache even more acutely in anticipation of what was to come. She didn't notice that her knee was bouncing up and down rapidly until Remus pointed it out.

"You're scared," he said.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"It'll be over in a matter of minutes, just remember that." She didn't know how he was speaking so calmly right now, but credited it to years of experience with this sort of thing. "Plus," he continued, "I really don't think the transformation will be quite as bad now that we're going through it together."

They stood in silence for a few more minutes. Hermione tried to focus on her breathing, repeating an _in… out… in… out_ mantra in her head. She could feel Remus' eyes on her, but didn't meet his gaze. She knew that he felt awful about her first transformation. Over the past month his guilt and self-hatred had waned slightly, but now they would come back full force when he saw how much pain Hermione was about to go through.

With a sudden jolt, Hermione knew that the transformation was starting. Her skin began to crawl, as if her blood was flowing through her body at three times the normal pace. Remus took several steps backward and closed his eyes. Hermione mimicked him, slamming her eyes shut and trying not to cry.

Soon the pain started. It was worse than any pain Hermione could have imagined. First, she felt the bones of her fingers start to pop out of place and reform. After her fingers every bone in her body started to feel like it was shifting and breaking. That was when she started to scream. She wasn't even coherent enough to notice if Remus was screaming as well, but she knew that with this sort of pain, he must have been.

Sometime during all of this she had fallen off the couch, onto the floor. She was on her knees now, clutching and clawing at her skin as it ripped and changed to fur. It was one part horribly disturbing and one part terribly painful.

It was the end of the transformation that hurt the most. She'd read about this part in the books Remus gave her. This was the part where her spine reformed itself, and she could almost hear the bones crack. There were several seconds in which she thought that the transformation had gone horribly wrong and she was about to snap in half and die.

Finally, the pain started to diminish. It was quick and merciful. Hermione found herself able to stop crying and moaning in pain. She stared at the floorboards beneath her for a long minute as the ripples of pain and tingling aftershock subsided. Finally, she was able to lift her head and refocus on her surroundings.

A large grey wolf was standing across from her; it's amber eyes bright and focused. For a moment, a shiver of fear rippled down her spine. Would he hurt her? Was she safe? But then her senses came back and she realized that this was just Remus. He was just as conscious as she was right now, and she _definitely_ was conscious.

She assessed her new body, noting the significant height difference and the changes in her muscles and limbs. Glancing down, she saw that furry paws beneath her. They were a dark shade of brown, just like the rest of her fur and, as she looked back, her tail.

She wanted to tell Remus how surreal all of this was and how different the transformation had been from what she expected, but she realized that she couldn't speak. She opened her mouth – which was now actually a snout – and let out something akin to a bark.

For a moment she thought he might bark back at her, but instead he turned and started towards the large carpet, sniffing it for a few seconds before lying down on it. His head rested on his front legs as he sat, his amber eyes still trained on Hermione.

She knew that he was trying to lead by example and get her to lie down and rest, but she couldn't rest at a time like this. She began to methodically make her way around the room, sniffing every strange scent she could pick up on. If she thought that her sense of smell before had been great, it was nothing compared to this. There were hundreds of new scents to dissect, and she found that she simply couldn't resist doing just that. As she made her way back and forth around the room Remus' amber eyes followed her the whole way, always calm and observant.

It was at least two hours before she was done, her restlessness somewhat worn out. She finally made her way towards the carpet and curled up a few feet from Remus, closing her eyes and trying to drift off to sleep.

When morning finally came, Hermione was startled awake by the same fiery pain she had felt several hours earlier. Before she had much time to get her bearings she was howling out in pain. She desperately clawed at her fur as the transformation progressed, unable to get a grip as her howls slowly turned into human screams.

The transformation felt longer this time, and when it subsided she collapsed on the ground, naked and shivering.

Remus' grunt of pain as he fell to the ground a few feet away made her realize where she was: nude and lying only a few feet from her equally nude professor. She picked her head up despite the protest from nearly every aching bone in her body and looked around, soon spotting her dressing robe. In a few moments she was shrugging the somewhat ruined robe over herself, and judging from the rustling behind her, Remus was doing the same.

While shrugging the robe over her shoulders, Hermione was surprised to find several red scratch marks trailing up her arms, spanning other random parts of her body. None of them broke the skin, but it was still an alarming sight.

"Are you okay?" Remus' hoarse voice caught her attention. She turned to him, seeing the way his eyes traced the faintly raised skin on her arms.

"That hurt a lot," she groaned, leaning against the front of the couch and closing her eyes. She could feel the exhaustion weighing her down, mingling with the resounding aches of her muscles and joints.

After a long break of silence, Remus spoke up again, "we should get changed. Severus will be here soon."

Hermione didn't even try to restrain her groan. "I'm so tired."

"We'll be back at the castle soon. Once we get there you can sleep for the whole day," he spoke in harsh breaths, struggling to stand upright.

Hermione eventually got herself up from the ground as well, making her way back into the small bathroom to change. It took her several minutes longer to change, the pain of lifting her arms and legs causing a significant delay. Finally, she exited the bathroom to find an equally dressed Remus. Together, they made their slow way back to the passage to the Whomping Willow. On the way, Hermione was surprised to see the cloaked form of Professor Snape coming towards them. For some reason, she'd doubted that he would actually come to retrieve them.

Snape immediately pulled two vials from his robes, handing one to Hermione and one to Remus. "From Poppy," he explained uselessly, looking uncomfortable with the idea that maybe he cared enough to bring them Pepper up Potions.

Hermione drank hers quickly, shaking off the steaming ears and happily allowing some of her pains to fade away. Remus drank his and a moment later they were off.

Snape escorted them all the way back to the Hospital Wing, letting out huffs of irritation in response to their slow pace. In the Hospital Wing Madam Pomfrey escorted Hermione and Remus to a closed off corner of the room, giving each a bed to sit on while she sorted out some other potions to take.

Hermione sat on the edge of the bed gazing down at her arms. The scratches had faded some, but they were still prominent. A glance up at Remus showed that he was eyeing them too, the same sad expression on his face. "It's not that bad," she said meekly, rubbing her arms.

He exhaled slowly, "you're right. It's not."

She tilted her head in confusion. "You think so?"

He nodded. "Usually the first transformation leaves much more damage. It's probably because we were together. When wolves are close to each other around the moon many aspects of the transformation get easier. That's why so many wolves tend to travel in packs." He was falling into his lecturing mode. It was actually quite endearing that he could still be scholarly and thoughtful in this state. Hermione shook _that_ thought away as quickly as it came.

"Huh," she murmured.

Before Remus had any more time to explain his theories or lecture further Pomfrey came back, her arms full of various healing products. Hermione and Remus each took three separate potions: one for strengthening, one for soreness, and one for magical drainage. In addition, Hermione received a large amount of both Scarring Salve and Bruising Paste.

Hermione and Remus were soon ushered out of the Hospital Wing, both eager to get back to their own rooms and rest. Before they parted in the corridor Hermione turned to Remus. "Professor," she said, for some reason adopting the formality because they were in the public corridors of the school, "thank you for everything. I really appreciate it."

Remus rested his tired eyes on her and smiled wearily. It was only now that she realized that his human eyes were quite different from the amber color of the wolf's. These eyes were a speckled shade of green. "It's no problem, Hermione," he said, "in fact, it was a lot easier to have you around than being alone. Thank you."

She stamped down the urge to blush and quickly said goodbye, rushing off through the corridors back to her dormitory as quickly as her fatigued legs would carry her. Luckily, Evan was still asleep, so she didn't have to answer any potentially troublesome questions about why she was sneaking in so early in the morning, looking much worse for the wear.

In the privacy of her own room, Hermione decided that before she could sleep she really needed to bathe. The Pepper Up Potion had helped a lot with the tiredness, so she didn't feel as if she would fall asleep at any moment. This allowed her to take the opportunity to run herself a hot, soothing bath.

The bottle of Lavender soap that Hermione always used was sitting on the edge of the tub, waiting for a special occasion like this one. Hermione's mother occasionally bought her Lavender soap from a Muggle store and sent it to Hermione at school. Hermione reserved it for special occasions simply because her mum couldn't send it that often.

She stripped down slowly, letting out sighs of pain every time she had to move her body too much. After all her clothes had been tossed on the floor she stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at her reflection pensively. It was now that she noted that the skin of her neck and shoulders had also been clawed red in the heat of the moment. In addition to the raised skin all over her body she noted her awfully pale complexion, combined with the skittish look in her eyes. She looked dreadful.

Settling into the hot bathwater, Hermione washed herself thoroughly with her Lavender soap. The scent reminded her of when she was little and her mother used to wash and comb her unruly hair every night. These thoughts only served to make her feel guilty that her parents didn't know what was going on, but it was better this way. This way her parents didn't have to worry. This way Hermione didn't have to assure them that she was okay when in truth last night had been the most awful, torturous night of her life.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the back of the bathtub and stretching out her limbs. Images of the moon and of the night sky flashed before her closed eyelids. She couldn't help but remember the grotesque pain of her bones breaking and fusing together again. The memory sent her whole body into a bit of a spasm. Water spilled over the edges of the tub and Hermione had to open her eyes and clench her fists together to get herself to stop shaking. A few stray tears leaked from her eyes as she washed her hair and finished up her bath.

She stepped out of the bathtub and quickly applied the Scarring Salve Pomfrey had given her, still shaking. A few moments later she was falling into bed, curling up beneath the heavy duvet and drifting off to sleep. Her dreams were frightening memories of the full moon and of the pain it brought, mingled with a few moments of respite in which she dreamt of the smell of lavender and the rich color of Remus' amber wolf eyes.

It was a long night.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Thanks so much for all the reviews/favorites/follows! You guys are so wonderful. The next chapter is where it really gets exciting…


	5. Fight or Flight

**V**

Fight or Flight

* * *

><p>It was on Hermione's way to the Gryffindor Common Room that she first heard the footsteps behind her. She'd just left her own Common Room, intent on spending an evening with the boys and Ginny now that she was fully recovered from the full moon. As she walked she perked up, listening more closely to the sounds behind her.<p>

They were definitely footsteps, light and hesitant, obviously coming from somebody who didn't want to be heard. What this person didn't know, however, was that Hermione Granger now had the exceptional hearing range of a werewolf

Taking a deep breath, she also caught a whiff of the person's scent. It smelled of expensive cologne and the Slytherin Dungeons. It took only seconds for Hermione to realize that Draco Malfoy was indeed following her.

With what Artemis had told her only a short time ago about Draco hanging around outside of his portrait, this incident became even more suspicious. Hermione decided to do the Gryffindor thing and confront Draco. After all, it was better to catch him by surprise than to let him get a free shot on her in an empty corridor.

With a swift turn of her feet, she whisked around, spotting the platinum blonde hair of Draco Malfoy several paces behind her. He quickly ducked behind a pillar, but she had already seen him. Hermione stalked towards him quickly, drawing her wand and preparing for whatever he had in store.

He jumped out from behind the pillar at the last moment, his wand pointed at her. Hermione was too quick; the _Expelliarmus_ left her lips before he could even meet her gaze. His wand flew into her free hand.

"Malfoy," Hermione seethed, "what do you think you're doing?"

He stuttered for a moment. "Y-you drew your wand on me!"

"Because you were following me!"

He paled slightly, his eyes bolting around to examine their surroundings. With her advanced hearing, Hermione could tell that a group of students was just around the corridor, coming this way. She didn't want to make a scene with Draco, so she decided to do something that she was sure Harry and Ron would say was completely stupid.

"In the classroom," she ordered, motioning with her wand to a nearby empty room, "now."

He straightened up, his nose lifting in the air and his eyes narrowing. Hermione could hear the snobbish comeback in her head before he even said it. "I don't have to take orders from _you_."

"Get in the classroom, Malfoy, or I'll take away all the points you've earned this week and give you a month of detention with McGonagall." She knew these sorts of threats were a petty abuse of power, but in her opinion, anything was game when dealing with the likes of Draco Malfoy.

He sneered, letting out a huff of breath before making his way into the empty classroom. Hermione followed and closed the door behind her, placing a silencing charm over it for good measure. Once she was done, she turned back to Draco, her wand still trained on him. "Why were you following me?"

"I wasn't."

"Yes you were. You hid from me when I turned around. Did your father put you up to this?"

Those words struck a chord with Draco, and suddenly he looked a hundred times tenser. "My father doesn't have anything to do with this," he countered stonily.

"Your father has something to do with nearly everything." She took a step forward. The way his eyes darted between her wand hand and her face gave her a burst of carnal enjoyment that she could only attribute to the Lycanthropy. "Fess up, Draco," she murmured, "Or… I suppose we could always bring this to Dumbledore if you'd like."

His eyes widened slightly, and it was now that Hermione noticed how exhausted he looked. She somehow knew that bringing up Dumbledore would scare him, but she was getting much more of a reaction than she had expected. With another menacing step forward, Draco was ready to give in.

"My father just wanted me to keep an eye on you. It's nothing more than that." His words were short and his tone clipped.

"Why? Is this about what happened last month?" She was treading in risky waters here, but she expected that if Lucius Malfoy had told his son to tail her, he'd probably explained why. For a moment she wondered if Draco and Lucius knew the truth of what had happened; that his failed plan had failed in another way entirely.

Draco nodded warily. "He's angry." Something in the boy's somber expression told Hermione that things were far from right in the Malfoy household. There was a rift between Draco and his father, and if Hermione guessed, Draco did not want to be involved in his father's attempts to 'take care' of Harry's friends. Draco was far from a good person, but Hermione had known him for years. She knew that he wasn't so far gone as to want to participate such violence against his classmates, even if Hermione was a Mudblood and a Gryffindor.

"I'm going to stun you," she informed him, "It will only last for five minutes, and I'll leave your wand for when you wake up." She figured that five minutes was enough time for her to safely make her way to the Gryffindor Common Room. "But let me make myself clear, Draco: your father tried to kill me. If I tell Professor Dumbledore that you are helping your father make another attempt at my life or anyone else in this school I have no doubt that he will ship you straight home to your father. Don't make me do that. I know that you don't want to become like your father." Hermione leaned in closer, her expression turning into a feral grimace. "Stay. Away. From. Me."

Before Draco had any time to react, Hermione's stunner hit him. He slumped to the ground, allowing Hermione to place his wand beside him and slip out the doorway.

She made her way to the Gryffindor Tower wondering if there was even a small chance at redemption for Draco. Judging by the way he reacted to her bringing Lucius up, Draco was afraid of his father. Going off of that, Hermione figured that Draco probably did not want to follow the path of his father or of the other Death Eaters.

Maybe there was hope for him yet.

* * *

><p>Two weeks after the full moon came the first Hogsmeade weekend of the Spring. It was getting somewhat warmer outside, and everyone around the school was in a generally cheerful mood. Even Hermione was happier than normal. She'd turned in a huge Potions assignment on the previous day, and the weight of schoolwork being lifted off of her shoulders was a welcomed relief.<p>

Hermione walked down to Hogsmeade with Ginny, Ron, and Harry around her. The boys seemed happy to have Hermione spending more time with them, and she was determined to keep up the act of the healthy and completely normal life.

The group was walking along ahead of most of the upper-year students. As Head Girl, Hermione liked to lead the pack on the way to Hogsmeade. Evan usually brought up the back with some of his fellow Ravenclaws. As they approached the village, Hermione spotted Professor Snape catching up to the front. Not far behind him was Remus.

Professor Dumbledore had recently implemented a new policy: During every Hogsmeade weekend two teachers were picked to accompany the students and spend the day in the village. Somehow Remus and Snape had ended up being assigned the same day. Harry and Ron found it quite amusing to watch Snape grimace with distaste when his name was mentioned as the "co-supervisor" of this weekend's visit. Hermione just felt sort of awkward about it. She and Remus had a complicated relationship lately. Plus, Snape basically hated them all on the basis of being Gryffindors, so there was always some animosity and awkwardness there.

Snape and Remus arrived at the front of the group just as they got to the outer edge of the village. All of the students collectively stopped when Snape turned to face them. Remus stood at his side casually, but still holding his professorial air about him.

"Students, you have until three-thirty, as per usual. I would like to remind you that Hogsmeade is a privilege, not to be taken advantage of by troublemaking, pestilent children." His voice was harsh but with a simultaneous air of disinterest. When Snape was finished he inclined his head slightly towards Remus, who shook his head, indicating that he had nothing else to add.

"You may go," said Snape.

The large crowd of students erupted into excited chatter as everyone made their way past the teachers and into the village. Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny remained where they were, waiting for the crowd to die down a little before they set off into the village.

Just as the four of them passed Remus and Snape, Hermione caught Remus' eye. He'd been watching her, and he smiled when they made eye contact. Hermione couldn't resist the urge to smile broadly in response. Her mistake was that she hadn't noticed Ginny watching the exchange.

"Let's go to Honeydukes before they sell out of all the good stuff," Ron said, looking more like an third year than a seventh year in his excitement.

Harry nodded in agreement, looking to Hermione and Ginny next.

"I think we're going to stop by some other shops first," Ginny interjected, looping her arm through Hermione's.

Hermione could barely hear Harry's mumbled "okay" before Ginny was pulling her away. "So," the girl began, giving Hermione a sly look, "you're crushing on Lupin now, are you?"

"What?" Hermione nearly gasped, "where did you get that from?"

"Oh come on," Ginny exclaimed cheerfully, still pulling them along the street, "I saw the way you smiled and blushed. It's exactly the way you used to look at Ron, and Krum before him."

"I don't have a crush on him," Hermione insisted, setting her face into an expression of indifference. "He's my professor."

Ginny chuckled, but didn't say anything more on the subject.

Together, Hermione and Ginny shopped for a bit, spending a lot of time looking at dress robes and then splitting up so Hermione could go to Tomes and Scrolls and Ginny could meet up with the boys at the Three Broomsticks.

Inside Tomes and Scrolls, Hermione was happy to find that other customers didn't occupy the bookshelves holding books on magical creatures. She pondered what she'd found out from the books Remus had given her while looking for titles involving Lycanthropy.

Remus' books had been highly intriguing and filled with unique information about Lycanthropy. One of the books had focused solely on the Wolfsbane potion, and that had been what Hermione was most enthralled by.

The Wolfsbane potion was intriguing because it functioned mainly by interrupting the ability of the wolf to take complete control over the human's brain. The Wolfsbane had some agent in it that made it so that the brain became almost independent of the wolf, but still managed to control the body. It was really an ingenious invention, and Hermione very much wanted to learn more about it.

Despite the potion being accepted and well known to academics, nobody completely understood how it worked. Hermione was determined to understand it more. She knew it was silly to think that maybe she could do something like this, but a small part of her brain wondered if perhaps a variation could be made on the potion so that instead of just restricting the brain from the control of the wolf, the potion restricted the whole body from the wolf.

She ended up purchasing a book that focused on mind-altering potions, with a specific and rather extensive section on the Wolfsbane. Before leaving, she shrunk the book and pushed it into her pocket. Hermione left the store eager to meet the others at the Three Broomsticks and then get back to her dormitory so she could read.

Her mind was so distracted by thoughts of the new book currently nestled in her pocket that for a long time she didn't notice the ominous hum of people around her.

"Who is that?" one young Hufflepuff boy asked his friend, pointing behind Hermione. Her attention was caught, and she turned around. Far off, several shops down the street was a large, cloaked figure, making their way at a brisk pace down the road. As the person walked, they approached a group of third years outside of Honeydukes who were not paying attention to the frightful figure. One young boy took a step backwards, bumping into the cloaked person by accident.

Hermione's senses weren't that good this far from the full moon, but she could clearly hear the man's loud growl of anger. The young boy turned to face the figure and immediately let out a wail of terror.

The man pushed the boy aside, continuing on down the street, now removing his wand from his cloak. Some of the other children screamed when they saw him, and others just backed away in fear. There was something wrong here, and, after looking around and seeing neither Snape nor Remus, Hermione decided that she had to do something.

"Go inside the stores," she ordered, turning to the group of younger children behind her. The children looked hesitant, but after a harsh glare from their Head Girl they obeyed.

Next, Hermione spotted Neville Longbottom walking in her direction. Judging by the worried crinkle of his brow, he knew something was very wrong. "Neville!" Hermione called, "I think I may need you to go find Professor Lupin or Professor Snape."

"Do you know who that is?" Neville asked, eyeing the man. Hermione took one more glance at the figure. Each time he got close enough to a student, they shrank away in fear and horror. He must have looked quite frightening under the hood of his cloak. He appeared to be scanning the crowd of students around him.

_Is he looking for someone?_

"No," she shook her head in response to Neville, "but I need you to go find a professor."

"Okay," Neville breathed, rushing off in the other direction to search.

When Hermione turned around the man was closer, and she could now recognize why the students had screamed at the sight of him. He looked positively menacing, with matted grey hair and grotesque scars cutting across his face. For a moment, she wondered if she knew him from somewhere. But surely she would recognize someone so frightening.

Suddenly, as if he could hear her thoughts, he turned to face her. They locked eyes. He took a deep breath of air, inhaling deeply and focusing more on Hermione. She raised her wand, but before she could use it he knocked it out of her hand with a powerful disarming spell.

She took a step backward, looking for anyone nearby who could help, but the street had almost cleared of people entirely. He was stalking towards her, and she could now smell him too. He smelled dirty and foul, but there was something different… something different and familiar about him…

He was a werewolf.

As soon as that thought entered Hermione's mind, she realized something else: this was Fenrir Greyback. This was the werewolf she had seen in the _Prophet_ and heard whispers of from Order members. He was one of the Death Eaters, or at least associated with them. And from the looks of it, he was trying to get to her.

Hermione turned and broke into a sprint in the opposite direction, making her way toward the nearest shop. She didn't make it very far. A quick spell cast on her feet bound them together, causing Hermione to stumble and fall roughly to the ground. She let out a shout of pain before another spell was cast on her, clamping her mouth shut and rendering her silent.

Greyback's footsteps approached from behind. Suddenly she was being jerked upward by the collar of her robes, and she could walk again. To her dismay, her screams were still silent.

Greyback pulled her along to an alleyway between Tomes and Scrolls and the shop beside it. He proceeded to cast another unidentifiable spell, one that looked a lot like a concealing charm of some sort.

Greyback's next flick of his wand released the silencing spell. Upon realizing that she could speak again, she let out a loud, angry scream, shoving her arms against him. Most of her raging anger stemmed from the fact that she had allowed herself to end up in a situation like this _again_.

_Really, Hermione, you need to start thinking about your own safety for a change._

Though, she did suppose that it was better Greyback was after _her_ rather than one of the younger students. She would just die of guilt if she allowed one of them to get hurt.

"What do you want?" Hermione spat at him.

He was still holding onto the collar of her cloak, now moving to push her roughly up against the brick wall of the alley. His crooked toothed grin was almost more repulsive than the smell of his rancid breath. Hermione momentarily cursed her enhanced sense of smell for allowing her to identify the scent of blood on his breath.

Obviously amused by her disgust, Greyback leaned closer, closing his eyes and taking a long whiff of Hermione's scent. She squirmed under his grip, trying to think of some way she could get away from him before he did something disastrous like Disapparate her somewhere.

"Ah," he breathed, pulling away and opening his dark amber eyes, "you're definitely the one Lupin bit, then."

Her eyes widened. "Wh-what?"

Greyback's lips spread into a menacing grin, and Hermione couldn't resist the urge to shiver. This movement only prompted his eyes to leave her face and roam over her body. She felt like she was going to vomit.

"I knew Lupin had changed someone, but you're quite a pleasant surprise, aren't you?" His leering gaze did not falter as his eyes returned to her face. "You see, as the wolf who changed Lupin, I have a sense for when he has… _created_ a new wolf." She had no idea this man was the one who had infected Remus, but it instilled her with a great stab of sadness and anger.

Greyback's wand hand came up to her face, one finger tracing the hollow of her cheek, down along her neck and throat. Hermione tried to turn her head away from him, but his grip was too tight.

"Lupin wasn't supposed to change anyone," the man continued, "we have a bit of an agreement, the pair of us. The rules are that he never changes anyone, but if he does… _they're mine_." His final words were just a whisper, his free hand simultaneously falling to her waist, clasping with a rough, bruising grip. Hermione's expression must have been rather amusing then, because Greyback let out a loud grunt of laughter.

"He didn't try to change me," she challenged, steeling herself and meeting his gaze with a fierce bravery, "it was a mistake."

Greyback shook his head chidingly. "Ah, but I simply don't care, pet. He still did it, eh? Lupin broke the rules and now he must pay the price."

She knew that he was preparing to leave because at that moment he picked up his wand hand again and began to take down the concealment charm. The spell made it more difficult to Disapparate within its range.

Hermione turned her head towards where the alleyway let out, looking for any sign of hope. By some stretch of fate, Professor Snape briskly strode into view, and not far behind him came none other than Remus. Hermione screamed then, her words unintelligible but definitely audible to the professors.

Without a moment's hesitation, Snape sent out a barreling spell, catching Greyback and throwing him across the alley. Greyback smashed into the wall with a loud grunt, sliding to the floor against the bricks and dirt. Hermione stumbled away from the man, sliding along the opposite wall as fast as her legs could take her.

Greyback got off the ground quickly, sending rapid bursting spells at Snape while stalking towards Hermione. Snape fought back with ease, and soon Remus joined in as well. The bright torrent of spells around Hermione lasted for a solid twenty seconds before they ceased. Greyback had Disapparated with an echoing crack.

She kept her eyes on the spot he'd been standing in as she moved, not even watching where she was going when she bumped backwards into Remus. His hand came up to grasp her upper arm, and she felt the wave of soothing calm hit her hard. Hermione let out a long, heavy breath, leaning her head back against the brick wall and trying to get her heart rate under control.

"Hermione" Remus' grip on her arm tightened. His wand hand came up to rest on her opposite shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She looked at him and was surprised by the amount of emotion behind his green speckled eyes. "I'm fine," she said, her voice only a whisper. Snape approached the pair of them, a dark glint in his eyes.

"What did Greyback say? What did he want?" Snape was livid.

Hermione played the conversation over in her mind, thinking through Greyback's few words spoken to her. When she opened her mouth to speak her voice came out stronger than before, "he knows that I'm a werewolf. He said something about an agreement Remus has with him."

Remus was confused for a moment, but then his jaw slackened with the realization. He dropped both of his hands, backing away from her. His voice was far-off when he spoke. "I'm so sorry that happened, Hermione. It's not- none of that means anything- he can't do anything-"

"I'm sure you have a lengthy explanation to give, Lupin," Snape interjected suspiciously, "but perhaps we ought to have this conversation back in Albus' office? Once the other students are safely inside the castle?"

Remus looked at Snape for a long moment before allowing his shoulders to slump in a way that made him look remarkably similar to Harry. "Of course," he murmured, taking another step away from Hermione.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry, Hermione," Remus moaned, his head falling into his hands for about the fifteenth time in the past hour. Remus and Hermione, after arriving back at the school, had come to Dumbledore's office to speak about the incident at Hogsmeade. Hermione had cooled off since their arrival, but Remus had not.<p>

She wasn't angry anymore. She was just sad. Remus' disconsolate state and her own exhaustion made her want to curl up into a ball with Crookshanks at her side and sleep.

"Remus," Dumbledore began, "perhaps it would help if you explained why this happened?"

Remus picked his head up, one hand still rubbing his temple. "Years ago Greyback sought me out. He wanted me to join his pack." Hermione watched as Remus' expression became even more hateful. "He thought I owed it to him, because he infected me. He wanted me to come with him and live like an animal."

Hermione wanted so badly to give Remus some sort of comfort.

"I said 'no'. He eventually coerced me into agreeing that if I ever created another werewolf they would take my place in his pack." Remus turned his eyes on Hermione now, "I never thought I'd create another Werewolf." He looked away shamefully, "I guess Greyback knew me better than I knew myself."

"Don't say that," Hermione interjected, "you didn't mean for this to happen. There wasn't- there was nothing you could have done."

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Remus, surely there's nothing real other than a casual spoken agreement between Greyback and yourself, correct?" It took Hermione a moment to realize that Dumbledore feared there was some sort of vow or contract.

Remus shook his head. "There's nothing else."

Hermione hadn't realized how nervous Dumbledore looked until now, when the tension seemed to leave him. "Well then. There is nothing Fenrir Greyback can do." He seemed to be speaking for Hermione's sake more than anything else.

"Greyback is a Death Eater," Hermione observed cautiously.

Professor Dumbledore shook his head in the negative. "According to Severus, Mr. Greyback is a lower-level associate of the Death Eaters. Nothing more."

"Voldemort refuses to have Werewolves or other 'half-breeds' in his upper ranks," Remus said, leaning back in his chair and exhaling deeply. Hermione watched the way his chest fell and rose with his breath.

"But he is still dangerous, Miss Granger, and he is still an ally of the Death Eaters."

Hermione felt uncomfortable under Dumbledore's gaze, shifting between Remus and herself.

"She's safe here, though, right?" Remus hopeful tone made Hermione a little less worried about his state.

Professor Dumbledore nodded. "All students and staff are safe at Hogwarts. Miss Granger was already in some danger because of Lucius Malfoy. The involvement of another party will not change anything unless we allow her protection to falter. Which we won't."

Hermione didn't think the statement or the manner in which Dumbledore said it were exceedingly comforting. Remus looked deeply conflicted.

She found that the next words were leaving her mouth before she could stop them. "Draco Malfoy has been following me."

Remus' eyes jerked away from their study of the carpet and focused on her. "What?"

Hermione winced. She hadn't meant for this to come up with Remus around, intending to speak to Dumbledore about it alone. But alas, here it was, out in the open. "I confronted him about it," she continued, meeting Dumbledore's curious gaze, "he said that his father asked him to do it."

"Well," Remus breathed coolly, "she's not so safe at Hogwarts then, huh?"

Dumbledore held up a hand to calm Remus, nodding at Hermione to elaborate.

"I don't think he's that much of a danger, actually. He seemed afraid of getting involved in all of it, and I think I was quite convincing when I told him to stay away from me."

Remus was studying her intently. Dumbledore did the same for a moment before nodding in acceptance. "I will ask Severus to keep an eye on Draco and his father. In the mean time, I think both of you ought to return to your evening routines. It wouldn't do to have suspicions raised with the rest of the students."

Professor Snape had rounded up the students while Hermione and Remus returned to the castle. Rumors of the mysterious and frightening man had spread fast through the children, but luckily Snape was able to quell some of their worries by saying that the man had been an unknown wizard who disappeared shortly after coming upon Professors Snape and Lupin. It would doubtlessly still be the subject of a lot of gossip tomorrow at breakfast. Plus, Hermione would probably have to explain to Harry, Ron, and Ginny why she'd been missing for so long.

She nodded to Dumbledore, understanding that she needed to leave but not wanting to. As awkward and tense as this was, she knew that once she left Remus' presence that now-familiar calming sensation would leave and she would descend into a state of restless anxiety. She was still shaken from her encounter with Greyback, and she knew that she would worry about Remus late into the night.

And so it was established that there would not be much sleep tonight for Hermione Granger.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I hope you all enjoyed. What did we think about Hermione's interaction with Draco? And the whole incident with Greyback? I'm curious to know what everyone thinks. Happy holidays!


	6. You Are Tired (I Think)

**VI**

You Are Tired (I Think)

* * *

><p>Hermione sighed deeply, standing in her bedroom and staring listlessly at the letter in her hands. She glanced over at her bed and frowned. She didn't <em>want<em> to sleep, but the exhaustion was hard to shake.

Crookshanks purred loudly, weaving himself between Hermione's legs as if trying to get her attention so they could both go to sleep. Hermione smiled solemnly down at the half-Kneazle, but remained where she was. Her eyes drifted to the letter again. It was from her mother. She had read it several times since receiving it.

_Dear Hermione,_

_How are you? You haven't written in a while and I was starting to get worried. Is everything all right? Your father keeps telling me that you're just busy studying for those N.E.W.T. exams. I suppose that must be it, right? _

_There's nothing much of consequence back at home. I've decided to take up gardening. Your father and I planted a whole rose garden out back. I'm so excited for the Summer Recess when you can come home and see it. _

_Anyway, how are Harry and Ron? Is everything well with the Weasleys? I hope to hear back from you soon, but your father wants me to let you know that it's okay not to write back if you're too busy studying._

_We love you with all our hearts,_

_Mum and Dad_

Hermione exhaled shakily, finally placing the letter down on her desk and backing away. She felt terribly guilty for not writing to her mum in so long, but she just couldn't bring herself to pretend everything was okay.

"Tomorrow," Hermione said firmly, glancing down at the ginger ball of fur rubbing up against her legs, "I'll write to them tomorrow, Crooks."

Crookshanks purred quietly, pushing at the backs of her legs as if to shove her towards the bed, but Hermione didn't want to sleep. There was too much going on in her head. It had been several days since the incident with Greyback at Hogsmeade, and Hermione hadn't slept much at all since. The problem was that whenever she actually fell asleep – usually because she was too exhausted to go on – she kept reliving everything with Greyback in terrible nightmares. Eventually, the nightmares about Greyback morphed into nightmares about the full moon as well. No matter how hard she tried, the nightmares and restless nights were inescapable.

Hermione turned to the mirror in her bedroom, setting her shoulders in a straight line and making a decision. She was going to see Remus.

It wasn't that late at night, and she knew that he had to be up this late anyway to do his midnight rounds of the school in a couple hours. Maybe he wouldn't mind if she came over to return the books he'd given her. Maybe he'd let her have tea with him as well. Maybe he was feeling just as anxious and sleepless as she was. Maybe he was hoping to be near her again if only just to experience that state of calmness, of tranquil ease. Maybe everything would feel better once she was near him.

It was with these thoughts in mind that Hermione picked up the books he'd loaned her and left her rooms, sneaking through the common room – luckily Evan was in his own room already – and exiting through Artemis' portrait.

"Where are you off to, Granger?" Artemis asked, rather loudly.

"I'm just going to visit someone," Hermione whispered, "I'll be back."

Artemis narrowed his eyes, but nodded. Hermione left quickly then, making her way towards Remus' office.

When she arrived at his door a sudden wave of doubt hit her. Maybe he would think this was strange. Maybe he would just take the books and tell her to go back to bed and deal with her problems on her own. Maybe she'd gotten ahead of herself in thinking that this was okay at all.

_No_. She remembered the way he'd looked at her in class the other day. He'd watched her tragically, as if the guilt he felt was literally crushing him and he wanted so desperately to do something to help her.

Hermione knocked on the door.

It was about forty-five seconds before she could hear the door connecting his quarters to his office open, then another two seconds until the office door in front of her opened. She inhaled deeply as the serenity washed over her.

"Hermione," Remus said, surprised. He didn't look like he'd been asleep, but he was tired just the same.

"Hi," she breathed. "Um- I have your books," she held the leather bound tomes up, internally cringing at her own awkwardness.

"Oh," he smiled pleasantly, "I didn't think you'd finish them so quickly. Thank you." He took the books from her and placed them on his desk before turning back around, examining her. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes. Everything's fine. I just… well…" she fingered the hem of her robes anxiously. Perhaps she ought to just leave now…

"Do you want to come in?" He opened his office door wider, a kind smile on his face.

"Yes," she nodded, "thank you."

She followed him inside, through to his quarters, noting the amount of essays sitting on his desk. It seemed that he'd been grading. Hopefully he didn't mind her interruption.

"Tea?" asked Remus, removing his wand and levitating some mugs over. The door behind Hermione shut quietly.

"Yes please."

She sat down on the couch in front of the crackling fireplace – Remus always seemed to like sitting by a fire – and waited for him. In a few moments Remus was settling in the armchair across from her, handing her a cup of tea and holding his own in the other hand.

"Thank you," she murmured, taking a sip and allowing some of her remaining tension to slip away with the warm, soothing brew.

"Couldn't sleep?"

She met his eyes, surprised that he'd known. But then again, why else would she be here? "Yeah," she sighed, "you too?"

He nodded. "I always have trouble sleeping, though."

She nodded mutely, and for a moment the silence that stretched between them was strange and uncomfortable. Finally, she spoke again. "Those books you gave me were very interesting." She eyed the bookshelves in his rooms as he spoke.

"Really?" he smiled softly, "well I'm afraid I don't have many more on the subject."

She shook her head. "It's fine. I was actually buying another book about potions like the Wolfsbane in Hogsmeade when- well, when Greyback came."

He nodded, his mouth set in a thin line. The incident with Greyback was still a very sore topic, and Hermione wished so badly that it had never happened if only so that he didn't feel so awful about it.

"I was actually wondering if you know anything about the potion. Anything further than what's in those books, that is."

He considered her for a moment, and then shook his head. "I was never very good at potions, and the Wolfsbane is a bit of an enigma to everyone. I always left the potion sorting to Severus. He may know more, actually."

Hermione frowned. She really didn't want to go seeking answers from Professor Snape about this.

"Why do you ask?"

She hadn't planned to divulge her curiosities to Remus, but she supposed that it couldn't hurt. "I was just thinking about how the potion works and if it could be altered. The book you gave me said that the Wolfsbane works primarily through cutting off the wolf's access to most of the brain. If that works, couldn't it be possible for a variation on the potion to cut off the wolf's control of the body as well?"

He'd been looking at the fire before, but now his eyes met hers. His surprise and intrigue was evident, but he didn't speak for a long moment. "That's actually-" he finally muttered, "that's a very interesting theory."

"Do you think it's possible?" She asked, her eyes lighting up. "I mean, at first it seemed rather nonsensical because nobody has ever been able to stop the physical transformation, but I suppose not many people have really considered it."

He hummed in agreement, the furrow in his brow indicating that he was deep in thought. "I think you ought to ask Professor Snape," he said, picking his eyes up and looking at her. "Like I said, I'm not an expert on this, but Severus, on the other hand, knows more than nearly anyone about this."

Hermione didn't like the idea of seeking out Professor Snape for help, but she figured that her curiosity was going to get the better of her eventually and she would be forced to do it. _And maybe talking to Snape won't be that terrible_, a voice in her head whispered, _he has gone easier on me lately._

Snape never yelled at Hermione for raising her hand too much or helping Harry or Ron anymore. He yelled at Harry and Ron more than enough to compensate, of course, but he often acted strange around her, like he didn't know what to do so he decided that he ought to just ignore her altogether.

"I suppose I will talk to him," she nodded, taking another sip of her tea. It was strange how much better she felt than a mere fifteen minutes ago when she'd been in her dormitory, reading the letter from her mum. Being in the proximity of Remus along with the calming tea he'd given her were a heady combination.

Hermione and Remus continued to talk idly about various things, mostly schoolwork and how she was preparing for N.E.W.T.s. It was a long time before Hermione remembered how late it must be. It had been just before curfew when she'd left her rooms, and now it was long past. She knew that she ought to leave, but she hated the idea of going back to the cold, loneliness of her rooms, where anxiety and sleeplessness would surely set in.

Perhaps she could stay here for just a little while longer.

* * *

><p>Remus watched Hermione when she wasn't looking. He noticed the way she seemed to be sinking into the couch, growing tired and languid. He knew that he should have sent her back to her rooms long ago, but it was strangely intoxicating to have her here. Her presence was invigorating but at the same time soothing. He felt tired but alive. He tried to tell himself that this could only be accounted to the fact that she was a werewolf and, as a fellow werewolf, this was his natural reaction.<p>

"You know what's funny?" she mumbled, taking one last sip of her tea, finishing it off.

"Hmm?" Remus looked up, pretending he hadn't been watching her just a second before.

"Your wolf form used to be so menacing to me. Now, after last month's full moon, I just thought you looked like an oversized dog." She chuckled, smiling wryly.

Remus tilted his head to the side and smiled with her. "I can't tell whether you're trying to console or emasculate me."

She lazily waved her hand in the air. "I was just making a observation. Your wolf form is actually quite beautiful, if it makes you feel any better." She was getting really tired now. He knew that she wouldn't be saying these things if she were wide awake.

Remus thought back to the full moon and how she had looked as a wolf. She'd really been quite beautiful as well. His mind quickly moved from this image to another, and as he closed his eyes he could see it clearly in his mind…

_She conjured the Bluebell flames out of thin air. The blue light emitted from her hands and lit up her face, casting shadows and flickering light. He watched, entranced by the way she looked, her wild hair rustling with the wind and her eyes focused on the flames between her palms. The wolf's previous bloodlust was momentarily forgotten while he watched the irresistible sight before him, just wanting to keep his eyes locked on her._

Remus shook the image out of his head, not sure how it got there or where it came from. Was that from that first night in the Forbidden Forest? It must have been. She'd mentioned conjuring fire in an effort to scare him off. It was strange and frightening that the memory had come back to him. Despite scouring his mind for an explanation or an extension of the memory, he couldn't find one.

How strange.

Remus' eyes fell back onto Hermione. She was watching him with a tired yet focused air about her. "Can I ask you about something?" She said, narrowing her eyes.

He nodded. "You can ask me anything, Hermione."

She was blushing. "What happened- _how_ did it happen when Greyback bit you?"

He should have anticipated this question sooner or later. Remus sighed, leaning back into the armchair and setting down his tea.

She began to backtrack. "You don't have to- I don't need to know about it-"

"It's alright," he interrupted her, "I'll tell you about it."

Hermione nodded, falling back into her languid positing on the couch and watching him. Remus took a deep breath. "I was very young. It was Greyback's personal method of revenge against my father, who insulted him. Greyback found me one night on the full moon and bit me. He left me alive intentionally, so that my father would always regret what he did."

She looked more distraught than he'd ever seen her. "That- that's _horrible_."

"I didn't understand it for a long time," Remus explained, feeling an odd need to get these things off his chest. "How do you explain Lycanthropy to a boy who's barely even old enough to read? I didn't have Wolfsbane back then, of course, so I didn't remember what happened after the transformation. But still," he stared off into the fire, "I remember being so confused about what was happening to me, about why my parents looked at me the way they did, spoke to me the way they did."

Her expression was one of awful sadness. "I'm so sorry."

Remus shook his head. "I've grown to accept it over time."

She looked like she wanted to say something in response to this, but she didn't. Remus turned back into the fire, staring at the dancing flames and reliving the curious memory he had of Hermione conjuring the Bluebell Flames in the Forbidden Forest. He didn't realize that he'd been lost in thought for so long until he looked back at Hermione.

She had leaned further into the couch and dozed off. Her deep, even breathing was evidence enough that she had fallen asleep. Remus sighed. He shouldn't have allowed this to happen, but he supposed that it was worth it if they could both get at least one decent night's sleep this week.

It was with confusion over the memory still weighing heavily in his mind that Remus leaned back in the armchair and allowed the tranquility of her presence and the flickering of the fireplace to send him off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Hermione was started awake by a loud whoosh of air and some bright light erupting within her bedroom. She opened her eyes, wincing at a kink in her neck and staring at an unfamiliar ceiling.<p>

This wasn't her bedroom.

"Moony? You in?" A voice that Hermione could distinctly recognize as belonging to Sirius Black bellowed out. She looked towards the fireplace and, sure enough, Sirius Black's face was floating there amid the flames. He appeared to notice her right when she saw him. A confusedly mumbled "Oh," was the only sound that came out of his mouth.

"Sirius," Remus' voice spoke then, alarmed and groggy. He was sitting up in his armchair, running a hand over his face. When he looked over at Hermione his eyes grew wide. There were a few seconds of terrible silence in which Remus' eyes darted between Hermione and Sirius before he finally spoke again. "Uh, Sirius, this isn't a good time. Maybe later?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes, and Hermione knew by that look that he would definitely be inquiring about this situation later. He still nodded in understanding and quickly closed the Floo connection.

"I'm so sorry," Hermione began, sitting up and trying to straighten out her hair and robes. Her face was burning with embarrassment. "I really didn't mean to fall asleep. I just-"

"It's okay, Hermione," he cut her off, holding up a hand to stop her tirade. "Don't worry about it. I can tell Sirius something. I'll come up with an explanation."

She watched him closely. He looked significantly less tired than before, but she could see the worry in the way his mouth was set in a straight line. "You should tell Sirius the truth," she murmured.

"What? No, I don't have to, I can tell him something else," he stood from his chair, retrieving his wand from the coffee table and using it to put out the waning fire.

"No," Hermione spoke again, more firmly this time, "tell him the truth. He'll understand, and I know that he can keep it a secret. He's your best friend and you need to talk to him about this."

Remus was still facing the fireplace, but she could tell that he was uncomfortable by the way his shoulders drew tight with tension. "I should go," Hermione said, standing from the couch and moving towards the door before he could come up with a response. "Thank-you for this, and I'm sorry I fell asleep. You should talk to Sirius about what happened." And with that, Hermione was out the door, quickly and covertly making her way back to her dormitory.

* * *

><p>"Sirius?" Remus called through the Floo, glancing around the interior of Sirius' flat. After a moment, Sirius popped into sight, coming towards Remus quickly and settling in front of the fireplace.<p>

"Is she gone?" Sirius inquired gingerly.

"Ah, yes," Remus gritted his teeth. "Do you want to come through?" Dumbledore had long ago given Sirius the ability to Floo through to Remus' quarters, knowing that the two friends often needed to speak to each other or be in contact, Sirius more so than Remus.

Sirius nodded once, and Remus backed away from the flames, watching them die down for a second before roaring to life again as Sirius stepped through. The ex-convict examined Remus' quarters for a moment before deciding that they were suitably empty. Sirius crossed his arms, looking Remus up and down, "so… do you want to explain that?"

Remus let out a breath he'd been holding. "Yes, but it's a long story. You should sit down."

Sirius obliged, giving his friend a chance to regale him with the long, complicated, and saddening tale of what had happened between himself, Hermione, and Lucius Malfoy.

"Bloody fucking hell, mate," Sirius rasped once the story was finished, running a hand through his long hair and shaking his head. "I can't believe it."

Remus nodded mutely, his eyes fixed on the floor. He'd been terrified of Sirius' reaction before, and to be honest he still didn't know quite what to make of it now.

"Poor Hermione," Sirius murmured. Remus nodded again. "Poor you," Sirius added, a hint of shock in his tone, "I'm so sorry that happened."

Remus picked his head up, surprised by Sirius' complete lack of blame for anyone but Malfoy. "You think it's your fault," Sirius inferred, watching Remus closely.

"Well it sort of has to be, doesn't it?" Remus shrugged, "even though I wasn't myself when it happened, I still did it. She's a werewolf because of me."

"You didn't do it," Sirius said fiercely, "the wolf did. You can't blame yourself for this, Moony; it'll only hurt things in the end. You're not to blame. It's obvious from what you've told me that Hermione believes that, so you should believe it too."

Remus didn't say anything, resigning himself to once again staring off into the fire.

"Look," Sirius began, a firm undertone to his voice, "after James and Lily- after what happened I blamed myself for years. In a way, it _was_ my fault because I was the reason that Peter ended up the Secret Keeper in the first place."

"It wasn't truly your fault, though," Remus said lowly.

"Exactly. Even though it may have been because of my actions I'm not the one to blame for this, Peter is. I still blamed myself for years though. You saw how town apart I was, and you know just as well as I do that my guilt over it got me nowhere." He paused, evidently reliving a painful memory of something. Remus guessed that it was from Azkaban; Sirius was still wrestling many demons from his years in Azkaban.

"The point," Sirius began again, taking a deep breath, "is that my situation was just like yours. Although you may have been a vital instrument in Malfoy's plan, it was still Malfoy who did it. Malfoy is to blame, not you. I can see how much this is tearing you apart and I know from experience that this self-hatred will only stop you from moving on."

"You're right," Remus conceded, "of course you're right, but it's just- it's so hard not to look at her and see what I did." His face contorted into a sort of grimace as he remembered seeing her go through the transformation and the aftermath.

"But you've got to try to look past it, Moony. I know Hermione, and I know that she could never blame you for this, and from what you've told me, she doesn't. The important thing is that you remind yourself that she's alive and that she needs you to support her."

Remus nodded, staring into the fire and repeating the words in his mind. _She's alive and she needs you. She's alive and she needs you. She's alive and she needs you…_

"I have to go," Sirius stood, casting a quick _Tempus_, "but the reason I called was to let you know that the Order meeting's been moved to Friday. Are you going to be okay here?"

"Yeah," Remus uttered, standing up and pulling his friend in a quick hug, "thank you, Padfoot."

Sirius pulled back, placing a hand on each of Remus' shoulders. "It'll be okay in the end. We've survived worse than this. As for Hermione: if anyone can handle this, it's her."

Remus let out a huff of breath, trying to maintain his composure. He finally nodded.

Sirius cracked a broad, youthful grin, patting his friend once more on the shoulder before heading for the fireplace and Flooing out.

Remus found that his mood was significantly better in Sirius' wake. The fact that he and Sirius had been friends for so many years allowed both of them to understand each other on a much deeper level. Sirius knew exactly what Remus needed to hear at times.

With one more deep breath, Remus retreated to his bedroom, ready to prepare for another day.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> So here's the deal: I'm currently on vacation from school and find myself with plenty of free time and a lack of schoolwork. Because of this, I'm looking for a few new things to read. If you want to recommend me to read a fic (whether it's yours or someone else's) or an actual published book, I'd love to check out some new reading material. Totally optional, of course.


	7. All These Scars

**VII**

All These Scars

* * *

><p>Taking one final, deep breath, Hermione raised her hand and knocked on the door in front of her. The door lead to Professor Snape's office, a place that few non-Slytherin students ever dared venture into. The door was slightly ajar, so Hermione assumed that this meant she could poke her head inside. She wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible, after all.<p>

It was only when Hermione cracked the door open a little further that she heard the voices speaking inside. One sounded like the Potions Master himself, but the other… she couldn't quite place it.

"You must deal with it," Snape's sharp, biting voice echoed through the room, "on your own. I can't help you with this, Draco."

Hermione gasped audibly before she could realize what she'd done. Cursing herself inwardly, she took a step away from the door. It was too late, however, because just then the door opened completely, and she was afforded a full view into Professor Snape's office. Snape was standing behind his desk, leaning forward, his hands placed firmly on the desk. His eyes were looking towards where Hermione stood. In the chair in front of the desk sat Draco Malfoy. Hermione couldn't see his face, only his platinum blonde head of hair resting in his hands and the defeated slump of his shoulders. He still hadn't noticed Hermione's presence.

"Granger," Snape drawled, the irritation heavy in his voice, "what are you doing here?"

Just like that, Draco's head snapped up to look at her. He tried to mask his shock with a look of intimidating anger, but the bags under his eyes and his abnormally pale complexion made it hard for Hermione to think of him as intimidating right now.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Hermione murmured, "I can come back later if you-"

"No," Snape cut her off sharply, "Mr. Malfoy was just about to leave." He punctuated his final words with a pointed look at Draco. Hermione couldn't see Draco's face now that he had turned back around, but judging from Snape's changing expression, they were sharing some sort of silent conversation. It was only a few seconds before Draco stood up, grabbing his bag from the floor and pacing towards Hermione, who still stood in the doorway. She moved aside, allowing Draco to pass and watching him closely. Just as he was about to pass her, he met her eyes. The look he gave her held the usual measure of dislike and self-imposed superiority, but a sort of despondent hopelessness weighted it down.

Once Draco was gone, his footsteps echoing down the corridor outside, Hermione realized that it was difficult to hate Draco Malfoy after everything she had experienced in the past few weeks.

"What do you want, Miss Granger?" Snape's voice jerked her out of her thoughts, "Are you just here to kick my Slytherins out and waste my time?"

Hermione wanted to tell Snape that _she_ wasn't the one who'd kicked Draco out, but she held the comment back. She needed to behave respectfully, even if Snape didn't deserve it.

"I was wondering if I could ask you a question about the Wolfsbane."

He wasn't looking at her anymore, his eyes instead inspecting the papers atop his desk. If she hadn't known the professor for all of seven years she might not have been able to see the hint of intrigue beneath his guarded expression. "And what would that question be?" he inquired.

Hermione took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever sort of insults or chiding he was going to throw at her. "I've been researching the potion a lot, and the most information I can find about it is very vague, especially in explaining how the Wolfsbane actually alters the brain and allows the human side to stay in control. I'm sure that there is some active agent in the potion, but it seems that nobody knows what it is."

"And?" Snape crossed his arms.

"I was wondering if you knew anything more. Remus didn't know-"

"Professor Lupin," he corrected.

"Right," Hermione continued, "Professor Lupin didn't know anything about it, but he said that you might. I was just wondering if you could clear this up for me."

He narrowed his eyes, watching her closely. "And why are you suddenly so curious about this?"

Hermione shrugged, "well it pertains to me now much more than it ever did before." She paused, taking a deep breath and hoping that Snape would be receptive to this idea, "I've also been thinking… what if there was a way to modify the potion so that the wolf couldn't take control of the man's body? What if there was some way to obstruct the physical transformation as well as the mental transformation?"

There was a long pause before Snape spoke again, his tone biting and sour. "And you think that _you_ could figure it out? That the great Hermione Granger could come up with a potion to cure Lycanthropy? That is a silly and juvenile dream to entertain, Miss Granger. Do you think that nobody has tried it before? Do you think that there haven't been people who have worked for years studying this subject- people who are much older and more educated than you?"

She frowned, taking a deep breath and stamping down her irritation. "Well yes, I'm sure it's been attempted before, but I don't actually think that it has been given as much attention as I'm willing to give it. People don't care about werewolves. A lot of people could care less if the Wolfsbane was improved. I don't think it's a possible cure for Lycanthropy, because I know that is too broad of a dream for me to believe in. It's just an improvement, and I think that you could help me make it possible."

Snape didn't respond, instead removing his wand from his robes and using it to clear some of the papers off of his desk. Hermione watched him ignore her, tapping her foot on the ground impatiently. She didn't want to make him angry with her, but it was just so hard not to sometimes.

"Do you know anything more about the Wolfsbane?" she finally asked, keeping her voice polite and calm.

Snape looked up at her. "I certainly know more." He paused, a flick of his wand sending a group of rolls of parchment over to one side of his desk with the others. "But there is also a large amount that you ought to learn from other resources before I try to explain anything to you. If I attempted to divulge my understanding of the potion now it would be lost on you."

_We're getting somewhere,_ Hermione told herself, _this is good._

He was silent for a few more moments before speaking again. "You may consult a few of my books on Advanced Potion Theory, and you may want to look into Herbology as well." Just then, a stack of three large, ancient looking books levitated out of a bookshelf behind Professor Snape, stopping directly in front of Hermione and falling into her arms. She let out a grunt at the sudden weight, but managed to stay upright. "You may ask me questions to aid your research, but I will end this little… _project_ of yours if you become bothersome. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," Hermione smiled, "thank you."

"Don't assume that I think this is going to work or that you are capable of such a feat. I'm merely doing this because I know that your insufferable persistence would cause you to haunt me for months about this otherwise. Not to mention Lupin…"

"Of course," Hermione nodded, shifting to support the weight of the books.

"Now," Snape straightened himself before sitting at his desk, a stack of essays neatly arranged for grading beside him. "I don't have any more time for you to waste, and you have a lot of research to do."

"Thank you, Professor," she murmured once more before backing out of the room. Just as she was about to leave, however, she stopped. "Sir?"

He looked up from his grading, a scowl already forming on his face. "What?" he asked angrily.

She swallowed dryly. "You were speaking with Draco about me, weren't you?"

She didn't expect Snape to respond, but surprisingly enough, he nodded. It was only the slightest jerk of his head before he returned to his papers, but it was an affirmation, nonetheless. Hermione left his office, not wanting to give him any more time to take away the books he had given her.

She walked back to her dormitory eager to get started on her research, but thoughts of Draco and his father still weighed heavily on her mind. Was Draco's father going to try to hurt her again? Was he asking Draco to hurt her? For some reason she felt very confident in the fact that Draco would not obey his father willingly with that sort of request. Draco wasn't a murderer. Plus, Dumbledore had asked Snape to keep an eye on Draco, and she'd seen proof of the Potions Master following through on that order just now.

Hermione felt safe from Draco, but how long would it be until Lucius took matters into his own hands?

* * *

><p>In the days after seeing Snape, Hermione started to develop a routine with her time. In the mornings, namely at meals and on the days when she didn't have classes, she would spend her time revising for N.E.W.T.s. In the afternoons, she'd often get her homework done and then spend as much time as possible pouring over the books Snape had given her, along with the one she'd purchased from Tomes and Scrolls and some Herbology texts that Professor Sprout had allowed her to borrow. Her excuse to Professor Sprout, along with Harry, Ron, Ginny, and anyone else who asked was that she was researching for an extra credit project for Professor Snape. She doubted anyone would ask Professor Snape to validate this, but if they did, she suspected that Snape would confirm the lie.<p>

In all of this business Hermione found that she didn't have as much time anymore for the sleepless nights she'd struggled from only a week ago. Soon enough, though, another full moon was coming around, and with it came the restlessness that Hermione had become well acquainted with. During the week leading up to the full moon, Hermione was happy to have Remus invite her to go on more runs with him around the grounds at night. She adored the routine of it, and it was always a great chance to relieve some stress about the impending transformation. Plus, it didn't hurt that she got to spend more time with Remus. Things had been just a little awkward between them after that night she'd fallen asleep in his private quarters, but it abated with time.

Two nights before the full moon, Hermione was called into Dumbledore's office again. There, he informed both Remus and Hermione that the Shrieking Shack was no longer an option for the full moon. Hermione was slightly upset about this — she'd actually sort of liked being there last month — but she understood that if Greyback had been able to infiltrate Hogsmeade once, he could definitely do it again.

Dumbledore therefore decided to send Remus and Hermione off of Hogwarts grounds for the full moon. The idea of leaving the safety of Hogwarts was a little frightening, but surely Dumbledore would take the necessary precautions. Remus had offered up his own house for the transformation. It was apparently a cottage once owned by one of his parents, and he'd lived there on and off over the past several years. Dumbledore liked the idea enough, and after sending a begrudging Snape out there to set up a great variety of wards, the Headmaster decided that it was a suitable place for the transformation.

So it was decided that Remus' cottage would be in use for the night of the full moon. Two evenings later, Hermione found herself meeting Remus and Professor Snape by the front of the school. Snape was to escort them to the house and then back to Hogwarts in the morning. He didn't seem to like the task, but Hermione knew that there was almost nobody Dumbledore trusted more with a task like this than Professor Snape. Despite having her doubts sometime in the past, Hermione had to acknowledge that Snape was also one of the people she trusted most.

The trip to the cottage was uneventful. The trio made their way off of school grounds and then Hermione side-along Apparated with Remus while Snape Apparated on his own. A few seconds later, they stood outside a small, woodsy cottage.

"I'll be back shortly after sunrise," said Snape. With a loud crack not a second later, he was gone.

"He's always pleasant, isn't he?" Remus huffed, starting towards the house. Hermione followed him, feeling the tingling sensation of a magical boundary as they passed through the wards around the place.

The interior of the house was just how one expected it to look from the outside. There was a small living area with a couch and a fireplace. Attached to it was a modest kitchen with an old wood fire stove. There looked to be a single bedroom and a bathroom off of the living room. Despite the house being a bit drafty and smelling of dust, Hermione felt that it was very homely.

"So," Remus sighed, hanging his cloak up on the coat rack, "how do you like it? I know it's not much, but it's better than that bloody shack, right?"

Hermione smiled softly, "It's very nice."

"I'd give you the grand tour, but I don't think we have much time for that." He checked his wristwatch, nodding once before retrieving the robes for them to change into.

It was true; moonrise was not long from now. Hermione changed quickly in the bathroom before sitting down on the couch, her knee bouncing anxiously as she waited. Remus came out from the bedroom a few moments later, sitting beside her and making idle conversation in an obvious attempt to keep her mind off of what was about to happen. It wasn't working very well. The only thoughts in her mind were fearful anticipation of what was going to happen in just a few moments and the occasional thought about how close Remus was sitting. He wasn't sitting outrageously close, mind you. Nearly every person of the male gender who'd gotten close to Hermione over the past few days had distracted her.

Moonrise came in almost the same way it had last time. The only difference now was that Hermione knew what to expect. When the gripping pains and bone splitting transformations started she could assure herself that despite it feeling like literal death, she wasn't going to die. Still, she cried and screamed and tore at her own skin for what felt like hours until her body had fully shifted and the pain abated.

When the transformation was fully finished Hermione found herself once again intrigued by her wolf form. The beginning of the night was very similar to the previous full moon in that Remus proceeded to curl up in a ball and watch as Hermione sniffed every corner of the room. A new environment like this one meant at least a hundred new smells, each of which Hermione had to methodically pick apart. Finally, she curled up on the rug, dozing off to sleep a few feet away from the furry form of Remus.

The morning transformation was worse than the beginning of the night. Hermione woke up to the fur along her spine sticking straight up, anticipating the pain to come. Her howls of agony mingled with Remus', but his were more controlled after years of the experience. When her paws turned into human hands she started to desperately scratch the pain away. Despite knowing that she was just hurting herself, she couldn't stop. She just wanted it to end. She wanted all of it to end.

And then it did.

Hermione was left lying on the ground, breathing heavily and shivering. After hearing a shifting noise coming from a few feet away, she was reminded of Remus. She quickly found her robe and covered herself. While she did so she took a moment to assess her condition. That transformation back from wolf form had been brutal. Her arms and torso were scratched, and when she wiped her hand against a scrape on her cheek it came away slightly bloody.

_Great, you've managed to claw yourself bloody. That'll be brilliant to explain to everyone back at Hogwarts._

Shaking her head as if it would clear her mind of thoughts of school, Hermione sat up and looked at Remus. He was rubbing his face, looking tired despite having slept nearly the whole night. "How are you?" he asked hoarsely, meeting her gaze.

Hermione let out a shaky breath, pushing the resounding pains and aftershocks out of her mind. "That was a bad one," she whispered.

"Agreed," he gritted out, shifting over and leaning up against the front of the couch. Hermione did the same, tipping her head back and taking deep, slow breaths.

"You're bleeding," he observed. She tilted her head and saw him watching her sadly in the same sideways manner. They must have looked like quite a sight: half-dressed, bloody, and too tired to even sit properly on the couch.

She let out a long breath, "I tried to stop myself…"

"But it was a bad one," he echoed her former words.

Hermione nodded. "Why was it worse this month?"

She wasn't looking at him anymore, but she could imagine exactly the way he shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes they're just worse than others. Could be stress, less sleep in the nights leading up to the moon, changes in the brewing of the Wolfsbane, anything really. Another inexplicable part of Lycanthropy, I'm afraid."

Somehow Hermione found it within herself to pull her tired legs up from the ground and hug her legs. She rested her forehead between her knees, taking deep, calming breaths. Remus was quiet while she did so, but she could feel his eyes on her, and she could tell that he wanted to say something.

After a little while she felt his hand slide into hers. His fingers were cold and clammy, but they curled around in a way that made it comforting. Hermione realized that this was the only genuine physical interaction she'd had since before that first night two months ago in the Forbidden Forest. The thought made her chest ache for a moment, and Remus was so close to her that she wanted desperately to curl into his side and take more from this gentle, innocent gesture.

Instead, her hand tightened around his and she continued her deep, even breathing, ignoring the blood on her face from clawing at herself and the near-agonizing fatigue that remained from the transformation.

Remus held her hand the whole time.

Professor Snape showed up about twenty minutes after sunrise. Hermione and Remus had both lost themselves in thought, and were thus surprised to hear the door behind them open and the footsteps of Snape as he strode into the room. Remus untangled his fingers from hers and jumped to his feet, muttering about how they'd lost track of time and he needed to change back into his clothes. Knowing that the damage had already been done and it would doubtlessly be awkward anyway now, Hermione turned and offered Snape her best "hello" before fixing her robe and proceeding to the bathroom to change.

The trip back to Hogwarts was silent and slow. Snape didn't speak, only letting out irritating huffs of breath when either Hermione or Remus had to stop and rest. Eventually, they made it to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey immediately started fussing over the pair of them, and it was at that point that Hermione decided she didn't care about her friends or Evan getting suspicious. She was going to be sick for today. She was going to spend the whole day sleeping in the Hospital Wing and taking whatever potions Pomfrey gave her and not caring one bit.

Remus apparently had things to do, because he left not long after Madam Pomfrey had finished with him. On his way out he sent Hermione a warm, albeit slightly awkward, smile. "Remember that it won't always be that bad," he murmured, nodding once more before exiting.

After he was gone Hermione realized something: throughout the whole of the past week she'd only seen a few short flickers of Remus' guilt and shame. She knew it must have been Sirius' doing, because before she'd told Remus to speak to Sirius about it practically all of their interactions had been filled with guilty, mournful looks on his part.

Sirius had done some good, and that was one thing Hermione could be happy for.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Happy 2015, everyone! I hope everyone had a wonderful, safe, and happy New Years. I received a ton of great recommendations and got to spend a lot of time reading over the past several days. I had no clue there were so many great authors reading this! If you don't mind, I'm going to spend a minute here telling you all what wonderful writers we have in our midst: I read and enjoyed The Keeper's Lament by apriljunemay, I Want You To Be My Acrobat by gypsyfurface, and The Debt of Time by Shealone over these past few days. I'm sure most of you have probably already stumbled across The Debt of Time because it's epic with nearly 1000 reviews and over 300,000 words, but you should definitely read that if you haven't yet. Also, some other amazing authors who I'm so happy are reading this: NeonDomino with her plethora of wonderful Hermione/Remus and Wolfstar fics, and LR Earl with Sacrifice, her amazingly angsty and beautiful Hermione/Remus fic.

Okay, I hope you don't hate me for rambling on like that. I usually try to keep my notes short, but oh well…

Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Also, some of you will probably be happy to know that part one of this fic is officially finished, now waiting to be posted. Part one is 16 chapters long, topping off at a little over 75,000 words. I've now moved on to the writing of part two, and it's already a blast. I can't wait for you guys to see what I have in store.


	8. Reckless Abandon

**VIII**

Reckless Abandon

* * *

><p>"Alright, let's split into pairs and do some practical work," Remus announced, standing at the head of the classroom and motioning for everyone to get up from their desks.<p>

Hermione looked over at Harry. He was watching her expectantly, asking if they would be partners. She nodded her silent agreement.

Once all the students were out of their seats Remus waved his wand and the desks flew to the edges of the classroom. Within seconds all the partners stood facing off against one another.

Hermione and Harry were beside Ron and Lavender. Hermione ignored Lavender's whine about how she hoped Ron wouldn't use any harsh spells on her. Instead, she busied herself with making sure the sleeves of her jumper and robes were pulled down over the scars that still remained from the full moon. After she was finished she focused back on Harry.

"Do you want to go first or should I?" Harry asked.

"I will," she answered, taking one of the blindfolds Remus had distributed to each pair and putting it on. After readying her wand, she told Harry to begin.

All the pairs were to have one partner wear the blindfold while the other silenced their footsteps and moved around their partner, casting weak hexes at them from different locations. The blinded partner was to use a Heartbeat Locating spell to find their partner's location and then disarm them. Hermione knew that she didn't need the Heartbeat Locating spell– the full moon had been two days ago and she still had sublime hearing.

She allowed Harry to hit her once with a shocking spell before she whipped around and disarmed him. His wand flew into her left hand and she took her blindfold off, finding Harry shaking his head at her. "I don't know how you got so good at Defense Against the Dark Arts, Hermione."

"I've just been working very hard lately," she offered, handing him the blindfold.

"Speaking of that," Harry lowered his voice, "do you feel better? Ginny's worried that you're overworking yourself and that's why you've been sick so often lately."

"That might be it," she conceded, her voice just a little shrill, "but don't worry, Harry. N.E.W.T.s aren't far off, then I'll be able to rest."

He gave her a wary nod before shifting the blindfold over his eyes and readying his wand. Hermione's eyes drifted to where Remus stood at the front of the classroom. He was watching her, and she knew that he'd overheard the conversation. Before she had much time to decipher his expression, he was being called away by Astoria Greengrass. Astoria asked him a question, and soon he was doing a demonstration for her and her partner, Draco Malfoy.

Draco stood with his arms crossed, the usual snobbish look on his face as he watched Remus put on the blindfold and allow Astoria to attempt to hex him. Hermione's focus was drawn back to Remus. She examined the way his smile formed when he determined Astoria's location and the way his body shifted as he cast the disarming spell.

"Hermione?" Harry called out, "are you ready."

"Oh," she jumped, "of course." She proceeded to muffle her footsteps and begin to move around and cast spells at Harry. It wasn't long before he successfully located and disarmed her.

When DADA ended Hermione was pulled out of the classroom alongside Harry. Her thoughts strayed to Remus several times over the next few hours.

* * *

><p>The next afternoon Hermione decided to make the trek to Remus' quarters once again. She knew that it probably wasn't the smartest thing for her to be doing, considering what would happen if someone saw her, but she was more desperate for his company more than ever. She arrived at his quarters only a little before curfew and he seemed pleased enough to see her. They were both still recovering from an abnormally bad full moon and any moments in each other's presence were gratefully accepted.<p>

Hermione and Remus spent that evening drinking tea and discussing Hermione's progress with Snape and her research on the Wolfsbane. Remus was so intrigued by everything that he asked her to come to his quarters the next night and bring the books Professor Snape and Professor Sprout had given her. Hermione was happy to oblige and ecstatic to have another reason to come to his rooms. Together, they went through nearly everything she'd learned so far.

There had been a wealth of knowledge to garner from the books Snape had given her, and Hermione loved explaining everything to Remus and watching him as he read through specific passages that she figured were important. So far the books hadn't proved any of her theories wrong, but nor had they proved that it would be possible to alter the Wolfsbane in such a way. Still, Hermione felt like she was coming closer to something important, and the sooner she learned everything she could from these books the sooner she could speak to Snape about this.

Despite spending hours on end in Remus' rooms at night, Hermione was careful not to fall asleep there. Thus, each evening when she started to grow too drowsy to continue — this usually happened sometime before midnight — she would say goodbye and sneak through the castle back to her rooms.

There were a few problems with this routine, one of them being the fact that Evan seemed to be getting suspicious. One night Hermione came back through the portrait a little after midnight to find him studying in front of the fireplace. She winced upon seeing him, knowing that her streak of going unnoticed so far had been broken. He didn't say anything, but his intrigued expression was enough to tell her that he would remember this. Evan was exceedingly polite and would likely never ask her why she was staying out so late, but she would still rather him not be suspicious about it. Hermione breathed a polite "hello" before rushing up to her room and out of his sight.

Another problem — well, not so much a problem as just an awkward instance — was the one fateful night when Hermione came to Remus' rooms to find that Sirius was already there, lounging on the couch she usually sat on and talking to his friend.

"I can come back another time," she murmured upon entering the room, ready to back out and sprint back to her dormitory.

"Nonsense," Sirius barked, a cheeky grin on his face, "come sit with us, Hermione." He patted the space next to him on the couch while smiling genially at Remus.

Hermione awkwardly entered the room, sitting down on the couch beside Sirius and taking the cup of tea Remus immediately offered her. Remus looked mildly uncomfortable, but he still smiled at her just the same when she took the tea. Hermione smiled back, stamping down the blush that was forming on her cheeks. Sirius noticed, and Hermione caught the mischievous glint in his eye.

The three of them chatted for a while; mostly about Harry and the upcoming Quidditch final that Gryffindor was set to play in. Sirius loved talking about Harry, and he hated that Dumbledore didn't let him see his Godson more often. Hermione understood why Dumbledore did this; it would be too risky for Sirius Black to be spotted around the Gryffindor Tower or around the castle in general. Sirius had been cleared of all charges a long time ago, but many people were still suspicious of him and generally uncomfortable to see the ex-convict out in public.

Hermione ended up leaving to do her rotation on the post-curfew rounds a little while before midnight. "Thanks for the tea, Remus," she said, offering her best smile, "I'll see you in class tomorrow."

Remus nodded, an amused grin on his face. She'd realized that he had the tendency to act more cheerful and happy in the presence of Sirius. It was almost like Sirius made him younger, more carefree and lighthearted. It was a welcomed change, to say the least.

"Bye, love," Sirius chimed, winking at her in a way that she was sure had women falling all over him when he was younger.

"Bye, Sirius," she replied, turning away and leaving before they could see her blush.

The run-in with Sirius didn't happen again, as it seemed that Sirius didn't want to intrude on Remus and Hermione's time together. According to Remus, the Animagus stuck to calling in the morning or early afternoons. Hermione was half-thankful to not have the a repeat-experience, but at the same time she wanted it to happen again, if only to see Remus in one of the good moods that Sirius's company inspired.

Hermione's routine of her occasional visits to Remus' rooms persisted for a few weeks without interruption or serious issue. She'd decided not long after the visits started that she would be grateful for however long they lasted.

* * *

><p>The month passed uneventfully except for one very interesting incident about a week before the full moon. Hermione had just left her Ancient Runes class and stopped into the Prefect's Bathroom on her way to lunch. She was both surprised and intrigued to find Draco Malfoy in said bathroom, pacing the floor and wearing a murderous expression. He turned towards her sharply upon hearing the door open, and the intensity of his glare was enough to make Hermione take a step backwards in surprise.<p>

"Oh great," Malfoy sneered, "it's you. Come to fuck up my life again?"

"I see you're not in a very good mood," she replied coolly.

He scowled. "I thought you wanted me to stay away from you."

She crossed her arms. Before a few weeks ago Hermione hadn't cared much at all about what was going on with Draco, but she knew that he was going through a trying time. She wanted to try and keep Draco away from his father's path. The same girl who'd founded S.P.E.W. and fought desperately for House Elf Welfare when she was younger felt the inexorable need to help him now. "Did something happen, Draco?"

"Why do you care?" He growled, stalking forward so he was only a few feet away, "you're just the person who ruined my bloody life."

"_I_ ruined _your_ life?" Her temper was flaring up. "Do you even know what your father tried to do to me?"

"Well you survived, didn't you?" His tone was stubborn and desperate, "My father failed and now my family is ruined. My _life_ is ruined." It that moment he sounded more like a petulant child than Hermione had ever thought possible.

"And you think I should have died? You think I should have _died_ to save your precious father?" Hermione stepped closer to Draco, putting on her best menacing expression. "You don't know half of what happened that night."

Draco stepped back, examining Hermione closely. For a minute she thought that maybe she had given away too much. Surely he didn't know what had truly happened, right? The only way Draco could know about Remus infecting her was if Lucius knew, and according to Snape, Lucius didn't. The Death Eater simply thought that he had failed outright.

Draco took a deep breath, staring at the ground for several seconds in an obvious attempt to master himself. He finally picked his head up, looking at Hermione with an expression that one normally wouldn't describe as open or vulnerable, but to Hermione it was the most vulnerable thing she'd ever seen from him. "You should be careful," he muttered, "the Dark Lord is getting impatient. My father hasn't informed him of his failure yet, but it will come to light eventually."

The way Draco said "the Dark Lord" made Hermione's skin prickle. He spoke like a Death Eater. Unwillingly, her eyes darted down to his forearm. His robes covered it, so she couldn't see any evidence of a dark mark. Draco caught her looking and stood up taller, turning his arm inward. "You have no business in my life, Granger."

Hermione lifted her gaze to his face. "I want to help you, Draco," she said, "I know that you don't want to be involved in what your father is doing and I know that you don't want my help, but there are people who will help you."

He turned away from her, striding across the bathroom to one of the sinks and turning on the faucet. Hermione watched as he washed his hands methodically and stiffly. When he finished, he turned to pick up his book bag and moved back towards Hermione, passing her by and opening the door to the corridor. Before he disappeared behind the door he turned his head towards her, his gaze still lingering on the floor. "I won't help my father," he murmured, "Just- please don't tell anyone about this."

Hermione restrained her triumphant grin. It appeared that she had gotten through to Draco. Of course, she still had to be wary of him; trusting a Malfoy would be unwise.

Draco left, the noise of the portrait shutting echoing through the bathroom. Hermione stood there for a long moment, thinking hard about what had just happened. Finally, she put on a neutral expression and left the bathroom for the Great Hall.

* * *

><p>The next full moon came with a lack of restlessness for Hermione, but it seemed that all of the other symptoms were intensified tenfold in its place. On the morning of the full moon she could barely even walk into the Great Hall with all of the scents and noises being so magnified. In Potions Class she started to feel like she was going to throw up while adding some particularly pungent ingredients to the Pepper-Up Potion she was making. Her experience in Potions was nothing compared to having to drink the Wolfsbane Potion that evening. She didn't even go to dinner because she felt so nauseous after.<p>

And then there was the sex drive. While it hadn't been as potent last month, it now seemed to come back with enough power to make up for the lack. Hermione was a tightly wound coil of tension all day. When she and Remus were left alone in his cottage that evening it only got worse.

Snape had just departed, the crack of his Apparition heard acutely by the resident werewolves. Hermione tried to look at anything but Remus, knowing that it wasn't long now until the moon rose and she would be distracted by the transformation.

"Here," Remus said, offering her the dressing gown she'd left at the Cottage last time. His voice was more gruff than usual, and for a second she wondered if he was experiencing the same symptoms as her.

Taking a deep breath and ignoring the whiff of Remus' calming scent that came with it, Hermione looked up at him, taking the robe from his outstretched hand. Her fingers brushed against the inside of his wrist ever so slightly. She swallowed dryly, the back of her throat feeling tight and constricted.

His eyes bore into hers, and she couldn't resist shifting under his gaze. Moonrise was minutes away and all her senses were running wild. She could feel his proximity more intensely than anything else. When had she become so receptive to Remus? Well, she'd been facing feelings towards him for a while now, but it hadn't ever been like this.

Her eyes dropped to his lips for a fraction of a second. He caught her looking and appeared mildly surprised. She dropped his gaze, a blush rising in her cheeks that she just couldn't stamp down.

_You're not yourself right now, Hermione._

The reassurance did little to help her restraint, because a moment later she was stepping forward, getting up on her toes, and pressing her lips against his. She didn't even realize what she was doing until her body had committed itself entirely.

Remus responded instantly, his arms coming to wrap around her waist, his lips moving fast and forcefully against hers. If she hadn't had proof of him feeling the increased sex drive before, this was proof enough. Hermione rested one hand on his shoulder, the other wrapping around the back of his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair. She kissed him back with the same enthusiasm. That seemed to inspire something in him, and he quickly pulled her against him, turning around and pressing her against the wall. Hermione gasped at the weight he put into the movement combined with the feeling of being so close between Remus and the wall.

Her gasp seemed to jolt some sense into him. Remus detached his mouth from hers, pulling back and meeting her eyes with a look of terrified realization. He dropped his hands from her waist like he'd been burned. "_Fuck_," he whispered, his expression soon turning to one of horror. The man staggered backwards, his hand coming up to his forehead. Hermione hadn't remembered ever hearing him curse like this. She cringed.

"That shouldn't have happened, Hermione." He'd turned away and she could no longer see his face, but she suspected that he wore the same pained expression his voice was projecting.

She tried to look for words, but she didn't know what to say. Whatever had just happened had either been a terrible, dreadful mistake, or the most wonderful sensation in the world; she couldn't decide. The only thing she was sure of was the fact that she'd just kissed her professor.

_And he kissed me back._

Suddenly, there wasn't time to say or think anything else. The transformation was coming on. Hermione let out a groan as the first pains began to rip through her body. Remus staggered further away. It was seconds before Hermione was falling to the ground, trying to restrain her screams of pain. The transformation stretched on forever.

When the pain ended Hermione found herself faced with a very guilty looking wolf. Remus watched her with his deep amber eyes for a long moment before turning away and curling up on the carpet just as he always did. The only difference was that this time his eyes didn't follow her as she paced back and forth around the room. In fact, he barely looked at her once for the rest of the night. Hermione ultimately settled in on top of the couch, curling up in a ball and trying to force herself to get some sleep.

Little sleep came.

After another excruciating transformation in the morning, Hermione ended up lying nude on the couch, her hand groping for the nearest blanket. Once she found it she wrapped it around herself, curling into a ball on the couch and opening her eyes. Remus was sitting up on the ground facing away from her, another blanket draped over his back and his hands rubbing at his face.

Her eyes didn't leave his form. "I'm sorry I kissed you," she whispered hoarsely.

He turned around, his expression no longer one of anger or fear. It was only sadness.

"It was just the full moon and — well I'm sure you know how it is," she tried to explain, sitting up and fingering the edges of her blanket.

He nodded. "I know how it is." She trained her eyes on the carpet, listening to the noise of him shifting closer to her. Eventually he was directly next to the couch. She met his eyes, and he offered her a sad smile. "I'm your teacher, Hermione," he intoned. "Things like this can't happen while I'm your teacher."

She felt the pang of this rejection sharply in her chest. For a moment she didn't think she could ever bear to look at him again. After all Remus had done to try and help her through the lycanthropy, she repaid it by _kissing him_? He'd only wanted to offer her companionship and comfort, and she'd taken advantage of him.

A separate, less-conscious part of mind jumped at the words "_while_ I'm your teacher." Did he intend to say that this would be okay once she was no longer his student? Hermione truly didn't know. She sat there for a long moment, before deciding to do the Gryffindor thing and throw caution to the wind.

"Well," she sighed, getting up and grabbing her torn up clothes from the ground, "I _do_ graduate in less than two months." Before he could respond she slipped into the bathroom to change. By the time she was out again, Professor Snape had arrived with a pair of Pepper-Up Potions and a foul mood. Hermione didn't chance a look at Remus on the way out.

_But,_ a voice in her head whispered, _it's not like you can resist him forever._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I know that many of you have been waiting for a scene like this. What did you think? Any predictions on what's going to happen next?


	9. Bereft

**IX**

Bereft

* * *

><p>Remus lifted his gaze from the floor when the fireplace glowed a bright green. Without barely a moment's warning, a head of shaggy black hair appeared in the fireplace, it's body arriving not a second later. Sirius Black stood in front of Remus, hands on his hips as he examined the room and the man sitting on the couch.<p>

"No offense, Moony," Sirius began, plopping gracefully onto the armchair across from him, "but you look like shit."

"Thanks," Remus grumbled, rubbing his face and noting that he desperately needed to shave.

"Was the full moon that bad this month?" Sirius took on a more concerned tone. "Damn. I wish Dumbledore would let me come with you."

"No," Remus shook his head, still letting it rest in his hands, "it's not the full moon. At least that's not the only thing."

"What?" Sirius shifted forward, "did something happen?"

Remus let out a long, drawn out sigh. "I don't know, Padfoot," he sat up straighter, finally making eye contact with his friend, "actually, yes. Something did happen."

"And?" Sirius goaded him on. After Remus didn't give any response the Animagus let out a barking laugh. "Is it really that bad that you can't tell me? For fuck's sake, Remus, what happened?"

Remus closed his eyes tightly.

"Is it something to do with Hermione?"

"Yes."

"Moony…" Sirius began, a worried and slightly irritated inflection to his voice.

Remus brought a hand up to his forehead, rubbing his temple. "She kissed me," he mumbled at last, a hateful frown on his face, "and I kissed her back."

Sirius' eyebrows must have risen to his hairline. After a moment of silence, he fell back against the couch like he'd been shot dead right there. Remus couldn't bear to look at the man, so he focused on his shoes.

It was a long time before Sirius spoke, but when he did it was with a very out-of-place tone. "Well," the Animagus chuckled, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but… my, my, my, look how the tables have turned."

It was not a good day to provoke a werewolf, as Sirius soon learned when a mug full of scalding tea was chucked at his head. Lucky for Sirius, his reflexes were superb, and he ducked just in time, the mug shattering on the wall behind him.

"Holy fuck, Moony," Sirius breathed, holding his hands up in surrender, "it was a joke, bloody calm down!"

Remus was standing tall in front of the couch, his chest heaving and his eyes blazing. After a long pause he fell back onto the couch with a loud thump. "I'm sorry," he moaned after a moment, "it's just- I don't like comparing this to how you used to be."

Sirius' reference had been to how when they were young men he'd always hit on the girls who were at least a few years younger than him. Sirius, at the age of twenty, dated at least three girls who were barely eighteen. Although it hadn't been a very significant age difference at all, Remus always reprimanded Sirius for not trying to get a mature girl his own age.

It was true; the tables had turned.

Remus groaned.

"Look, mate," Sirius began, sitting in his chair once more and leaning forward, "I know you very well, and I've known you long enough to be able to tell when you fancy someone."

Remus groaned again. "No offense, Sirius, but that is _not_ what I want to hear right now."

"Calm down, I'm getting there," Sirius chided, crossing his legs and whispering a quiet comment about "impatient, hormonal werewolves."

Remus was sure that the splitting headache he had could not get any worse. All he could bloody do was remember Hermione kissing him and remember kissing _her_ back.

"I get why you're so torn up about this, Moony," Sirius began again, "to be fair, it does sound bad at first. But really – when I think about it – this makes more sense than just about anything I've ever known."

Remus stared at his friend for a long moment, not knowing quite how to react to this.

"She's legal," Sirius said, standing up from the couch and pacing the room, "and from what I've seen, she seems to understand you more than just about any living woman on the planet. You understand her, too." He turned to look at Remus, his expression unusually candid. "If you ask me, the two of you deserve each other."

"She's still my student, Sirius," Remus muttered blankly. While he appreciated hearing these words from his friend, they were not helping with the biggest problem he had right now.

Sirius shrugged. "That ends in… what? Two months?"

Remus nodded, remembering the final words Hermione had spoken to him that very morning. _She graduates in two months._

"You've just got to hold back for a little while, Remus. Did you set her straight?"

"I tried to," Remus croaked out, remembering the slight hint of a crestfallen expression he'd received after speaking to her in the morning.

"Just don't hurt her," Sirius shook his head in thought, "Merlin knows Harry would probably kill you. Then Ron, then Molly, then Arthur, then just about every other Weasley, then-"

"Enough," Remus cut his friend off with a pointed look.

"Okay, what I'm trying to say is that you've got to keep your distance, but don't pull away too much. She still needs your help."

Sirius was in a surprisingly rational mood. Perhaps it was the shattered mug that had put him into such a receptive state of mind.

"And if Albus finds out?" Remus mumbled, a sour expression on his face.

"Dumbledore can't do shit about it. He needs you here at Hogwarts, so it's not like he can fire you. Besides, only sex or sexual relationships between a teacher and student are forbidden. You didn't have sex with her, nor are you in a relationship." Sirius crossed his arms, "don't worry, mate, if it comes to a duel, I'll back you up. Then you and Hermione can run off to another country or something. Maybe Spain. Everyone runs off to Spain. Then they'll write a book about you one day: _Werewolf Lovers in Spain._"

"Don't make me throw something else at you, Sirius," Remus growled warningly.

"Okay, okay," Sirius said placatingly, "I'm just trying to show you that it's honestly not as dramatic as you're making it out to be. Don't worry, Moony, soon things will go back to normal. Hermione knows that she wasn't supposed to kiss you, and she won't do it again. It'll be fine."

Remus had always thought Sirius had a much too relaxed view of life and it's consequences. Sirius, on the other hand, had always thought Remus had a much too uptight view. At this moment, Remus almost wished he could trade with Sirius, if only to not undergo this inner turmoil any longer.

"Alright," Sirius sighed, "I can see that my efforts at consoling you aren't getting me anywhere." The Animagus stood and started towards the Floo, "I'll be right back with the Firewhisky. Meanwhile, you can clean up the mess from that little temper tantrum." Sirius said these final words with a pointed finger at the shattered remains of the mug, spilled tea coating the floor and walls around it. Before Remus could say or do anything else, Sirius disappeared into the flames.

His shoulders hunched and his hand rubbing his forehead, Remus sat in contemplative silence. He didn't have any classes tomorrow morning, and alcohol _did_ sometimes help with the recovery after a full moon.

_Yes_, Remus decided, _I can get drunk tonight_.

* * *

><p>The Gryffindor Common Room buzzed with chatter as most of the resident Gryffindors settled in for the evening. Hermione sat beside Harry and Ginny on the couch in front of the fireplace. It had long ago become labeled "their couch" and most of the other students stayed away from the area when it came to about this time in the evening.<p>

Harry and Ron were excitedly talking about Quidditch. Apparently, the upcoming final against Hufflepuff was looking to be an easy win. "Matthews says that Summerby shattered his hand," Ron buzzed, an excited grin on his face. "Even with everything Madam Pomfrey could do he's not back to the usual standards."

Harry nodded in contemplation.

"Don't you see what this means, mate?" Ron cheered, "their Seeker will be in no shape to catch the snitch at the final. We'll win for sure!"

"The final is still a long way away, Ron," Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

"It's good news anyway," Ron huffed, settling back into his chair.

Harry and Ron continued discussing strategy while Ginny turned to Hermione. "It's good to have you back here," she murmured quietly, "I've been starting to get really sick of having nothing but boys for company."

Hermione smiled, watching the fire absently. It reminded her of the fire in Remus' rooms. She doubted she would be able to visit him again after what happened. "Well," she sighed, realizing that she'd gone too long without responding to Ginny, "you know how it is with these N.E.W.T.s. I just wish the boys would join me for revising…"

"They will eventually," Ginny glanced over at the pair of them. Ron had enchanted his Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans to float in the air. It was a strange formation that Hermione assumed was supposed to represent the players on a Quidditch pitch.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Ginny asked, "You still look a little pale."

Hermione glanced at her friend, trying to plaster on her best "Nothing's Wrong" smile. "I think I've had a rotten couple of months in terms of my immune system. It's nothing serious, I'm sure."

Ginny's worried look didn't completely die out, but she focused her attention on other things. Hermione let out a small breath. It was really getting hard to hide the whole Werewolf thing. She was starting to wonder if there was really even a point in hiding it at all anymore. Before she'd not wanted Harry, Ron, and Ginny to know because she knew Remus would feel ostracized by them and she'd been especially worried about how Ron would react. Plus, there had been the question over what would happen if either Ron or Ginny let it slip to their Mum or one of their other family members. She knew that they were both capable of keeping a secret like this, but the Weasley family was a different kind, and she'd experienced many instances of secrets getting out very easily when the family was together.

Hermione wondered whether these were valid reasons to keep it a secret anymore. Everyone had to find out eventually, and Remus' feelings of guilt weren't a huge concerning factor since he'd spoken to Sirius. In reality, it would be much wiser to tell them about her Lycanthropy as soon as possible, but Hermione just couldn't. She knew that they would all be outraged with her for keeping it so long, but she couldn't think of a time that would be right to tell them. When and under what circumstances do you tell your closest friends that you were captured by their arch-enemy's father and brought into the Forbidden Forest with their Werewolf DADA Professor only to be infected by said Professor when the assassination attempt fell through?

"You know," Ginny hummed in thought, eyeing Hermione closely, "there's something else that looks different about you…"

"There is?" Hermione feigned ignorance, looking down at herself and shrugging.

"I don't know…" Ginny looked Hermione up and down. "Have you been eating differently or something? Maybe it's that."

_Yes, I have most definitely been eating differently. Along with running several times a month for hours on end and transforming into a werewolf every few weeks._

Hermione kept these thoughts inside her mind. "I suppose it's the sickness. It's made it harder to eat some foods without getting nauseous." It was half true; the increased sense of smell around the full moon deterred her from a few of the more pungent food options Hogwarts had to offer.

Although she pretended not to know what Ginny was talking about, Hermione knew exactly what the girl meant. Only a few nights ago after getting out of the bath she'd caught a quick glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirror and had to do a double take. Her body had transformed noticeably in the past few months. The remaining scarring on her shoulder and the bite mark on her lower calf were one thing, but the change in her body shape was something else entirely. She was leaner and more muscular now. It was easy to tell why Remus had the body type he did after so many years of this lifestyle.

"Well, you look good," Ginny observed, leaning back and joining in on Harry and Ron's conversation, which had now moved to talk about how excited Harry was that Sirius had promised to come to the Quidditch final and then sneak into the castle to spend some time with Harry afterwards.

Hermione had trouble rejoining the conversation; her thoughts strayed on that encounter with her reflection in the mirror a few days ago. She'd stared at herself for nearly half an hour, trying to become accustomed to the changes that she'd failed to notice so far. Eventually, her eyes traveled to the scars. Her shoulder was healed, but it had left behind several raised white lines of scar tissue in its wake. The bite mark on her leg was pretty much the same story. Hermione knew it would never heal, but she still wished it would. She wished that it could go away not for her own sake, but because she wanted Remus to see that the damage he'd done was healed.

Thoughts of Remus brought her, as they always did, to the memory of their kiss. She picked up her hand, her fingertips brushing against her lips absently as she remembered the feeling of his fervent kissing. It was a blissful memory, but it also made Hermione quite disconsolate. Remus had been more distant than ever since the kiss. The guilt over what they had done obviously weighed heavily on him, as did every other bloody thing associated with her. She wondered if their relationship could recover from this. Hermione regretted allowing herself to lose control and kiss him in the first place, and knowing Remus, he probably regretted it too.

_Maybe we just need to pretend it never happened. Just forget about it._

Her mind decided that this was a good enough plan for now, so Hermione pushed thoughts of Remus out of her mind and rejoined the conversation with her friends.

* * *

><p>Hermione's research into the Wolfsbane had moved onto a new stage and she felt that she had learned all she could from the books Snape had given her. They had some very intriguing theories about the anatomy of the brain and how some other potions had an effect specifically on the frontal lobe. None of the research so far had disagreed with anything Hermione theorized about the potion, and she hoped that this meant her initial plan wasn't too far-fetched.<p>

On the weekend that Hermione finished the last of Professor Snape's books, she decided that it was time to go to him again. So, on that Sunday morning she made the trek to his office, her bag magically lightened to decrease the daunting weight of the books. In her mind was a delicate and meticulously thought-out plan of what she was going to say to Professor Snape.

Luckily, Draco Malfoy was not in his office this time. Hermione entered after knocking a couple times, approached his desk, and retrieved the books from her bag. "I finished them, sir."

Snape looked up from a strange book he'd been reading, evidently intrigued. With a flick of his wand the books were floating from her hands and back to the shelves. "And how did you find them?" he asked neutrally.

"They were actually very interesting. I think most of the theories agree with mine."

"So you still believe this is possible?" She couldn't tell if his tone was one of mild amusement or bland indifference.

She shrugged. "I don't know for sure, but I was hoping to take my research further and find out. That's half the reason I'm here, actually." She took a deep breath, preparing for him to reject her, "I wondered if it would be possible for me to use the lab in your classroom to test some theories out. I promise that I won't be a bother, and I'd only use it for a few hours after classes are over."

He didn't say anything for a long moment. "You do realize that I would be required to supervise you? Students are not allowed to brew in my dungeons without supervision."

"I know," she started playing with the hem of her shirtsleeve, "but I'm hardly the kind of student that needs supervision. You wouldn't necessarily have to be in the classroom watching me. If you were in here," she gestured to his office, "or somewhere else nearby I'm sure that I could find you if I needed help."

His expression was something of a frown, but his words came out much kinder than she'd expected. "You may use the classroom," he intoned, "but only after classes are out for the day and only so long as you use all your own ingredients and supplies to brew. If you need ingredients specific to the Wolfsbane potion you may ask me for them, but I reserve the right to reject your request."

Hermione beamed, "Of course, Professor, thank you so much." She felt like she could hug him, but, knowing Professor Snape, that was probably a terrible idea.

He held up a hand to stop her from any more celebration, "I would like to inform you that I am doing this not because I believe this theory is any stronger now than I did before, but merely because I know that your insight into a werewolf's condition might aid you to actually make some sort of advancement. If you don't, and this whole theory fails, perhaps it will lower your overbearing Gryffindor pride to the level of a normal person."

His words were biting, but she could see the true meaning behind them; he _believed_ in her. She knew she was reading too far into it, but it sounded a lot like Professor Snape was saying that out of all the people who could set out on this sort of project, he believed that she was one of the few who could come out with results. Even if that wasn't what he meant, she would take his snarky attitude any day if only to get the chance to test out her theories and work in a proper lab.

"Thank you, sir, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this opportunity."

He waved his hand, "I have work to do, Miss Granger. You may begin your research on Monday afternoon."

She nodded once more, backing out of the office and nearly leaping for joy once she was in the empty dungeon corridor.

* * *

><p>"Hermione."<p>

"…Hermione!_"_

Hermione picked her head up from the parchment that she was furiously scrawling notes on, looking at Harry with irritation. "What_?_" she whispered, chancing a quick glance at Remus to make sure he wasn't looking their way. Remus was deeply engaged in the lecture he was giving to the class.

He leaned closer, his eyes traveling across the room to where most of the Slytherins sat. "Look at Malfoy."

Hermione did so begrudgingly. Draco sat at a table alone. Most of his friends sat in the rows in front of him. Even Blaise Zabini, whom he'd usually sat next to in all classes before, was now sitting with Pansy Parkinson. She wondered why Zabini would not want to sit with Draco anymore, but then she realized that she probably knew why.

"He looks sick, right?" Harry asked, still whispering. "Do you think something's happened?"

Harry was right. Draco looked pale and exhausted, like he could barely keep up with Remus' lecture. Defense Against the Dark Arts had never been a difficult class for Draco so that was strange enough on it's own.

"It's probably none of our business, Harry,_"_ she replied coolly, returning her attention to the lecture. But she couldn't concentrate on the lecture, and it wasn't even because of Draco or the fact that Harry was _still_ blatantly staring. The main reason she couldn't pay attention was because this was Remus' class and whenever she even looked at him anymore she was just reminded of the kiss and everything she'd messed up by instigating it. Plus, there was always the distraction caused by Ron and Lavender, who were currently sitting directly in front of Harry, holding hands under the desk and passing notes.

She shook the stray thoughts out of her head, realizing that the class was almost over and she needed to at least take _some_ notes from Remus' lecture.

"But, as you all know, it's nearly impossible to properly utilize a Mobile Ward against a well-executed Unforgivable Curse," Remus spoke with ease, leaning up against the front of his desk and gesturing towards the enchanted chalkboard behind him. Listed on it were several basic facts about Mobile Wards.

Her attention still couldn't stay on the lecture. Just looking at Remus was enough to set her mind off on a great, exhausting tangent. She watched him closely, trying to pinpoint exactly why she'd barely stopped thinking about him for weeks. Perhaps it was just the Lycanthropy. Hermione frowned. She didn't want to only pin this on her becoming a werewolf. It felt like it was more than that. She _wanted_ it to be more than just that.

He really was quite handsome. Despite the scarring and the tired features he had the sort of looks that she could tell were very endearing when he'd been younger. They still were endearing to Hermione, and, as she suspected, many other girls. In fact, Hermione recalled passing by some younger Ravenclaw girls just that morning who were talking mooning over Professor Lupin. They'd all had obvious crushes on him. Remus was simply easy to like, always kind and attentive. He made every student – every person – feel special and appreciated.

The more Hermione thought about it, the more she missed being able to go to his rooms and talk to him. It had lasted for a little less than a month, and she missed that month dearly. She wished she could talk to him about menial things again. She wanted to tell him about Harry and Ron and what they were getting up to. She wanted to tell him about how her research was going again. He didn't even know that she'd begun experimenting in Snape's lab.

A tap on her shoulder drew Hermione away from these thoughts. Harry was looking at her very oddly. "Are you okay?" he whispered, glancing at Remus and then back at her.

Hermione internally cringed. She'd been staring like a lovesick child. On the bright side, though, at least it appeared that Harry was the only one to spot it. "Yeah," she breathed, "I'm fine. Just thinking about the lecture."

Harry nodded warily. Hermione turned back towards Remus, only to find that his eyes were trained on her. She cursed herself for not remembering that Remus had the same enhanced hearing she did and had probably heard their whole conversation. He continued on with the lecture a second later, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary. Hermione made a promise to herself right then and there to be much more careful around Harry and the others. There had been far too many close calls as of late.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Thanks so much for the wonderful response on the last chapter! I knew people would like the kiss, but I was absolutely floored at all the positive responses I received.

In other news… That last line was a bit of foreshadowing. The next chapter is a really, really big one. Any guesses on what's going to happen?


	10. Hell Hath No Fury

**X**

Hell Hath No Fury

* * *

><p>The next full moon – the second-to-last before Graduation – turned out to be a long succession of bad events and poor choices for Hermione.<p>

It began with the young werewolf skipping out on running with Remus the week before the moon. It was simply too awkward to be around him and Hermione decided that she still had to spend a lot of time revising for N.E.W.T.s. Plus, Harry and Ron had finally joined her in her revision and were now working with her in the library most days after school. The mother in her knew that she had to take advantage of the opportunity to better prepare the boys.

Hermione's lack of exercise left her jumpy, restless, and stressed during the week leading up to the full moon. Even Ron was noticing the changes in her, and he barely ever noticed anything like that. She knew that she was going to have to find out another way to hide her condition around the full moon or face telling her friends the truth. Because she knew that she wasn't ready to bear all to them yet, Hermione decided that on Friday, the day after the full moon, she was going to go to class and work hard and try to appear healthy and happy. She wouldn't risk raising any more suspicion.

On the night of the full moon Remus was late to meet Hermione and Professor Snape in the front of the school. Surprisingly enough, Snape inquired about Hermione's experiments while they stood there waiting. Despite looking bland and stoic about it, Hermione could tell that he had actually asked out of interest.

"I've been looking into the reaction of certain catalyst herbs with the Wolfsbane plant and the other ingredients in the potion," she explained to Professor Snape, not noticing that Remus had arrived.

"You've moved on to testing?" He asked, surprised. The group began walking out of the school, Snape disillusioning them as they went.

Hermione nodded, taking a deep breath before meeting Remus' eyes. "Professor Snape is allowing me to use the Potions Lab for it."

Remus quirked a brow. "That's quite a kind gesture of you, Severus."

Hermione had peeled her eyes away from Remus, watching the path in front of her as they exited the school and headed towards the gate. Now, though, Remus' tone prompted her to steal a quick glance at him. She couldn't be sure of what she saw in his expression, but for a split second she thought she saw a hint of possessiveness there.

"She was quite bothersome about it," Snape offered, his tone showing that he honestly could care less what Remus thought about this anymore.

The trio made the journey to Remus' cottage, Snape Disapparating only seconds after they arrived. It was when Hermione and Remus were alone that she truly felt the awkwardness settle in. Knowing that it was going to be a long twenty minutes until moonrise, she quickly grabbed her dressing gown and fled to the bathroom, waiting there up until a few moments before moonrise.

When she exited the bathroom Remus was already ready, sitting on the couch with a contemplative expression. Hermione felt the restlessness rise within her as moonrise drew closer. She began to pace. Remus' eyes followed her as she did so.

Pacing wasn't something she'd ever done in the past. The fact that she was doing it now was evidence of what the lack of running in the past week did to her, along with the stress about NEWTs and Remus. It was going to be a long night.

Soon Hermione was forced to stop pacing, the waves of discomfort rolling into new waves of excruciating pain. The transformation was starting.

* * *

><p>Remus allowed the tremors of the transformation to fade away slowly, lying down on the ground and closing his eyes. He had a headache, which he knew would persist throughout the whole day if he didn't get some rest when they got back to Hogwarts.<p>

He could feel the warmth of the morning light streaming through the window on his back. Summer was close. Picking up his head, he found the dressing gown that he'd worn last night and shrugged it on while still lying on the ground. Eventually, he glanced towards Hermione. She looked exhausted and drained, and he knew it was because she'd stayed up nearly all night in her wolf form.

Remus sighed, feeling sorry for letting things happen the way they did and wishing that he and Hermione could just go back to how things were before. Before the kiss he'd actually been able to help her with the lycanthropy. He wished that the kiss to never have happened, but more importantly he wished that he could revert to innocent feelings toward her. But then again, Remus had been having slightly less-than-innocent feelings towards Hermione for longer than he cared to admit.

Remus covered his face with his hands and tried to not relive the way her lips and body had felt against him. He remained like that until the door to the cottage creaked open and Severus's footsteps entered. Hermione seemed to be just waking up, having dozed off slightly in her utter exhaustion.

Severus flicked his wand and two Pepper-Up Potions appeared on the ground, one in front of Remus and the other in front of Hermione. They both drank. After downing the potion Remus felt significantly better, his headache finally abating. He could tell that Hermione wasn't at risk of passing out from exhaustion anymore, but she still looked to be in bad shape.

Both Remus and Hermione changed back into their clothes while Severus stood, tapping his foot by the front door. At last the trio set off back to Hogwarts. Hermione was very slow on the trip up to the castle, which prompted Severus to act in his normally cruel manner. "We _do_ have things to do today, Miss Granger, things that do not involve making a four hour trip up to the castle," said the Potions Master.

Hermione ignored him, but Remus gave Severus an icy glare to compensate.

When they eventually arrived at the castle Remus was sure that Hermione would decide to stay in the Hospital Wing all day. He was therefore surprised when she told Poppy that she wasn't going to miss any classes today, and that she needed to get back to her rooms to prepare for breakfast.

"Hermione," Remus spoke up, "you're exhausted. You should take the day off." He himself always missed breakfast and sometimes a few classes the morning after the full moon.

She shook her head. "I'll be fine." He noted that she refused to make eye contact with him.

"Please, Hermione," he said, "you really need to get some rest."

She picked her head up and glared at him. "I'll be fine," was her clipped response before exiting the Hospital Wing.

Remus' shoulders slumped as he turned and begun the long trek back to his quarters for a nap. Hermione would soon understand how important immediate rest was after a full moon. He only hoped that she learned her lesson this time and didn't completely exhaust herself in the process.

* * *

><p>The scent of lavender filled the bathroom, wafting above the water and causing Hermione to feel drowsy and at peace. She sighed deeply, letting her mind float away while she relaxed into the warm bathwater.<p>

In the end she had made it through the whole day of classes just fine. Truthfully, she was completely knackered, but she'd still made it through the day of classes. In the afternoon Harry asked her if she was coming to the Quidditch pitch to watch their last practice before the final. Hermione cursed herself, remembering that she'd promised Harry and Ron to watch their practice. It was a very important event for them, as they were both graduating and would likely never play competitive Quidditch again.

She told Harry that she couldn't go in the end. He understood, having obviously noticed her battle with exhaustion throughout the day.

This left Hermione with a peaceful afternoon to herself. She was intent on taking a nice long bath with some of the lavender soap her mum had sent, along with getting as much rest as she could. The bath turned out to be just what she needed. Hermione even drifted off to sleep for a few moments, or at least she _thought_ it was a few moments.

"HERMIONE!"

The shouting awoke her, making her start in the lukewarm bathwater. Someone was calling her name, muffled by the door to her bedroom. The voice sounded a lot like Harry, and this was enough to make Hermione jump out of the water and hastily pull some clothes on. She exited the bathroom and ran to the door of her bedroom, now able to hear that he was both pounding on the door and shouting for her. She opened it, finding Harry, still wearing all of his Quidditch gear, fixed with the most panicked expression she'd seen in a long time.

"Harry," she gasped, "what happened?"

"Ginny- it's Ginny," he sputtered out, breathing heavily, "She's been attacked."

Hermione's stomach dropped. She was fairly certain that she now wore the same expression of complete panic as Harry.

"She walked down to the Quidditch Pitch alone and then when she didn't arrive we went to look and-" Harry broke off, desperately trying to regain his composure.

"Harry where is she? Is she alright?" Hermione's voice was high and shrill when she spoke.

He rubbed his temples, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe this. "I- I think she'll be okay. She's in the hospital wing and-"

Before Harry could finish the sentence Hermione had stormed past him, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him along at breakneck speed. Soon enough they were running to the Hospital Wing, crossing the school in record time and ignoring all the strange looks they received along the way. The only thing that Hermione could think about was how she had planned to walk down to the Quidditch Pitch with Ginny. At the last moment she'd cancelled on them all, leaving Ginny to walk to the Pitch alone.

A few random students occupied the Hospital wing, sitting in beds and waiting for medical attention from Pomfrey. What caught Hermione's attention, however, was that the whole back of the room was curtained off from view. Madam Pomfrey bustled past Hermione and Harry just as they entered. She looked over her shoulder at them, pointing to the back of the room and leading the way. Shaking, Hermione made her way toward the closed-off area of the wing, pushing through some curtains and finding that it was packed with people.

Her eyes searched through a sea of Weasley-red hair for Ginny. She found the girl lying in one of the hospital beds, unconscious. Ginny looked pale and sickly. Hermione could immediately recognize this as being a result from blood loss. There wasn't much else to infer from Ginny's state, other than the fact that whomever had attacked her had likely intended to kill.

Mrs. Weasley sat at Ginny's bedside, sniffling softly. Mr. Weasley stood behind her, one hand on her shoulder and an expression of angry devastation on his face. Ron, Fred, and George were on the other side of the bed, watching their sister's form sadly.

Several feet away stood about half of the Order of the Phoenix. Hermione spotted many familiar faces, including Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Remus, Sirius, Tonks, and Mad-Eye. Dumbledore spoke softly while the others listened. Hermione caught Remus' eye where he stood between Sirius and McGonagall. The expression he wore was enough to confirm Hermione's sneaking suspicion of what this was all about.

"What happened, Harry?" she asked stonily, turning to the bespectacled boy who now stood beside her.

His lips pulled into a thin line. "They didn't tell me much, only that McGonagall arrived and scared off whoever was attacking Ginny. I don't-" Harry ran a hand over his face. The distress almost radiated off of him. "Pomfrey said Ginny could've _died_ if McGonagall had been a minute or two later."

Hermione combed a hand through her hair, only realizing at that moment that her hair was still damp from her bath. She wanted to say something to Harry, but no words would come.

Just then, Ron looked up from his place at Ginny's side. He stood and slowly made his way over to Harry and Hermione. Hermione was sure that had she not been in the midst of a terrible maelstrom of anger and guilt she would have tackled Ron in a hug and started sobbing into his shoulder at that moment.

"I needed some air," Ron explained uselessly. He, like Harry, was still wearing all of his Quidditch gear. His face looked pale and his posture slumped with obvious emotional exhaustion.

"Is she going to be okay?" Hermione asked shrilly.

Ron nodded. "Pomfrey said she'll miss several days of school. Sh- she was pretty banged up, Hermione," Ron's voice broke bitterly. Another wave of anger rose within Hermione. She looked to the group of Order members that was assembled only a few feet away, once again catching Remus' gaze. He looked sad and foreboding, like he knew something she didn't.

Hermione pushed past Harry and Ron, making her way towards the small circle of Order members. Dumbledore had been murmuring quietly to McGonagall and Snape, but he stopped when he saw Hermione approach, tailed by Harry and Ron.

By the time Hermione breached the circle most eyes were on her. She looked at Remus, her gaze drifting to McGonagall and Sirius, who stood on either side of him. They all looked at her with a sort of sadness that made her feel sick. "Who was it?" she asked stonily.

Nobody spoke.

After waiting too long for no response, she focused her gaze on Snape. The Potions Master stood still and expressionless for a long moment, before finally responding. "Lucius," he murmured, his dark eyes boring into Hermione's.

She saw red. It was only seconds before Hermione was storming from the Hospital Wing. All her resounding aches and pains of the full moon were forgotten in her raging anger. She could vaguely hear several sets of footsteps following her, along with the voices of Harry and Ron asking her where she was going and pleading with her to stop and explain what this meant. The vague sixth-sense that she'd developed somewhere in the back of her mind told her that Remus was trailing her as well.

She stormed all the way to the Great Hall, where dinner was currently taking place. Not thinking anything about consequences or what people would say, Hermione pushed into the grand room and strode all the way to the Slytherin table.

Draco was sitting near the end of the table alone. He was eating his dinner listlessly, occasionally glancing down the table to where his fellow Slytherins sat. Hermione did not falter in her procession towards Draco, finally catching his attention when he looked up. He watched her in complete confusion, his eyes darting to Ron, Harry, and Remus, who stood just outside the Great Hall.

"What are you-" Draco began, cut off when Hermione grabbed his arm and roughly pulled him from the table. He tried to pull away, but her grip was too strong. He stumbled away from the Slytherin table and Hermione nearly dragged him out of the Great Hall, back into the corridor where Harry, Ron, and Remus stood.

"What the fuck, Granger?" Draco nearly shouted, looking back to the Slytherin table, where many of the students were watching. Some students at the other tables watched as well, but most of the Great Hall hadn't cared to notice Hermione's storming entrance. She would be thankful for this later.

"Hermione-" Remus began, but she ignored him, continuing down the corridor with Draco stumbling along until they were well out of sight of the Great Hall. Harry and Ron followed as well, sharing looks and eyeing Draco closely. The boys were smart enough to understand at least part of what was going on now; they'd heard Snape mention Lucius Malfoy, and now Hermione was aggressively dragging Draco out of the Great Hall as if he'd done this to Ginny himself.

She pushed Draco against the wall of the corridor, her expression menacing and her wand pointed directly at his neck. "I should be asking you that, Draco. What the fuck? I kept your secret!" She was shouting and cursing, her rage unstoppable in that moment. Remus put up a muffling charm around them.

She continued on her tirade, poking her wand into Draco's chest. "I wanted to _help_ you! I _tried_ to help you, and this is how you repay me?" Her wand was glowing red with the anticipation of all the harsh curses she wanted to cast. Her final words were more menacing and surprising to Harry and Ron than anything else; "I should have killed you when I had the chance."

"I- I don't know what you're talking about!" Draco sputtered, looking to the others as if asking for help. It seemed that Harry and Ron's expressions weren't very comforting, because his eyes soon darted back to Hermione.

"Of course you do," she raged, bright red sparks shooting from the tip of her wand, "Your father was behind all of it _again_!"

He suddenly looked very confused. Hermione hesitated, and before she could speak again there was a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Remus. With an anxious expression, he gently pulled her wand hand away from Draco. Hermione turned and faced him fully now. She could feel the burning of angry tears begin to form in her eyes. Remus kept his hand on her shoulder the whole time, and she could feel the wave of calm through his touch. Somewhere in the back of her mind Hermione wondered how angry and unhinged she would have become had Remus not been present when she'd confronted Draco.

Taking a deep breath and pushing aside the part of her that wanted to cry about this, Hermione looked behind Remus to where Harry and Ron stood. Ron was glaring at Draco openly, the tips of his ears red with anger. Harry looked angry as well, but more so bewildered than anything else. Hermione knew right then that she had to explain everything to them. There was no more putting it off; tonight all her secrets would come to light.

"Perhaps we should go back to the Hospital Wing," Remus suggested softly, dropping his hand from Hermione's shoulder, "you may accompany us, Draco." Hermione followed Remus' gaze back to Draco, whose eyes were darting between the four Gryffindors in front of him with a hardly-restrained fear.

"I don't know what's going on," Draco began hastily, now looking at Remus, "I haven't spoken to my father in weeks, I swear."

"It's alright, Draco," Remus interjected, taking up the kind and peaceful character that Hermione had always admired, "We'll just need to talk to Professor Dumbledore about this. You're not necessarily in any trouble."

Draco inclined his head in a minuscule nod. Remus let out a breath, "alright, then. We should clear out of the corridor before the rest of the students leave dinner."

Together, the odd group made their way back to the Hospital Wing. Remus stayed close to Hermione, as if to keep her from doing something rash or violent again. Despite thinking that she was in control of her temper now, she knew that she wasn't. A trend she'd noticed around the full moons was the increased aggression and lack of forethought, but it had never been as bad as it was today. She supposed it could be accounted to the quite emotionally and physically exhausting full moon combined with the fact that Ginny of all people had been attacked and she suspected Draco Malfoy to be behind it.

But _did_ she suspect Draco? She'd been more than certain several moments ago, but now… Draco had seemed so honestly shocked by her accusations, and although he could very well be an extraordinary actor. Still… she really hadn't expected him to revert back to aiding his father. It had seemed that all of her efforts with him were actually getting somewhere. She chanced a look over in his direction. Remus was standing between them in an attempt to stop any more violent actions, but she still caught Draco's eye. He looked at her pleadingly, as if that desperate expression would vouch for his innocence in this. It was very odd coming from Draco Malfoy. Hermione looked away, keeping her eyes locked straight ahead and focusing on calming her temper the whole way back to the Hospital Wing.

Ginny's corner of the Hospital Wing was still closed off and full of people, most of whom looked surprised at the returning group. The Weasleys and Sirius, most of all, looked astonished by Draco's presence. Ginny's bed was still exposed and Hermione watched as Draco caught a glimpse of her through the throng of her family members. He stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the pale, unconscious girl in bed with her crying mother and worried family members by her side. "My _father_ did that?" he whispered, horrified.

It was now that Hermione truly accepted the fact that Draco probably had nothing to do with this. Even if he had been involved, it was stupid of her to go charging into the Great Hall and dragging him out in a rage. There would definitely be some rumors in the morning. Plus, she now had plenty of explaining to do to Ron and Harry.

Dumbledore had left the circle of Order members, approaching Hermione, Draco, Remus, Harry, and Ron. "Hello, Mr. Malfoy," he greeted the blonde gingerly, as if there was nothing wrong in the world. Next he turned to the group as a whole. "Would you all like to come have a word with the group?" He motioned back to the collective of adults, all watching with interest. "Draco, I'm sure you have already come to a certain understanding of the situation." Draco nodded. Dumbledore smiled, looking over his shoulder to Snape. "Professor Snape has assured us that you are not to blame in this situation and I believe it would be prudent if you returned to your rooms until he can speak with you."

Draco nodded again, glancing at Hermione, Harry, and Ron cautiously. Hermione tried to offer him a somewhat apologetic nod, but she thought that perhaps it might have come out as more of an approval of Dumbledore's sending him away. She couldn't see the expressions of Harry or Ron, but she guessed that they were still both in some sort of stage of emotional upheaval.

Draco then looked toward Snape, who nodded minutely at him. Hermione didn't know quite what it meant, but she assumed that Snape would be speaking to Draco about all of this very soon. Draco left then, walking out of the Hospital Wing nervously, turning and looking back at Hermione and the others every few seconds until he was out of view. Once he was gone Dumbledore led Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Remus over to the group of Order members. "Perhaps we should all have a bit of a conversation about this," he suggested gently. Something told Hermione that despite his soft tone, he would not allow her to leave before this conversation happened. She felt a twinge of embarrassment that she'd acted so rashly.

McGonagall, Snape, Sirius, Tonks, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were all there, watching the approaching group. Once inside the circle of Order members, Dumbledore looked to Snape. "Severus," he sighed, "perhaps it would be best if you repeated the explanation you gave us only a few moments ago about this evening's events."

Snape looked frustrated. "Lucius Malfoy was long ago assigned the task of getting to Potter's closest friends," Snape began, "and eliminating them if possible."

Harry inhaled sharply.

Snape's gaze fell on Hermione, and despite his blank expression, she could tell what he meant by looking at her. He was giving her a chance to interject, stop him before he revealed anything to Harry and Ron that would require a further explanation. Hermione didn't move, giving him no signal to stop.

"When Lucius' attempt on Miss Granger's life failed, he became more desperate."

This time both Harry and Ron snapped towards Hermione, their confused looks prying at her composure. "Later," she whispered shortly, hoping that they would be patient.

"It is my belief that Lucius has been searching for a way to harm one of Potter's close friends for a while, and when he found Miss Weasley alone and outside of the safety of the castle, he attacked." Snape finally let down his blank, emotionless wall for a moment and he actually looked sort of sad about it.

"He was probably looking for me," Hermione murmured, her eyes resting on the ground.

"What do you mean?" Harry spoke up, turning and facing her, "and why did Professor Snape say that he tried to kill you, Hermione?"

She picked her head up, looking around the circle. McGonagall, Tonks, Kingsley, and the Weasleys all looked suspicious. Sirius watched her sadly, but allowed her a reassuring half-smile when she looked at him. Snape had reverted to the same listless expression. Dumbledore caught her eye and nodded his approval. Finally, she looked to Remus, who stood directly to her left. He held her gaze for a long time, showing a mix of guilt, lamenting, and understanding. She realized that in his past he had likely gone through a similar situation many times, and had to face the question of whether or not to tell many people about his Lycanthropy often. In that moment she wanted so badly to put off Harry and Ron's questions and go back to Remus' quarters with him and drink tea in front of the fire like they used to.

Ron let out a sharp breath, interrupting Hermione's thoughts. "This whole situation is too bloody complicated," he breathed, voice thick with irritation and pent up anger.

Hermione decided then that this had to happen now. She looked to both Harry and Ron. "Let's sit down and I'll explain it, okay?" she voiced, pointing towards an empty hospital bed at the edge of the circle, still within sight of Ginny. Her main motive in wanting to sit down was simply that she'd been standing for a very long time and her legs were killing her. Her joints would ache and protest for hours more until the effects of the full moon finally wore off.

Harry and Ron followed as Hermione walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. The whole group of Order members watched curiously, standing around the hospital bed and sharing worried looks. Hermione caught Remus' eye once she was sitting, sharing a long, strange look with him. It wasn't so much a look that conveyed any sort of emotion or message, but it still felt reassuring to Hermione. She knew his calm demeanor had to be difficult; everyone was about to learn that he'd infected his student with Lycanthropy and nearly killed her in the process. But somehow, despite the knowledge of what Harry — whose opinion Hermione knew Remus valued more than he would ever say — was about to learn, he remained steadfast in his subtle support.

"Did something happen?" Harry spoke up, now sitting on one side of Hermione, Ron on the other, "is this why you've been so different lately?"

She looked him dead in the eyes and nodded.

"This is why you've been sick a lot too."

She nodded again.

"What happened?" It was Ron who spoke now.

Hermione took a deep breath, and then began to tell her story.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> This was one of my favorite chapters/scenes when I was planning out this story. What did everyone think?


	11. Like a Woman Scorned

**XI**

Like a Woman Scorned

* * *

><p>With Harry, Ron, and most of the Order of the Phoenix watching, Hermione told her sordid tale. She told them about Lucius Malfoy bringing Remus and herself into the Forbidden Forest four months ago. She told them in the gentlest words possible about how she barely managed to stay alive, only to be bitten by Remus. She told them about Snape finding them in the morning, about speaking to Dumbledore and trying to figure out how she was going to pick up the pieces of this mess.<p>

The conversation was one that she had been anticipating as terrible and painful, but she soon found it to be one of the most liberating and relieving things she'd experienced in a long while. Not only could Hermione get the terrible burden of these secrets off of her shoulders, but she could also allow the others to assure Remus that he wasn't at fault for this. Remus was surprised by the amount of support he was getting, along with the distinct lack of outward blame from anyone.

She continued on with her story, explaining what had happened with Greyback in Hogsmeade and of all of their worries over the months about what Lucius would do next. She then started telling them about Draco, all of her confrontations with him and how far she thought he had come, along with why she had been so angry with him only moments ago.

The only thing Hermione left out was her research on the Wolfsbane and her growing relationship with Remus, knowing that these details would not benefit from being shared at a time like this. In the end she looked around the circle to the shocked, devastated, and sorrowful faces. Her gaze slowed on Harry and Ron. "I'm so sorry I've kept this from you for so long," she murmured, trying to maintain her composure. "I just- I didn't know how-"

Harry interrupted her with a fierce, crushing hug. "I'm sorry this happened," he whispered, his voice full of emotion.

"It's alright," she replied, catching Remus' steady gaze, "I think I'm through the worst of it now."

A shuffling behind Hermione alerted her to Ron's rise from the Hospital bed. He took a step, hesitated, and then turned to face her. "I can't believe this!" he shouted. "Why haven't we caught Malfoy yet? Or Greyback? Or Draco? We need to do something!" He whirled around, looking at Dumbledore with a barely-composed rage. "We just let Malfoy go! He's probably going to report to his father the next best way to try and kill one of us again. First Hermione, n-now Ginny…" Ron's voice broke off. Hermione watched from behind as his shoulders sagged. She stood from the bed, dropping Harry's embrace and approaching Ron.

"It's okay, Ron," she murmured softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I know this makes you angry, but Draco wasn't behind this. There's nothing we can do now but keep ourselves safe from his father."

"No!" he yelled, turning around and brushing Hermione's arm from his shoulder, "we have to do something. Ginny could've- she almost _died_, Hermione! _You_ almost died! You're a _werewolf_ now because of him!"

The comment stung, but what stung more was seeing Remus flinch out of the corner of her eye. Hermione felt her temper flare. Without giving anything else much thought, she pulled her wand from her robes, taking another step towards Ron and opening her mouth to give him a piece of her mind. She was interrupted, however, by someone else's voice.

"Ronald." It was Mr. Weasley. The man stepped away from his weeping wife, a tense expression on his face as he looked between Ron and Hermione. "Yelling won't do us any good. I know this is hard, but I also know that Hermione needs you to be calm about this." He picked up his head and looked over Ron's shoulder at Hermione. Mr. Weasley was giving her a chance to reign in her temper before she did something stupid. She shut her mouth and lowered her wand hand. Mr. Weasley continued, an earnest expression on his face, "We're going to figure this out." These words weren't necessarily directed at Hermione, but she felt that they were meant for her. With them came acceptance and hope. This was something that she appreciated more than she could put into words.

Mrs. Weasley rushed forward suddenly, pulling Hermione into a teary, bone-crushing hug. "Oh, you poor child," she whispered, squeezing Hermione closer and barely restraining her tears. After a few seconds she appeared to remember Remus's part in all of this. "Remus!" she gasped, reaching out for the professor and dragging him into her embrace alongside Hermione. Hermione found herself awkwardly crushed between Remus and Mrs. Weasley, her elbow poking into his side and his feet clunking against hers. She had expected an emotional reaction from Mrs. Weasley, and despite having dreaded this encounter, she knew that it was worth everything. It was only now that Remus could truly understand how he had been as much of a victim as Hermione all along.

The following moments included many hugs and whispers about how strong Hermione was and how if _anyone_ could get through this, it was her. Even Sirius came forward, patting Remus on the back and pulling Hermione into his side for a brief hug. "I told them that you had to be the one to say it in the end," he said, looking at her proudly. "You did a good job."

She smiled up at him. "Thanks, Sirius."

"You knew?" Harry had stepped forward again, looking at Sirius perplexedly, his gaze shifting to Hermione and Remus every few seconds.

Sirius nodded, grinning slyly. "Lets just say I was a little nosy and came upon the information when I shouldn't have."

Harry watched his godfather for a moment before giving a wary nod. He seemed to be irked that Sirius had been privy to the information before him. It didn't worry Hermione; she knew Harry would eventually understand that she didn't intend for Sirius to know, it had just happened that way.

Next Hermione received a pair of rare hugs from Fred and George, who promised to send her plenty of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes products to help her through the bad days. "Oh," Hermione sighed, waving her hand, "you boys don't have to do that."

"But we insist," George smirked, patting her on the head gingerly.

"It wouldn't be fair if we did the same to Remus and not you," Fred continued.

"And they _definitely_ do it to me," Remus grumbled, shooting the twins an irritated glance.

Fred and George just laughed, retreating from Hermione and back to their parents and their still-unconscious sister.

All in all, it was several moments of great emotional upheaval, which left Professor Snape looking more disgruntled than Hermione had ever seen him. She watched him with a bemused expression, just as it seemed that many others turned their attention to him.

Snape looked to Dumbledore. "I think it would be prudent if I spoke to Mr. Malfoy sooner rather than later."

"I agree, Severus," Dumbledore nodded, "you may go."

Snape left, breezing past the group and past Hermione. When he passed she thought she saw him give her the slightest nod, but she figured that it must have simply been her imagination, because a moment later he was staring straight ahead and briskly exiting the Hospital Wing.

"In fact," Dumbledore spoke again, "I think it has been a long day for all of us. Perhaps we should all take the night and rest." He looked around the tired group before clapping his hands together and smiling, "very well. Poppy?"

Madam Pomfrey came bursting back into the curtained area, nodding to Dumbledore and checking up on Ginny. "Miss Weasley won't wake up until sometime tomorrow. Blood loss like this is very exhausting. None of you will miss anything if you retire for the night."

"Will she have a scar?" Hermione asked, not knowing why she'd so suddenly decided to voice the question.

Pomfrey examined Hermione closely for a moment. "I'm afraid so. The cutting hex did some damage that won't fully mend, not for several months at least."

Hermione let out a breath, frowning. Kingsley, Tonks, and Professor McGonagall soon left. The Hospital Wing was looking more empty and tired than before. Hermione found herself once again situated between Harry and Ron, this time at Ginny's bedside. Ron hadn't spoken since his initial outburst several minutes ago. He simply sat in contemplative silence.

"D'you want to come back to the Common Room with us, Hermione?" Harry inquired, his voice hoarse and tired. Hermione idly wondered if he had cried and screamed when he'd found out about Ginny and that was why his voice was so rough.

She sighed, thinking over his question and then shaking her head. "I think the Common Room might be a little loud for me right now. It is still the day after the full moon, after all."

Harry was quiet for a moment. At last, he spoke up. "You must have been so scared."

She chuckled dryly in an attempt to mask some sort of deeper emotion, "yeah. It was scary."

"I'm sorry you had to go through this," Harry murmured.

She could feel him looking at Ron, the two young men having a silent argument. "I'm sorry too Hermione," Ron piped up, "and I'm sorry I got so angry about it."

She looked at Ron, smiling genuinely despite the fact that she knew Harry had pushed him into that apology. "It's alright, Ron," she breathed, "you had a right to be angry after what's happened to your sister." Her eyes fell on Ginny's sleeping form again. She ruminated on the night's events for a long time. "I wish I could have been there with Ginny," she whispered, loud enough so only the boys could hear her, "then he would have attacked me instead. Maybe we could have fought him off together."

"Don't blame yourself Hermione," Harry spoke up, "if we've learned one thing over these past few months it's that guilt doesn't really help at all, right?"

She smiled despite herself, thinking of Remus. "You're only too right, Harry."

The boys decided to go back to the Common Room not long after this, knowing that Ginny would be there in the morning and riding on Dumbledore's apparent promise that they could miss all their classes tomorrow and spend the day in the Hospital Wing with Ginny if they so pleased.

Hermione sat by Ginny's bed for a few minutes after this, realizing that this was the first time she'd been alone with her thoughts since she found out about the attack hours ago. She thought a lot about how things would have gone differently had she accompanied Ginny to the Quidditch Pitch like they'd planned. Maybe Ginny wouldn't have been hurt at all in that situation. Maybe Malfoy would have killed both of them on the spot. There was no way she could know what would have happened, but one thing she did know was that she felt awful about it. Hermione would live with at least some modicum of guilt over this for the rest of her life.

She drew out of her deep thoughts, hearing footsteps behind her and knowing that they belonged to Remus. As he drew closer Hermione shut her eyes and took a deep breath, embracing the wave of cool calmness rising over her. Without looking behind her she could use her enhanced senses to tell that Dumbledore, Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley, and Sirius were still present, not far away from Ginny's sleeping form.

Remus took the seat Harry had vacated, languidly bending down and wincing at the soreness of his muscles. Hermione turned to look at him, her expression despondent.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm sore," she sighed, still fixing him with a sidelong glance, "but it's not as bad as it was this morning."

"That's good, but I meant how are you feeling about everything that's just happened." His lips quirked up in something of a fond smile. It made Hermione's heart flutter.

"Oh," she breathed, leaning back and examining her ink-spotted fingers. "I'm glad I got to tell them the truth, but it's also going to change a lot of things from now on. I'm sure you know that better than I do."

He nodded absently, "Yes."

They sat in silence for a few odd seconds before Remus spoke again, looking over his shoulder where Dumbledore and the others stood and then back at Hermione. "Do you want to come to my rooms?"

She could feel him wince at the awkwardness of it. "I mean-" he stammered in an attempt at recovery, "I just thought that it seemed like you didn't want to go back to your dormitory and it's been too long since we've actually talked and we can have tea and-"

"I'd like to," she interjected, looking at him and smiling at his sudden bashfulness.

He nodded, "ah- okay. Good."

The pair left the Hospital Wing not long after. Dumbledore and Sirius both noticed their exit, but neither seemed to care all that much. Hermione was glad that Dumbledore hadn't objected. It was inappropriate for a professional student-teacher relationship like theirs, but it appeared that Dumbledore didn't think rules of propriety applied to such a situation as this.

Remus' rooms hadn't changed at all since she'd last been there. He lit a fire in the fireplace immediately upon their entrance, starting a batch of tea a moment later. Hermione sat on the couch right where she used to sit, staring into the fireplace. It felt like everything had been moving so fast today and there hadn't been time to rest or think much, but now things were slowing down. She felt skittish and fatigued.

Remus brought her tea and she sipped it slowly. The warm liquid was somewhat calming as she swallowed it, but her hand still shook when she held the teacup and her knee still bounced up and down anxiously. Instead of sitting in his usual armchair across from her, he sat beside Hermione on the couch, his long legs bumping up against hers clumsily before he shifted away. She almost smiled.

"You look exhausted," he said softly, watching her while she stared off into the fire, "you should really try to get some sleep."

"I don't think I can right now," she murmured, her voice hoarse and broken.

He reached for her free hand that sat limply at her side, grasping it in both of his and rubbing his thumb over the skin on the palm of her hand. It felt _right_, and that thought just made Hermione even sadder. She set down her tea, knowing she would spill it if she didn't. His hands were still holding hers, and she felt a heavy weight in her stomach because she knew this was wrong and it wouldn't last but she wanted to stay here forever.

She inhaled, her breath hitching as a sob attempted to escape. Remus immediately removed one of his hands from hers and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. She allowed a few tears to fall as her head rested against his shoulder, but nothing more. There would be time to cry later, not in front of Remus.

His hand moved up and down along her arm, only a few inches away from the scar that stretched over her shoulder and back. It was the scar that he'd given her. He hadn't seen her scars since that first night – or rather the morning after – in the Forbidden Forest. She wondered if he would feel better or worse to see how they'd healed.

Her body was shaking with the urge to cry, and that just made him pull her tighter against him. She wanted to live in this moment for a long time, but she simultaneously wanted to get as far away from it as possible, hating that he could see any evidence of her weakness.

It was a long time before she was able to speak. She dried her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper and took a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't want to go back to my dormitory tonight."

He didn't speak for a moment. She stared into the fire. Finally, his soft works pulled her out of her reverie. "You can stay here," he mumbled.

She was thoroughly surprised. "Are you sure?"

He nodded without missing a beat. "It's not like it hasn't happened before. While I definitely shouldn't be allowing this, I think these are special circumstances."

With a flick of his wand hand, he'd summoned a blanket onto his lap. Picking it up, he began to drape it over her form. Next he stood from the couch, dropping all contact with her. Hermione reached for his arm. "Stay here," she pleaded, grasping his wrist lightly, "with me."

He shook his head. "I don't think that's a very good idea, Hermione." He looked over to the armchair, obviously aiming to settle there.

"You said it yourself: these are special circumstances." She sat up further on the couch, "it's so much easier when you're close, and I know you feel it too."

He looked like he wanted to protest, probably to say that he would sit in the armchair and that was close enough. He knew what she meant, of course; it was easier when they were physically touching.

Surprisingly enough, Remus didn't say anything else. He simply watched her for a long time. She could see his resolve crumbling. Eventually, his shoulders slumped and he sat back down on the couch beside her.

As Hermione settled into his side, his arm once again wrapping around her shoulders, she felt the steady stream of comfort roll back in. A part of her felt bad of coercing him into doing this, but she knew this would provide a better night's sleep for both of them. His eventual relaxation against her told her that he felt the same way.

She drifted off to sleep slowly, and Remus did the same.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> The whole scene in the Hospital Wing was initially going to be a lot different, but it ended up like it is now and it feels right to me. I hope it felt right to all of you. Just remember that we're working towards Remus not hating himself for what he's done to Hermione. It's a long process, but we're slowly moving along.


	12. Adjust

**XII**

Adjust

* * *

><p>Hermione woke up sprawled across a strange couch the next morning, realizing not long after that it was Remus' couch and Remus was absent from it. She realized why he was gone when she cast a <em>Tempus<em> and saw that it was eleven o'clock in the morning.

_I must have been more exhausted than I thought._

She was honestly surprised that he'd left her in his quarters all alone. She understood that he probably had to get to breakfast and teach his classes today, but she never expected him to allow her to remain sleeping on his couch in his private rooms. If someone found her they would both be answering quite a few awkward questions.

With this in mind, Hermione decided that she might as well get out of here before anything bad happened. She got off the couch and neatly folded up the blanket that he'd summoned for her. As she straightened herself up and headed toward the door, something caught her eye.

Atop one of the shelves on his bookshelf were three framed photos. She narrowed her eyes, stepping closer and wondering why she'd never noticed them before. One was an old looking photo of a young couple, standing next to each other in front of a modest little house. The man had one arm around the woman's waist and the other showing off a key, which appeared to belong to the house. Hermione smiled at the sheer happiness of the couple. She knew that it was Remus' parents mostly because the woman had the same nose and mouth as him and the man had Remus' hair. She wondered idly why it was a non-magical photo. Were they Muggles? She felt like she would have heard something about it by now if Remus were a Muggle-born. Perhaps only one of his parents was a Muggle, then?

Hermione was suddenly realizing that there was a lot more she wished to know about Remus. She couldn't recall a time when he'd ever been very open with her about his life or his childhood in particular, except for the time when she'd asked him about getting bitten by Greyback. Perhaps she'd have to ask him more…

The next photo was one that Hermione knew very well. Remus had made a copy of it a few years ago and given it to Harry. It was a photo of Remus, Sirius, James, and Pettigrew when they were all children. They looked to be in their fifth year or so at Hogwarts. They were sitting together in the Gryffindor Common Room. Remus and Pettigrew seemed to have just been in the middle of a game of Wizard's Chess which Sirius and James had interrupted with the photo. Broad, lighthearted grins covered their young, innocent faces. It was eerie to compare the boys in this photo to the men she knew now. Both Sirius and Remus were extremely different from these young men, grinning and shoving each other around and looking like they had the world laid out before them. She recalled Sirius saying once that this had been one of the few pictures anyone had bothered to take of them during their Hogwarts years. Hermione knew Harry cherished it because of that, even though it did include Peter Pettigrew. Somehow, though, Pettigrew didn't seem all that evil and terrible in this picture, before he'd ever become a Death Eater. Hermione knew that Remus felt the same way and that he must have been a little closer to Peter than the other boys.

The last photo appeared to be many years later, in the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. It looked similar to another one Harry had received, but there were several major differences. For one, none of them knew that the picture was being taken. This one contained Harry's parents, Remus, Sirius, and a strange girl Hermione didn't know whom Sirius had his arm around. They were all sitting at a large table much like the one in the basement of Number 12, Grimmauld Place, focused on the person talking or holding their attention. The photo was being taken from the other side of the table, and Hermione wondered for a moment who had taken it. All in all, though, it was a pretty average photo. Hermione liked seeing it because Harry had never wanted to spend that much time sharing the photos of his parents with her, but now she got the chance to really have a close look at them. She also liked it because she got a better insight into how Remus was when he was closer to her age. He was happier and less reserved, without the self-consciousness and weariness that she knew now.

Finally, Hermione decided that she probably ought to leave Remus' rooms and not invade his privacy any more. Taking one last look to make sure everything was in its proper place, Hermione slipped out. Back in her dormitory she changed into fresh clothes and determined that it was time to visit Ginny.

The Hospital Wing was not heavily occupied on this morning, lucky for Hermione. Upon nearing Ginny's bed, Hermione noticed that the girl was already awake, Harry and Ron huddled at her bedside

"Hermione!" Ginny grinned broadly, extending her arms for a hug, which Hermione readily returned.

"I'm so sorry, Ginny," Hermione sputtered out, grasping her friend's shoulders tightly while Harry and Ron watched on, "I'm so sorry that all of this happened to you and I'm sorry that I wasn't there with you and-"

Ginny cut her off, "Hermione, slow down, slow down." She looked to Harry and Ron, sharing some sort of look with them that Hermione couldn't quite decipher. "Look, Harry and Ron told me some of what happened but they said that there's something important you need to explain to me."

Hermione looked over at Harry and Ron. Ron was staring at the ground, not daring to look up at Hermione. Harry nodded in affirmation of what Ginny had just said.

Hermione sighed, facing Ginny. "There's a lot of stuff that I haven't told you, stuff that you ought to have known, stuff that is probably half the reason why you were attacked yesterday."

"Don't look so guilty," Ginny quipped, "you didn't intend for this to happen and the boys assured me that this was in no way your fault."

Hermione nodded weakly, her chest going tight with emotion. Despite telling the story to nearly the whole Order yesterday, this was still wholly terrifying. It was probably the biggest secret she'd ever had, and it felt like it had been so much easier when no one but Remus, Dumbledore, and Snape had known. But this was important. Ginny was the final step in telling everyone close to her about what exactly had been going on over the past few months.

Thus ensued a very long conversation with Ginny, much like the one she had yesterday with the others. Harry and Ron sat there the whole time, listening patiently and nodding solemnly when Ginny looked at them in shocked disbelief. After the story began to wind down, there were a lot of teary hugs and questions on Ginny's part. Ginny wanted to know all about how it had happened in the first place, how Hermione had felt, and why she'd decided to handle it the way she did.

"Are you angry that I didn't tell you?' Hermione asked after she had finished explaining.

Ginny thought about it for a couple seconds, and then shook her head. "I understand why. While I do wish I could have known and tried to help you, it also makes sense why you wouldn't want to tell anybody."

"And it's not like we were giving you a lot of opportunities to tell us," Harry added, a slight hint of shame in his tone.

"It was just a difficult time," Ginny continued, looking between Harry and Hermione, "we can't hold blame for anyone in this sort of situation."

"Thank you, Ginny," Hermione said, suddenly feeling very weepy and affectionate. She hugged her friend tightly, careful not to hurt the redhead's wounds. Apparently Malfoy's cutting hex had hit her pretty badly across her abdomen, and could have been lethal if only aimed a few centimeters higher.

Ginny looked over at Harry next, and it was as if they were having some sort of silent conversation. "We should go," Harry said suddenly, elbowing Ron and sharing a look with Ginny. Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion as Harry kissed Ginny on the forehead and then he and Ron cleared out.

"What was that about?" Hermione began, watching the boys retreat from the Hospital Wing.

"Harry and I have developed a way of communicating with few words," Ginny smiled wryly. "I let him know that he and Ron needed to get out."

"Why?"

"Because," Ginny shifted in the hospital bed, sitting up with a wince, "we need to talk about a few very important things that don't involve the boys."

Hermione nodded. She had expected that this would be coming.

"First," Ginny smiled suspiciously, "is this why you suddenly have a crush on Lupin? Because you've been spending so much time with him?" Her face lit up with a thought, "_Merlin_, have you seen him naked?"

Hermione hushed Ginny quickly, checking over her shoulder to make sure that no one was nearby. She turned back to her friend. "Where do you get the idea that I've seen him naked?" she whispered, outraged.

"Well you two have been spending the full moons together, right? I mean, there isn't much room for clothing with that whole transformation thing. Bloody hell, he's probably seen _you_ naked too!"

"Shhhh!" Hermione checked over her shoulder again, and this time she made sure to cast a sound muffling charm around the pair of them. Madam Pomfrey had set up privacy wards around Ginny's bed, but that didn't ensure that Madam Pomfrey herself couldn't hear what they were talking about.

"Alright," Hermione breathed, looking at Ginny pointedly, "no, I have not actually seen him naked, and I don't think he's seen me naked either. We like to give each other at least a little privacy."

Ginny narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but finally accepted the response, shaking her head and moving on. "Okay, forget about that part, what about this crush you have on him? Has anything happened?"

Hermione couldn't help the blush that rose up in her cheeks and the way her eyes darted towards the ground.

"Merlin's balls!" Ginny nearly leapt out of the bed with excitement, "What happened? Did he kiss you? Did you kiss him?"

"Calm down, Ginny," Hermione chided mildly. The redhead sat back quickly, eager to hear the story. Hermione took a deep breath. "Well, I don't know how much you know about being a werewolf, but one of the side effects of the full moon is a heightened sex drive, decreased impulse control, and just a lot of general frustration."

Ginny's smirk grew broader. "So basically you were both extremely horny."

"No… well… yes, I guess so, but I don't like to call it that." Hermione sputtered, cringing. "Anyway, I guess I had just been developing this crush on him for a while and then before one of the full moons I just- well, I kissed him."

Ginny squealed. "A _Professor_, Hermione. Did he kiss back?"

Hermione was cringing again. "Yeah, sort of. But it was only a few seconds and then he realized what was going on and then he was upset about it and it got rather awkward."

"So have you talked about it? Has anything else happened?"

"We talked about it briefly," Hermione said, proceeding to explain their conversation the morning after their full moon. Ginny was pleased with Hermione's bravery and slight flirtation with Remus despite everything that had happened. To be honest, Hermione was quite proud of herself for that as well.

Hermione also explained how they had formed a bit of a routine of spending evenings in his quarters. Ginny was in disbelief at the fact that Hermione had literally been sneaking to her Professor's private rooms for weeks and hadn't tried anything. Hermione then told her friend about what had happened the previous night and the fact that she had slept on the same couch as him and Ginny was even angrier. "It wasn't like that," Hermione offered uselessly, "I was upset and he was probably upset too and if I had tried to kiss him again it would have just ruined everything."

Ginny nodded, "yeah, I suppose you're right. He's always been one to stick to the rules and feel really bad if he does something wrong. So what's the plan now?"

"That's where I'm lost," Hermione admitted, falling back in her chair. "It's hard to be around him and act normally, and I know that he'll push me away again if I try anything. Even _I_ feel wrong wanting to try something- I feel wrong _liking_ him so much."

"Don't," Ginny said shortly, "the way I see it, it's perfectly understandable for you to form this type of bond with him after everything the two of you have been through together. Besides, graduation is only a little over two weeks away!"

It was true; graduation was looming closer than ever, just like the N.E.W.T.s. Hermione decided then and there that she needed to focus on her studies. She had two weeks in which it was essential that she made sure to be prepared and to also prepare Harry and Ron for their exams. She could worry about Remus after the term was over.

The girls sat in silence for a few more moments. Hermione finally broke it, "are you mad that I didn't tell you earlier?"

Ginny shook her head. "We already established that; how could I be mad at you about something like this? If I'm mad about anything it's that I was the last person to learn about it, but that's my own fault for being unconscious."

Hermione chuckled despite herself. "It's not your fault for being unconscious. You know that it really probably is mine. I should have been there with you. Malfoy was looking for me, after all."

"Hermione," Ginny stopped her sharply, "don't go around blaming yourself. You know as well as anybody how useless blame is when you're not really the one at fault.

"You know," Hermione mused, studying the knitting of her jumper, "it's funny how much guilt I've had to deal with lately, both on my part and from other people. It's such a terrible emotion. I really hate it." Reality was setting back in, and Hermione felt a weight drift back down onto her shoulders. She craved Remus' soothing presence, half-formed memories of sleeping against him the previous night playing through her mind.

"Don't worry," Ginny murmured, sensing Hermione's change in mood, "we'll sort all of this out in the end. It'll be okay."

* * *

><p>In the following days Hermione threw herself into studying for N.E.W.T.s, dragging Harry and Ron into her intense revising routine as well. The trio spent nearly every day after classes in the library. Hermione's research into the Wolfsbane and her time in Snape's lab was nearly forgotten entirely.<p>

Despite being immensely stressed about the upcoming exams, Hermione was glad that things were happening the way they were. She couldn't say how happy she was to be back to her normal closeness with Harry and Ron. Ginny, also, was someone Hermione was thankful to have close again. Ginny allowed Hermione to talk more freely about Remus or the intricacies of the Lycanthropy than she ever could with the boys.

Another unquestionable perk was the fact that she no longer had to hide the changes that her lycanthropy caused. She was able to tell them when she was feeling tired or share with them how the full moon cycle was having an effect. It was all together much easier, making her question why she hadn't divulged her secret weeks ago.

The days leading up to N.E.W.T.s and the ending of the school year passed with several interesting changes around Hogwarts. In the days after the incident with Ginny many rumors had been started, some outrageous and some surprisingly close to the truth.

Students had seen Hermione's harried assault on Draco in the Great Hall and her nearly dragging him out into the corridor. Students had also noticed that Dumbledore, McGonagall, Remus, and Snape were all missing from dinner that same night, engaged in the impromptu Order meeting in the Hospital Wing. To add onto that, someone spotted Ginny in the hospital wing the following day.

These hints resulted in some truly outrageous rumors. One of the most surprising that Hermione heard whispers of was a bunch of Gryffindor sixth years who were convinced that Ginny had been cheating on Harry with Draco Malfoy and he'd been abusive and landed her in the Hospital Wing. Hermione made sure to dispel this rumor as soon as she heard it. Another rumor was rather close to the mark, students knowing of Draco Malfoy's suspected allegiances to the inner circle of Death Eaters and his long-standing rivalry with Harry Potter and his friends. Hermione tried her best to ignore these stories. She considered herself especially lucky that Evan, the Head Boy, was very respecting of her privacy and, despite being as curious as anyone, he didn't question her.

The rumors did persist about what had happened, though, and Draco Malfoy was suddenly the subject of a lot of speculation. It was about that time when he decided to become a complete recluse. Hermione didn't see him for meals for several days in a row, and never saw him in the corridors at all. Even during the classes that they had together, he would always slip in as late as possible and sit in the back of the room silently. It was almost as if he didn't exist.

That was until about a five days after the original incident, when he decided to come out of the shadows and approach Hermione.

She had been in the library alone, expecting Harry, Ron, and Ginny to be there soon for some N.E.W.T. prep. Ginny had taken a liking to accompanying them to the library since being released from the Hospital Wing because she wanted to spend time with Harry.

Hermione was studiously working at her usual table, scrawling away at the Ancient Runes essay when suddenly a pair of unfamiliar footsteps caught her attention.

She looked up to find Draco Malfoy approaching, his Slytherin Robes neatly arranged over his thin form and his hair combed impeccably. He was back to his usual standards despite the reclusiveness. Hermione eyed him warily as he approached, arriving at her table and stopping. "May I have a seat?" he asked, his voice just the picture of propriety and Pureblood manners.

Hermione nodded, watching as he sat down. Under the table she flicked her wand, putting up a subtle muffling and obscuring charm. Anyone who wasn't looking for them wouldn't notice them at all. It wouldn't do for the pair of them to be seen together in the library talking; that would only serve to create more rumors.

"You seem to be getting back to your old self," she observed, knowing that it was only half-true. He looked like his old self and he acted like his old self now, but other than that he'd been nothing more than a ghost.

"I may not leave my dormitory much as of these last few days, but when I do I must to keep up appearances." He spoke with the air of a Malfoy, almost nauseatingly like his father. For a moment Hermione thought it was real.

"Cut it out, Malfoy," she said suddenly, "I put up privacy wards. Why are you here?"

He looked around them, inspecting the foggy veil around their table that signified Hermione's spellwork. After seeing it, his posture drooped and his firm, arrogant expression faded away. He suddenly looked tired and human again. "I came to apologize," he said, his voice raw with the undertones of emotion, "I think it's about time that I do that, and Professor Snape feels the same way."

She narrowed her eyes, but didn't speak.

He spoke as if this was a meticulously planned speech, thought over and practiced to himself dozens of times. "Over these past few months I've come to realize that there have been a lot of things wrong with my life and the way I live. I was brainwashed from the beginning of my life. People like my father pushed these terrible ideas on me, just as I'm sure my father's father pushed these ideas on him. It's a cycle, I suppose, and I want to break it. I know that I've done some awful things to you and your friends, and I probably don't deserve forgiveness, so I'm not asking for it. I just wanted to apologize."

Hermione wondered if Snape had helped him put this little speech together. She eyed him for a long moment before nodding. "Thank-you, Draco."

He was taken aback. "Oh- um- you're welcome."

"I'm sorry as well," she said, meeting his gaze, "I shouldn't have been so rough with you, especially in front of everyone in the Great Hall."

He shook his head, "It's fine. If you suspected I was behind something like that- well, I understand why you acted the way you did."

Hermione smiled. This was going much better than anything she'd ever expected. Snape must have really put Draco in his place to get him to do this. She wanted to tell Draco how proud of him she was, but figured that was pushing it a little. She didn't know Draco very well, but she did know that he did not appreciate condescension at all.

He shifted awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and stumbling over his words, "um, do you- do you know where I could find Weasley? Ginny, that is."

Hermione arched a brow at him.

"I just- I wanted to apologize to her as well, for my father and for everything, really."

Trying to restrain her triumphant grin, Hermione thought for a moment, looking towards the entrance to the Library. Sure enough, she spotted the slightly obscured forms of Harry, Ron, and Ginny entering the room. "If you want to apologize I think you'll have your chance right now," she said, smiling and picking up her wand hand to temporarily take down the wards so the others could find them. Draco followed her gaze and paled at the sight of all three of them. He definitely hadn't intended to face Harry and Ron in this as well, but Hermione hoped that he would take it all in stride.

"Hermione," Ginny smiled, spotting Draco and looking more than suspicious, "is everything alright?"

"Yes," Hermione replied politely, motioning to the empty seats at the table for the three of them to take. "Draco and I were just talking. I think he actually has something he'd like you to hear." She looked at Draco, giving him a covert nod.

Draco shifted from foot to foot, looking at Harry and Ron before zeroing in on Ginny. "I'd like to apologize," he began briskly, and Hermione could tell that it was a struggle to keep his voice as void of emotion as it was, "because of my father and also because of myself." He proceeded to give roughly the same speech that he'd given Hermione, with a few minor variations.

After Draco stopped Harry, Ron, and Ginny all stared at him in something akin to stunned silence. He looked to Hermione now, unsure of quite what to do next. Hermione was once again surprised by how much his attitude had changed that he was now seeking out her assistance where as before he'd never even wanted to consider asking her for help in anything. She really wondered what Snape had said to him. It had to be something big if it was going to allow him to swallow his pride and break down his arrogance. Hermione nodded to him, offering a half-smile to let him know that it was okay now, he could leave.

Draco turned around and made his way away from the table, exiting Hermione's wards in a way that caused a ripple in the hazy veil around their table. Once he was gone all eyes turned to Hermione.

"So are you going to explain what that was about?" Ron asked once he was fed up with the silence.

Hermione didn't try to restrain her smug smirk, "I told you that I thought I'd gotten through to him, didn't I?"

"What are you talking about?" Ginny spoke up, glancing at where Draco had just been in disbelief, "I swear that was one of the strangest things I've ever experienced…"

Hermione, realizing that she had neglected to explain Draco's part in all of this, explained everything to Ginny. Both of the boys sat there looking like they had terrible headaches and their whole world had been turned upside down. "Malfoy… _apologizing_?" Harry whispered in disbelief.

"He apologized because he's learned the error of his ways," Hermione said, crossing her arms, "and I think that if you all don't want my work with him to go to waste you should try to be at least a little nicer to him in the future."

"So _he's_ your latest project," Ron said, leaning back in his chair and eyeing her. "I was wondering what replaced Spew."

"S.P.E.W., Ronald," Hermione corrected.

"Okay, okay," Ron waved her off, "just- how do you know that this isn't all an act and he's only trying to manipulate us to trust him?"

"I don't know for sure, of course," she admitted, "but I have a really good feeling about it, Ron, and it's not like we're putting ourselves in danger simply by letting him apologize to us."

"I don't know," Harry murmured, "what if he just wants us to let our guard down?"

"Don't be ridiculous, we're not letting our guard down," Hermione snapped. "We're just being… nicer. But enough of that, we need to get down to business and start revising. You boys are far behind on your Transfiguration review."

With a few grumbled complaints, the boys pushed Draco Malfoy out of their minds and got down to studying. Hermione knew that it would be a topic of conversation later, and she would have to come up with more definitive proof of Draco's true allegiances, both for the boys and for herself.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I'm pretty sure some of my immense love of Ginny Weasley showed through in the writing of this chapter. That scene between Hermione and Ginny has been a long time coming, and it was always going to be an important one. Sorry that there's no Remus/Hermione interaction in this chapter, but I think you'll be pleased to know that there's _plenty_ of interaction in the next chapter… interaction that involves the two of them in a rather compromising position…


	13. The Quidditch Final

**XIII**

The Quidditch Final

* * *

><p>The Quidditch final came quicker than anyone expected. Hermione found herself quite amused by the fact that the boys and Ginny had all dissolved into a state of terrible stress over the game. Their anxiety concerning Quidditch almost rivaled Hermione's anxiety concerning N.E.W.T.s, and that was saying something.<p>

The Quidditch game was set to be Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff for the Quidditch Cup. Hermione was aware that she didn't know that much about Quidditch, but she was fairly confident going into the match that Gryffindor was going to win. The Gryffindor team, in all their anxiety, was much less confident.

On the day of the match Hermione was pleased to see that many extra security measures were being taken around Hogwarts. She'd been quite worried about the game being a possible opportunity for Lucius Malfoy, who was surely growing tremendously frustrated by now, to attack again. However, on the morning of the match several Order members were spotted around Hogwarts, there to ensure that everything went smoothly.

Hermione, knowing that she owed her friends some extra support after her absence, made her way down to the Pitch early in the day, watching them warm up from the stands while catching up with some friends that she hadn't seen in a while due to her rigorous study schedule. Practically the whole Gryffindor House had come down to the pitch early to cheer on the team. Hermione spent a lot of time talking with Neville about his Herbology work, resisting the urge to consult him about her Wolfsbane research. After this, she headed down towards the entrance to the pitch, where she spotted Remus approaching with a large black dog trailing behind him.

"Remus!" she hissed, pulling him away from the gathering crowd of spectators. "Seriously? He didn't even disillusion himself?" She glanced at Padfoot with disapproval. Harry had been talking for weeks about how excited he was for Sirius to attend the match. Hermione had, for some reason, assumed that he'd actually be taking further precautions than just changing into his Animagus form.

Sirius barked at her playfully, not appearing to care at all about the possible danger he was. Remus rubbed his temples, "I tried, he just- he doesn't listen sometimes." The pair of them watched as Sirius started trotting around, sniffing the ground and inspecting a group of giggling Hufflepuff girls as they entered the Pitch. Sure enough, all the girls stopped to pet the dog, probably thinking nothing out of the ordinary about the fact that a big, ominous beast had accompanied Professor Lupin to the Quidditch Pitch. "You know he loves this sort of thing," Remus murmured, standing beside her as they watched Padfoot play, "Dumbledore still doesn't let him go out all that much."

It was true. Hermione knew that Sirius' forced confinement was something he had been struggling with for a very long time. She turned to Remus. "Speaking of Dumbledore, have you spoken to him? Are you sure all of this is safe?" She gestured to the pitch and the crowd of people.

Remus exhaled, looking around. Hermione took a moment to admire the way he looked in the sunlight, healthy and recovered from the full moon. She chided herself a second later for getting distracted. "Look over there," he said; pointing to the far-off distance where a cloaked figure stood, "that's Tonks." He pointed to a point on the opposite end of the pitch, "Way over there- that's Mad Eye, I think." His eyes searched the horizon for several seconds more. "Kingsley, Fletcher, Doge, Jones, and a few others are here as well. Plus," he turned back to her, inclining his head down to meet her gaze, "you've got Snape, Dumbledore, and all the other Professors around here. It'll be fine, Hermione. Have some fun."

She smiled reluctantly, her eyes falling on Sirius once again. "I'll try," she murmured, crinkling her nose in distaste when he started kicking up dirt right in front of them, on a wild mission to dig up something buried deep underground.

Soon the student started buzzing with excitement and Hermione knew that the match was beginning. "I should go sit down," she said, glancing up at Remus.

He nodded, not quite meeting her eyes. She could tell that despite the conversation they'd just held, there was still some awkwardness between them and Remus surely felt uncomfortable after what had happened the other night. Sirius barked at her in some sort of goodbye as she backed away. She looked at the giant dog sternly then, trying to put on her best authoritative face. "No trouble making," she ordered. He barked at her again, excitedly kicking up more dirt from the ground. With one last pointed look at Remus, Hermione was off.

The match began quickly, and Hermione was surprised by how excited she got. Despite being worried about safety and checking the surroundings of the Pitch every once in a while, she became quite involved in the match. It was, after all, the last Quidditch match she would ever experience as a student at Hogwarts, along with what would probably be the last competitive match Harry and Ron would play.

The game started slowly. Hufflepuff had developed a new strategy, which required a lot of passing just to keep everything away from any of the Gryffindor players. It appeared to be very frustrating to the Gryffindor team at first, causing a few too many fouls and some irritated mistakes. As time wore on, however, the lions started to regain their balance. Gryffindor racked up points, and the Hufflepuff team grew tired. Ron was doing excellent Keeper work, blocking many points that could have given Hufflepuff an advantage. Late in the game, while Gryffindor had a fairly large lead, Harry caught the snitch, effectively ending the game.

The crowds dissolved into roaring cheers from the Gryffindors. A large portion of the Ravenclaw house was also in attendance, and most of them appreciated the victory, cheering happily with the rest of the crowd.

Hermione watched the skies and her surroundings closely as she made her way down to the base of the pitch, where a large crowd had gathered to congratulate the winning team. Harry and Ron were currently being vaulted around on the shoulders of their teammates. Hermione smiled at this, glad that they could have their time for glory, as it was their last game.

As she approached the crowd with Neville and Luna, Hermione also spotted a large black dog bolting out onto the pitch, tongue lolling out of its mouth as it traipsed toward the crowd. She mentally cursed Sirius for rushing into a crowd of students who could possibly recognize him or raise attention to the fact that this strange, grim-looking dog had shown up at the match. However, she knew that this was a very important time for Harry, and it was making him happier than almost everything else that Sirius was here to share it with him. She wouldn't spoil this for them as long as Sirius remained in the form of Padfoot and nothing unexpected happened.

"Hermione!" Ginny cried, rushing over and hugging her friend tightly.

"Congratulations!" Hermione grinned. She'd never appreciated Quidditch much in the beginning of her time at Hogwarts, but over the years she'd grown to enjoy it, mostly because it made her friends so happy. "It was a great match," she said, hugging Ginny back.

"They both did so well," Ginny said, looping her arm through Hermione's and turning to face the rest of the crowd. The redhead was obviously in a great mood not only because they'd won, but also because a reluctant Madam Pomfrey had agreed to let her play in the match after all.

Harry and Ron were now safely back on earth. Sirius had found Harry and was nipping at his ankles and barking excitedly. "It's going to be quite a night for the Gryffindor house," Ginny mused.

Hermione nodded thoughtfully. Every year the older students from the house that won the Quidditch Cup were known to throw a wild party in the common room. She had tried to ignore any talk she'd heard about the party over the past couple of days, but she'd garnered enough information to know that there was quite a bit in store.

Sure enough, the group of students out on the pitch soon began migrating back towards the school. Hermione barely had a moment to speak to Harry and Ron before Ginny dragged them off to the locker room to change. Hermione was left standing on the pitch, watching everyone make his or her way back up the path to Hogwarts. Padfoot soon joined her, whining and tilting his head up at her. She took it to mean that he wanted her to accompany him back outside the pitch. Hermione followed the large black dog slowly. Once they were just near the entrance of the pitch, Remus rushed over.

"_Sirius_!" he hissed, "you can't just run off like that into a crowd of students!" Hermione was amused at how similar he sounded to herself. "Hello, Hermione," he looked to her briefly before pulling Sirius away, back towards the castle.

Hermione waited at the pitch until Harry, Ron, and Ginny came back out of the locker room, not wanting to leave them alone after what had happened only about a week ago with Ginny. Together, the group made their way back up to the castle and then towards the Gryffindor tower, Harry, Ron, and Ginny raving the whole time about how much fun they were going to have tonight.

The Common Room was full of loud music and happy students. Ron quickly rushed off with Lavender, who was quite excited to enjoy the party with him. Hermione didn't know why, but the passing look that Lavender gave her made her irritated. Soon she was pulled into a very close crowd of students and being offered a shot of something that looked suspiciously like Firewhisky by a very inebriated Seamus Finnigan. Hermione politely refused the drink, watching as Ginny took it in her place, downing it in one quick gulp.

The party only served to make Hermione anxious the longer she was there. She didn't plan on staying long; only enough to let the boys know that she was happy for them and to make sure that it wasn't going to get too crazy. She _was_ Head Girl, after all. She didn't want to get the whole house in trouble only a few weeks before the winner of the House Cup would be decided. Besides, she had a sneaking suspicion that Harry and Ron had been the ones to bring some of the Firewhisky into the Common Room and that Sirius may or may not have played a part in getting the alcohol for the boys.

"You should have a drink Hermione!" Ginny said, interrupting Hermione's thoughts while she danced gracelessly with Harry. Harry just grinned and looked around the room and at Ginny as if he was more content than he'd ever been in his life, not even noticing the conversation between Ginny and Hermione.

"I'm Head Girl," Hermione said pointedly, looking at Ginny with raised eyebrows.

"Alright, alright," Ginny replied, "I only said it because you look uncomfortable."

Hermione talked to her friends for a while, socializing and trying to have at least a little fun. It didn't work very well, however, because most of the time the only thing she could think about was the fact that she didn't like being around so many people and how badly she wished she could be sitting in the peace and quiet of Remus' rooms right now. She could just imagine him at this very moment, reading a book in front of the fireplace, a cup of warm tea at his side and another one waiting for her.

After being in the party and mulling over these thoughts for what felt like an eternity, Hermione decided that she wasn't going to sit around in her own little bubble of discomfort anymore. With a bold spring in her step, she made her way over to Seamus, who'd somehow taken up the position of impromptu bartender. He wore his Gryffindor tie around his head in the silliest way possible, pouring drinks for everyone who passed by. Hermione momentarily wondered where all the younger students were and how he made sure not to give a drink to anyone too young. A part of her knew that she should be lecturing him and actually fulfilling her duties as Head Girl, but a larger part of her was sick of that role and wanted to do something rash.

"Granger!" He grinned suavely, "Fancy a drink?"

She didn't even respond, just took the shot of whisky he extended to her and downed it in one gulp. It burned going down her throat, and she had to resist the urge to cough. When the acrid taste was somewhat gone from her mouth, she found another shot just in front of her. She looked up at Seamus, seeing his broad grin, and heard a whooping shout of encouragement from Ginny across the room. She nodded once more, taking the shot and downing it.

Ginny pulled Hermione away from Seamus then, dragging her into the middle of the crowd where Harry, standing on top of one of the tables of the Common Room, was holding the Quidditch Cup in his arms. Hermione didn't know when he'd been given the cup or how exactly that had happened, but he'd somehow ended up with it in the Common Room. She thought that perhaps McGonagall had been very pleased with how everything had gone over and, knowing that there was bound to be a celebration, had told Harry to take it to the Common Room.

Harry hoisted the large silver trophy cup into the air, enticing a roaring cheer from all the students in the Common Room. After a fairly long moment of glory for Harry, he kissed the cup proudly and passed it along to Ron, who stood beside him. Ron hoisted the cup in the air in much the same way Harry had, kissing it on the side and passing it along to the nearest teammate, Ginny. Along it went, to each player on the team and then after all the players had their turn it went to the rest of the Gryffindors, everyone kissing it proudly and passing it along. While this routine continued, Ginny ran over to fetch two more shots, one for each of them. They drank.

Hermione found herself quite enjoying the ritual, beginning to cheer and holler with each person that received the cup. She knew the alcohol was affecting her when she allowed Ginny to pull her into a dance of happiness, falling into an affectionate hug with Harry and Ginny a moment later.

"I can't believe we'll be leaving Hogwarts soon," she mumbled, not knowing exactly to whom she was speaking.

"I know," Harry replied, a sloppy, intoxicated grin on his face. Something told Hermione that the Firewhisky had been a little more potent than anyone had anticipated, but she found that she didn't really care.

It wasn't much longer that Hermione stayed at the party. She didn't quite know why, but Remus had popped back into her head after spotting Ron and Lavender snogging in a corner, and without much time to ruminate over it, she was leaving the Common Room, slipping outside into the darkened corridor and setting herself at a brisk pace towards the DADA wing.

She didn't think about how rash she was acting or how she'd just drank a decent amount of Firewhisky. The only thing she thought about was how much she wanted to see him and how much she needed to tell him how she felt. Yes… she wanted to tell him how she felt. The only problem was that she didn't quite know how she felt or what exactly she was going to say to him.

She knocked on the door to his office without giving herself time to hesitate. It was a few seconds before she could hear footsteps approaching the other side of the door and it slipped open. His eyebrows lifted upon seeing her, and the door cracked open wider. He was surprised that she was here.

"Can I come in?" She spoke quickly, before he could get a word in.

Remus hesitated and for a moment she wondered if she'd made a mistake in her judgment and maybe Sirius was still inside his rooms… or maybe someone else was in there. For a moment of horror, she wondered if he had another woman over. But Remus made no indication that anyone else was present. He simply opened the door further, allowing her to enter. "Is everything alright?"

She nodded, stepping inside and waiting for him to close the door. Suddenly her mind was a very cluttered mess and she couldn't figure out how to put any appropriate words together. The idea to come to his rooms had seemed so good only a few moments ago, but now it was hard for her to get her thoughts straight and she was realizing that she hadn't been alone with him since that night they'd slept on the couch.

He was studying her with a perplexed expression, still standing just in front of the closed door. Hermione was only a few paces away from him, and his proximity inspired her to do something that she knew was either fantastically wonderful or terribly, _horribly_ awful. She would later learn that it didn't have to be just one of the two; it could be both wonderful and awful at the same time.

And it was.

With her heart beating in her ears, Hermione stepped forward. She was reminded briefly of the time during the last full moon when she'd done the same thing. The only difference was that the impending full moon, while probably playing a part in this course of action, was not the main motivator here. It was alcohol.

"Hermione-" Remus began, cut off when she moved in closer, her lips meeting his in a kiss that was simultaneously awkward and graceful. She'd be lying to herself if she said that she hadn't been thinking about doing this again for weeks. And here she was.

Remus was frozen in place, paralyzed for a few long seconds. Hermione took that time to shift herself closer to him, one hand coming up to brazenly tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck. He reacted then, his lips moving against hers for a split second with the same intensity that she was kissing him. Suddenly his hands were moving up from their limp positions at his sides, and he was pulling her closer to him than before, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her with a ferocity that she'd only ever dreamed of. His hands began to move, roving over her back and sides as if he desperately wanted to feel more of her. Hermione reveled in how powerful it made her feel. It was the second time that something like this had happened, but it felt _new_ and _better_.

She had no idea of how long they were like this, standing in the middle of his sitting room kissing with an intensity that she wouldn't fully realize until much later. After what felt like only an instant, however, he jerked back roughly.

Hermione let out a little cry of protest before she could hold it back. He staggered backwards in a way that she knew all too well. The memory of what had happened so many weeks ago flashed through her mind, and all the stupid similarities made her heart sink. She'd done it _again_.

"You've been drinking." He said it as if he'd only just tasted the Firewhisky on her tongue. He was breathing heavily, his shoulders heaving with the effort. Despite all the conflicting emotions in his eyes, there was one that dominated over all the rest. Hermione didn't think that anyone had ever looked at her with such lust. She stepped forward almost instinctively, needing to be touching him again.

He staggered back once more, putting up a hand to stop her. His expression was now one of broken will and desperate fear. "You need to go, Hermione. It's too close to the full moon," he rasped, taking another step backward, "for both of us."

She suddenly felt terrible and frightened. Not knowing where this onslaught of emotion came from, she wracked her brain for an answer. He was watching her carefully, and she felt like he was waiting for her to say something. "I-" she began, breaking off with a shaky breath, "I'm sorry. Ever since- since all of this happened I haven't really had anything or anyone except you and- I don't know. I'm sorry." She cursed herself for her fumbling words. When her vision began to get blurry she thought that it was just the alcohol, but then she realized that she was also crying. She cursed herself for that as well.

"How much have you had to drink?" he asked, his voice changing into something of sadness and concern.

She shook her head in an attempt to dismiss the question, wiping her eyes and training her gaze on the floor now. "Not that much," she finally murmured.

He was silent for a long time. Hermione eventually lifted her eyes from the ground and looked at him. He wore a heavily conflicted expression, watching at her as if he was confused and lost and angry and sad all at the same time. "This can't keep happening," he said, his voice filled with self-hatred as he whirled around and began to pace in a small circle, "you don't know what you're getting into, Hermione, and I will not be the teacher that _fucks_ a student." The way he said the word "fuck" was brutal and raw.

She couldn't help but shiver, bringing her arms to wrap around her torso and wishing that she had been wearing heavier clothes. "I'm sorry," she repeated, sifting through all the thoughts in her head for something that would be acceptable to say to him. "Everything has been so confusing and difficult lately," she choked out, "and you're the first person who has truly helped me through this and I've gone and ruined it all-" She broke off, realizing suddenly that this conversation would go nowhere good from here.

Remus seemed to be thinking the same thing. Not a moment later he was leading her gently toward the doorway, a more softened expression on his face. "It's too late at night, too close to the full moon," he repeated, reaching out a hand to grasp hers lightly. "You should go, Hermione."

He was opening the door, and she was feeling her heart sink even deeper than before. Despite being embarrassed and knowing that every moment she stayed here was another moment that would bring nothing good for either of them, she couldn't leave just yet. "Will I still see you tomorrow?" she asked shakily, "during the full moon?" A large part of her feared that he would say no, and it was almost terrifying to imagine facing the moon without him.

"Of course, Hermione," he replied, and his voice was soft and kind and made her want to melt.

There was another question lingering in her mind, but she knew that she couldn't ask. It still fogged up her thoughts as she wandered back to her dormitory and climbed into bed. In her dreams she was back there with him and she actually had the courage to say it. "_Wait for me," _she whispered, "_please_."

But before he could respond the dream faded away and it was morning and she had a headache.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Can you feel the angst? Some of you may be happy to hear that this is the last super angsty scene. Soon things start to get happier. After all, a drawn-out romance isn't complete without the eventual happiness! Next up: N.E.W.T.s.


	14. learning the last bright routes

**XIV**

learning the last bright routes

* * *

><p>Remus watched with a tired sort of interest as the many students of Hogwarts made their way into the Great Hall. It was easy to see that most of the student population was terribly stressed, either about N.E.W.T.s, O.W.L.s, or their regular. The tables were not only covered in food this morning, but also books, parchment, and various other materials necessary for last minute studying. Exams started today after breakfast, and after that there were only a few days until the seventh years graduated and the school vacated.<p>

Sitting at the staff table, Remus' eye was caught by a particular group of seventh years all the way across the room. Hermione Granger led the pack, appearing to be in the middle of an extended lecture about something. Harry and Ron tailed her on either side, listening avidly and trying to internalize the information. Remus watched Hermione as she took her usual seat at the Gryffindor table, responding to a question Harry had just posed by retrieving a large textbook from her book bag and showing him a passage in it.

She looked like she had recovered fairly well from the full moon two nights ago. Her demeanor was less tired, but more stressed. While it was unlucky for the full moon to fall so close to N.E.W.T.s, Remus was glad that she had all of yesterday to recover. He'd had some time to recover as well, and was feeling substantially better. There was still, however, an ache in his bones and a slight reoccurring headache that had been bothering him this morning. Other than that, the full moon was behind him. He considered himself fortunate since this month had been shaping up to have a potentially very bad full moon. Stress and a lack of sleep usually contributed to a rough night, and after what had happened with Hermione the evening of the Quidditch Final, he'd expected many of these things to bother both of them.

Still keeping an eye on Hermione and her friends, Remus briefly remembered what happened that very night.

He deeply regretted losing control with her, even if it was only for a few moments. During that time, however, two things had been made very clear to Remus. One: that he could no longer deny his attraction to Hermione granger, and two: that she was also quite attracted to him. He knew that this made for a very bad situation that they were in, especially since Remus feared Hermione's boldness and bravery. She would do things like kiss him late at night in his private quarters with the full moon only a couple days away because she was just that much of a Gryffindor.

_She's only your student for about a week more._

The traitorous voice whispering in Remus' mind made him want to rage with anger and shiver with a strange sort of anticipation. She was still his student. She was still eighteen years old. She was still James' son's best friend. She was still the girl he had infected with Lycanthropy.

Hermione was now talking nearly nonstop to Harry and Ron. The boys nodded their heads occasionally to convey that they were following, but Remus could tell that they'd been lost. Hermione continued explaining whatever it was, referencing the open book in front of her and making broad gestures with her hands in a way that was uniquely hers. Remus stamped down the fond smile that threatened to overtake his face. He needed to start acting more normal. It would be dire if someone found out about what was going on between them, whatever it was.

His eyes only strayed to Hermione about five times more over the course of breakfast.

* * *

><p>"Hermione," Ron groaned, rubbing his eyes as if that would help him decipher the book in his lap, "can you please explain it again?" The large window behind him was dark, proving that the sun had set hours ago. It was late in the night, and the trio was still in the library.<p>

The witch sighed, leaning over the table and pointing to the most important passage. "These two paragraphs are key, Ronald. If you're going to learn anything about psychological agents, it's that."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked, running a hand through his haphazardly mussed hair, "I still don't get the part about Grille's Law and I think I'm completely lost because of it."

Hermione sighed, pushing the enticing thoughts of her bed away for a moment as she tried to explain the various potion-making concepts to the boys. They'd survived three exams so far – four for Hermione – and Potions was right away tomorrow morning. Coming into N.E.W.T.s, Hermione had known that Potions would be one of the more challenging of exams for the boys, especially for Ron. They had been studying since five o'clock that afternoon; shortly the Defense Against the Dark arts exam had ended. It was half ten now.

"It's really quite simple as long as you understand that the law states that a psychologically effectual potion must have a catalyst, an active agent." Hermione finished, looking at both of the boys with an accomplished smile on her face. She was glad that at least some of her research and work on the Wolfsbane earlier this year was paying off now. She didn't think she'd ever felt more prepared for an exam.

Harry nodded slowly. Hermione could tell that he didn't completely understand it, but she figured that this was good enough. Ron seemed to be in the same state, and Hermione knew that they would be getting no more work done tonight with where his mind was wandering. "We should go down to the kitchens and get some food," he murmured, confirming her suspicions, "or call a house elf."

"Go down to the kitchens yourself. The house elves are already overworked as it is," Hermione said, beginning to pack up her books and place them in her bag. "I think that's quite enough for tonight. We'll always have breakfast tomorrow to go over the rest of this."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, stretching out and packing up his things as well.

"Are we going to the kitchens?" Ron asked, watching his friends forlornly.

Harry sighed, "I'll go with you, Ron."

The trio started to make their way out of the library, walking together on the same path. Hermione's dormitory was on the way to Harry and Ron's secret passage into the kitchens.

"Are your parents coming to graduation, Hermione?" Harry asked as they walked.

Hermione nodded slowly. "I owled them the other day. They said Dumbledore's already been in contact and arranged for and Order member to pick them up and bring them here." She watched the ground as she walked, thinking over what this meant. Graduation was only several days away. Hermione hadn't seen her parents since the Winter Holidays. She felt so disconnected from that time, like she'd been a completely different person back then. How could she face them now?

"You still haven't told them, huh?" Harry asked, giving her a sidelong glance. He was concerned. Ron did as well, watching her out of the corner of his eye, his pursuit of food temporarily forgotten.

She shook her head, glancing around to make sure that no one was within earshot. "I have to tell them soon, especially since I'll be living with them after graduation. I just…" she broke off, taking a shaky breath, "I honestly have no idea how they'll react."

Harry placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "If you'd like I could do it with you. I mean, I don't know if it would help but-"

"Thank you, Harry," she stopped him, "but I think it's something I'll have to do on my own. I can handle it, and I'm sure with time they'll understand the situation, but I fear their initial reaction."

She glanced over at Harry then, and found him staring straight ahead, smiling. She followed his gaze to see none other than Remus Lupin approaching, shuffling many stacks of paper under his arm and smiling at the trio. Despite his pleased expression, Hermione noticed that he was avoiding eye contact with her. It stung more than she cared to admit

"Hello, Remus," Harry smiled.

"Hello," he greeted the trio, "how did you think the exam went?"

Harry and Ron both started to describe what they thought the hardest parts of the Defense Against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T. were and how they thought they did. After they had finished, Remus looked at Hermione.

"I thought it went well," she said, putting on her best fake smile.

"You three are out late," he folded his arms, looking around at the barren, darkened corridor, "studying for tomorrow's exam?"

They nodded.

"I let you get back to that, then," he smiled again. Hermione watched as he moved down the corridor, no longer trying to mask her troubled expression. Just as she turned back to continue walking with Ron and Harry she caught Harry's eye. He was looking at her curiously.

"What?" she asked, perhaps a little too shrilly.

"Nothing," he shook his head, and she could see the faint hint of a smile on his face.

Ron was too far gone to notice anything. The portrait of a bowl of fruit was in sight, the entrance to the kitchens. "Finally," he breathed, "I'm bloody starving."

* * *

><p>Hermione barreled through the corridors of Hogwarts, down the stairs to the dungeons and into the Potions Classroom. She only stopped herself once she was halfway across the classroom, nearing the ajar door to Professor Snape's office. Slowing her footsteps and calming her rapid breathing, she knocked on the doorframe and peeked her head inside the office.<p>

Professor Snape sat at his desk alone. There was no Draco Malfoy this time, luckily, and from the looks of it he was in a relatively mediocre mood. Though, to be fair, it was very difficult to tell what mood Professor Snape was in due to his propensity to keep the same straight, dour expression at all times. Nevertheless, Hermione assumed that he must be in a decent mood because N.E.W.T.s had officially ended ten minutes ago and so had all other exams. The term was essentially over and soon he would be rid of all the students he so despised.

"Professor?" Hermione intoned, still leaning into the doorway, not daring to invite herself in.

"Granger," he replied in a tone that was almost something close to pleasant. Hermione took that as her invitation inside. She entered. He looked up at her after a moment, narrowing his eyes and scowling. "What is it? Haven't your exams ended? Shouldn't you be participating in one of those blasted drunken parties the seventh years always host after their exams?"

She didn't falter despite his scathing tone. "I didn't want to celebrate. I was actually in the middle of my Ancient Runes exam when I thought of something having to do with my research. I think I'm onto something, sir." Most of the reason she didn't want to go to the party was because there would doubtlessly be alcohol there and she did _not_ want a repeat experience. But it was also true that she had thought of something important during her Ancient Runes exam — which had ended not ten minutes ago — and she'd been struck by the most urgent need to consult Professor Snape about it and see if there was some good in her hypothesis.

Snape quirked an eyebrow. "The term has ended. What makes you think that I'm willing to allow you to use my lab for this research project of yours anymore? Besides, have you not neglected your work over the past two weeks? I haven't seen you in here once."

"Yes, but that was because Ginny and N.E.W.T.s and-" Hermione broke off, taking a deep breath and focusing her thoughts. "I know that I only have a few days left at the castle, but I really think I'm onto something and I would very much appreciate just a simple consultation about it."

He considered her for a moment before speaking sharply and impatiently. "What is it?"

She inhaled deeply, preparing to explain her realization. "I was thinking that throughout all of my research and the work I've been doing I've only really been looking at the potions and ingredients." Her excitement over this began to leak through her fast-talking and shrill tone. "I realized that I never actually thought about it in a more physical sense. I never actually considered all of the experiments I can do because of the fact that as a werewolf, I have all of these resources and experiments at my fingertips."

Snape's expression remained blank, but she could tell that he was considering what she had to say.

She elaborated, "I was thinking… why have I been only studying the potion ingredients and hypothesizing their effects when I can actually get a more accurate estimation of their effects by using myself?"

He narrowed his eyes slightly, looking down at his desk and frowning. "I'm afraid, Miss Granger," he sighed, as if deeply disappointed in her, "that what you've just told me sounds like a terrible idea."

"No, no, no," she held her hands up, "you don't understand. Let me explain: Potions interact with the blood mainly, right?" She was starting to pace in front of Snape's desk, her excitement spurring her into movement. "Well I have plenty of blood to use, and I can study the reaction of various ingredients to my blood, plus I can cross reference it to the reactions of normal human blood! It's the perfect way to figure out why I've hit a wall with ingredients negating the effects of the Monkshood."

He shook his head slowly, as if processing this information was particularly strenuous. Finally, he spoke. "I need some time to think about this. It's a dangerous path to go down, experimenting on yourself, Miss Granger." She wanted to tell him that she didn't want to experiment on _herself_, just her own blood, but she kept her mouth shut. "Nevertheless, I will think about it and you may return tomorrow to see if anything comes of this."

She grinned broadly. Despite desperately wanting to get to work on this tonight, she knew that she had to cooperate with Snape and she was genuinely shocked by how supportive he'd been so far. "Of course, Professor."

He shooed her away before she could ask for any more favors. Hermione made her way to the Gryffindor Common Room in a significantly better mood. Things were looking up. She'd finished all of her N.E.W.T.s, which, in the end had gone much better than she'd anticipated, and now Snape was allowing her to move forward with her research on the Wolfsbane. Yes, things were good right now.

Hermione entered the Gryffindor Common Room to find much the same scene that she'd experienced only a short time ago after the Quidditch final. She quickly found Harry, Ron, and Ginny among the crowd, made sure to refuse any suspicious beverages she was offered, and genuinely had a good night with her friends, knowing that there wouldn't be many more of these evenings spent in the Gryffindor Common Room. It was something to cherish for now.

* * *

><p>The day after N.E.W.T.s ended Hermione reported to Snape's office right after breakfast, bringing a few books she'd been looking at late the previous night and preparing to get a ton of work done. She was excited for it, her academic mind craving a new, more demanding project to take on. Snape was in a decent mood again, which she silently thanked the heavens for. He allowed her to come into his office and explain her theories in more depth, using the books she'd brought along and consulting him on various things in an attempt to design the experiment. He was rather supportive about it — well, he wasn't exceedingly supportive, but it was good enough above Snape's average level of enthusiasm to be considered supportive.<p>

Soon Hermione was off collecting ingredients from her own stores, making trips down to the Greenhouses to negotiate a few ingredients from Professor Sprout, and asking Snape for the few things she couldn't find. He allowed her to take a few relatively inexpensive and not-so-rare ingredients from his stores, but stoutly refused any other requests. It was okay, though; she was satisfied with this.

Her experiments began late that afternoon, pushed over into the following day. Harry and Ron and Ginny were all having a blast hanging around Hogwarts with nothing to do, just waiting for Graduation. They'd begun asking Hermione why she'd suddenly started disappearing again. She tried to explain to them that she was working on a project as ambiguously as possible. They were still suspicious of whatever was going on, but Hermione knew that if there was one secret she wanted to keep, it was her research.

Remus was an almost constant, unwavering subject of focus in her mind over the next few days. She desperately wanted to talk to him about all this work she was doing. She knew that he would love to hear about her latest hypothesis and she craved his consultation, but she also knew that now wasn't the right time. With the state of things lately it was obviously best that she kept her distance, at least until graduation. After graduation she didn't know quite what her plan was, but the possibilities were endless and during most of her free time over the past few days she'd been daydreaming about what she was going to do after she graduated and how all of this between Remus and herself might just work out. It was a hopeless sort of far-fetched fantasy, but she could dream.

As Hermione became more focused on the practical parts of these studies, Snape began to spend more and more time hovering over her while she worked in his lab. She didn't know if this was because he was worried that she would mess something up or if he was genuinely interested in where this was going. Either way, she was glad to have him present and she knew that this was an important step in their growing camaraderie.

Hermione was working diligently, lining up the ingredients she was going to be working with, a cauldron at her side with a constant brew of the basics of the Wolfsbane. She would be putting in various ingredients alone with the base potion and testing the reaction with her blood. It all sounded a bit disturbing when she really thought about what she was doing, and this was one of the main reasons why she suspected Snape was hovering at his desk in the lab right now.

"What is that?" He asked sharply, watching as Hermione pulled a syringe and needle out of her bag.

"I need to draw my blood," she replied simply, casting a spell to clean the needle. She'd transfigured it yesterday after copious amounts of research in some Muggle medical books she'd acquired a few months ago.

Professor Snape shifted at his desk, and she could tell that he was trying to get a better look at what she was doing. She hid her smile at what seemed to be concern over her. Rolling up the sleeve of her jumper on her right arm, she cleaned her arm at the crook of her elbow, looking at the blue vein under her skin and remembering what the medical book had said about drawing blood. It had only explained how the process of drawing someone else's blood worked, not how to draw one's own. Hermione figured that they were relatively the same thing, and it would probably be easy enough.

She poised the needle right in front of her vein, but she couldn't get a good angle on it, and she knew that with such an awkward position she wouldn't be able to get a decent amount of blood out.

With a scraping sound of a chair being slid backwards, Snape got up from behind his desk, stalking over and extending his open hand to her. "Give it to me," he drawled flatly, "I'll do it."

She looked up at him brazenly. "I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself."

He shook his head. "Give it to me. I can see that you've never done this before."

"And you have, sir?" she lifted an eyebrow.

He nodded once.

Hermione let out a breath, surrendering the needle and extending her arm. Despite feeling a bit helpless, she was glad that he was offering to do it.

With precise, calculated movements, he poised the needle at her vein and pushed it in. Hermione winced at the pinching feeling, but remained still. She watched as he pulled back on the base of the syringe, drawing a deep red liquid into the hallowed out syringe. Once he was finished, he methodically pulled the needle out and placed it on the table, retreating back to his desk. Hermione wiped off the bit of blood on her arm from the exit of the needle and smiled down at the syringe. That had actually gone pretty well. She was almost tempted to ask another favor… one she had been thinking about often over today and yesterday while preparing her research.

"Sir?" She began, looking up at him hopefully.

He picked his head up from his work. Despite his slight glare Hermione knew that he wasn't truly angry with her. "Yes?"

"Do you remember how I said that I'd like to cross reference my blood with normal human blood?"

He nodded, expression blank.

Hermione was certain that he knew where this was going. "Well," she continued, "the only people who know about this are Remus and yourself. Well, actually, Remus doesn't know about this part yet. But the point is that of the three of us you're the only one with normal human blood."

"You want my blood," he concluded flatly.

She nodded. This was obviously a lot to ask of him, especially since he'd allowed her so much already, but she absolutely needed his blood. She didn't want to go around asking Harry or Ron for their blood and be forced to explain what all of this was. This was truly a bit of a risky gamble. Blood was a potential liability in nearly any form. If Snape's blood got into the wrong hands— well, a lot of bad things could happen. Hermione knew that if he were to say yes to this, it would legitimize the fact that he did have a lot of trust in her.

Professor Snape sighed irritably, but stood from his desk once again, approaching her workstation. She almost beamed with happiness. "Do you have another needle?" he asked. Hermione nodded quickly, retrieving the other she'd produced the previous night from her bag and disinfecting it quickly. "You'll have to do this one, Miss Granger," he murmured, pulling up his sleeve and exposing his arm, "I'm afraid I can't draw my own blood either."

She nodded again, looking at his arm and identifying the vein. She stared at it for a long moment.

"What is it?" he snapped.

"I just- I think it would be easier with a more prominent vein. Can we use your other arm?"

He hesitated for a moment, and she knew exactly why. At last, though, he rolled down the sleeve of his left arm and rolled up the sleeve of his right arm. Hermione tried not to start at the Dark Mark, which took up most of his forearm, but it was hard not to notice. It was very black in contrast with his pale skin. She instinctively felt a bubble of revulsion at the sight of it, but moved on quickly, not wanting to show any hesitation or disgust. This was a fragile moment. She didn't want Snape to recoil away from her because she was obviously so put off by his Dark Mark.

With the same calculated movements that Professor Snape had implemented only moments ago, Hermione poised the needle at his vein — which was more prominent on this arm — and plunged it in. He didn't flinch or emit any indication of pain or discomfort, so Hermione continued on, her hand shaking ever so slightly as she drew a syringe full of blood. After she was finished and had withdrawn the needle, Snape jerked down his sleeve and retreated to his desk once again.

She placed the syringes side by side; examining the blood as she marked which one was Snape's and which was hers. It was a very odd thing to look at and compare. The syringes could have been filled with identical blood from the same person. They both were of the same deep red hue, thick and opaque in the syringe. For some reason, despite knowing that it was highly unlikely, Hermione had expected her blood to look a little different from his. She'd thought that maybe hers would be darker, or a slightly different shade, or maybe a different consistency. But no, there wasn't a single visible difference between the two.

She stole a glance up at Snape again. He was working diligently on something, probably grading the exams of all of his non-O.W.L. or N.E.W.T. students. She looked at his left arm, now covered by his sleeve, and remembered the Dark Mark that lay hidden just under a few layers of clothing.

"Sir?" She knew she was risking getting kicked out of his lab by disturbing him again, but she felt the most pressing need to ask him something.

"What?" he quipped, eyes still focused on whatever was in front of him. He sounded irritated, but not immensely so. Hermione decided to press on.

"Do you think it will be safe for us once we leave Hogwarts?" She rolled the words over in her mind, trying to figure out how to phrase this. "I mean— I know that Dumbledore says it will be safe and that there are wards and protective measures over all of our houses and everything, but…" she paused, drawing in a deep breath, "with all that's been going on and all that's happened even within Hogwarts, how can it be safe for us to go home?"

He still didn't look at her. Instead he remained staring down at the parchment in front of him, but she could tell that he wasn't reading it. At last, he broke the silence. "Precautions will be taken," he informed her, "and if alternate plans need to be made, they will be." His sharp tone told her that he didn't want to hear any more questions on this subject. Hermione nodded, even though he wasn't looking at her, and resigned herself to continue with her work. She only had today and tomorrow to get all the information she needed to gather from the blood and the cross referencing with the potions, and she needed to take advantage of that time.

Neither Professor Snape nor Hermione spoke for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> The coming chapters are where it really starts to get fun. Part one is nearly over, and part two contains what I know a lot of you have been waiting for (*cough* M rating *cough*).


	15. Graduation

**XV**

Graduation

* * *

><p>"MUM!"<p>

Hermione nearly tackled her mother in her hug, feeling a great well of emotion bubble up in her chest. A few nearby students and their families watched amusedly as Hermione Granger embraced her mother. All the Seventh Year students had just arrived out on the lawn next to the Black Lake. This was where the outdoor graduation ceremony was taking place.

"Oh, Hermione," her mother sighed, returning the hug, "it's so good to see you." The older woman pulled back, examining her daughter closely, looking her up and down. "You look gorgeous, love," she said, tears in her eyes.

Hermione glanced down at the black Graduation Robes and the beige dress she wore beneath them. Her pointed hat was poised precariously on top of her hair, just like all of the other graduating seventh years. The only difference between her robes and the others was the Head Girl badge pinned on her chest. Underneath her hat her hair was charmed into more manageable, elegant curls. The wrangling of her hair was courtesy of Ginny, a master at cosmetic spells. She looked back up at her mother, the same swell of emotion rising up again. She felt like she could cry. A large part of her desperately wanted to pull her mother away from all the people and explain everything that had happened over the past several months.

But she couldn't do that, not now. In a few moments the students and their families would be told to take their separate seats and the ceremony would begin. There would be time to reveal her secrets when she finally returned home.

"Where's Dad?" she asked, looking over her mother's shoulder, searching the crowd.

"He went to talk to the Weasleys," her mum replied, pulling Hermione deeper into the crowd. The mother and daughter soon found a familiar sea of redheads, and Mr. Granger's greying chestnut curls among them.

"Hermione," he smiled broadly upon seeing her, pulling her into a tight hug and kissing the top of her head. "You look stunning, darling."

She smiled up at her dad, and then over at her mum. "I missed both of you so much."

Just then Mrs. Weasley spotted her, pulling Hermione into a squeezing hug. Hermione worried that the woman would let something dangerous slip, something alluding to her recent discovery about Hermione's lycanthropy. Luckily, however, Mrs. Weasley knew that Mr. and Mrs. Granger were still in the dark. She simply gave Hermione an affectionate smile and pulled away. Next, Hermione found herself moving onto several other Weasleys, greeting Arthur, Bill, Percy, Fred, George, and Ginny. Beside Ginny stood Sirius, and then Ron and Harry, who wore the same Graduation Robes as her along with almost identical anxiously excited expressions. Hermione, who was now in a fully over-affectionate mood, couldn't resist pulling both of them into a great hug.

"Isn't this crazy?" she murmured, leaning back and looking at the setup nearby. There were dozens of rows of chairs, all facing a beautiful view of the sparkling Black Lake. Between the chairs and the lake was a raised platform with a chair for each professor, just like in the Great Hall. At the front of the platform was a single podium.

"I can't believe we're done," said Harry.

"It's sort of sad," Ron mumbled wistfully.

Just then Ginny approached, kissing Harry on the cheek and grinning at Hermione and Ron. The redhead looked beautiful, as always, wearing a light blue dress that her mother had given her. "I don't know what I'll do without you three next year," she mused, looking at the chairs and the view of the lake with a saddened smile.

"You know we'll visit every Hogsmeade weekend," Harry said, putting his arm around Ginny and kissing her cheek.

"And maybe Hermione will come visit me whenever she goes to see Lupin," Ginny winked cheekily at Hermione.

"Why would I be visiting Remus?" Hermione replied, narrowing her eyes.

"Oh, I don't know," Ginny sighed, "I'm sure there will be reasons to visit…"

Hermione gave Ginny a sharp glare, frowning at Sirius, standing behind her, when he started to laugh. Harry and Ron looked between the three with confusion. Luckily, though, Dumbledore's voice, amplified by his wand, chose that moment to interrupt. "Please take your seats, we will commence momentarily."

A wave of excitement ran through Hermione. She was going to graduate in only a few moments. It felt strangely surreal. She quickly made her way back over to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who were currently talking to her own parents. Giving her mum and dad a hug, she said goodbye for now and followed Harry and Ron to take their seats.

The chairs in the back of the setup were the ones for the students. The students were to sit in alphabetical and walk up to the platform to get their diploma when their name was called. Hermione found herself sitting just a row in front of Harry, with Ron another row behind them. As the crowd begun to sit down, she took a moment to examine who was present in the family section.

She spotted several Order members among the crowd, most likely pretending to be parents and trying to blend in with the crowd. That, combined with the fact that Dumbledore and all the other teachers were present, made Hermione feel marginally safer. Almost instinctively, she scanned the crowd of parents for a head of silver-blonde hair that belonged to Lucius Malfoy. She didn't find anyone who looked like Malfoy, though to be honest, she didn't expect he would come here today. It was Draco's graduation ceremony, but Hermione had a sneaking suspicion that if Lucius Malfoy had even attempted to make an appearance here, he wouldn't have been able to because there were Aurors, Order members, Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore, and scores of other people that hated Malfoy almost as much as Voldemort himself. Yes, it would indeed be unwise for Lucius Malfoy to show himself here.

Looking further into the crowd, Hermione spotted two people, one holding a camera and the other holding an enchanted quill and notepad, most likely from theProphet. She grimaced. Hermione had always hated the reporters from the Prophet. This mostly stemmed from her acquaintance with Rita Skeeter, but she suspected that Skeeter wasn't the only rotten one of the bunch.

The professors had somehow materialized as the crowd flocked to their seats. Hermione watched as they took their seats on the raised platform in the same order as they sat in the Great Hall every day. She noticed Remus first, sitting between Professor Snape and Hagrid, looking happy and healthy. Her heart beat just a little faster when she looked at him.

Beside Remus, Professor Snape wore the usual scowl as he panned the crowd. Hermione wondered if he would yell at her if she tried to hug him when she got her diploma. The students were supposed to go down the line and shake hands with all of the professors when it was their turn, but some students hugged teachers they were especially close to. Hermione thought it would be hilarious to see Snape's reaction if she tried to hug him, but she figured that it probably wouldn't be the wisest choice, especially if she wanted any hope of being able to ask for his help on her research after today.

Beside Snape was Professor McGonagall, looking proud and tearful as she gazed down at the crowd. Next to McGonagall was Dumbledore, standing up at the podium and waiting for everyone to take their seats. When the crowd finally quieted, Dumbledore raised his arms to begin the ceremony. "First of all I would like to welcome all of the family members who have come here today to celebrate this occasion with our graduating seventh years. I'm sure our students will agree with me when I say that an occasion like this is much better when shared with loved ones.

"These students have lived here at Hogwarts for seven years now, and while I know that difficult times may lie ahead, and moving on from Hogwarts may be a daunting task, I also know that myself and all the Professors behind me have the utmost faith in these young witches and wizards. So before we begin I would like to say that, on behalf of myself and all the Hogwarts staff members, we wish you all the best of luck. Now, without further ado, Professor Minerva McGonagall, our Deputy Headmistress, will begin the ceremony."

McGonagall stood from her seat, taking Dumbledore's place at the podium while the Headmaster moved away to the end of the line of Professors. With a loud _pop_, a scroll appeared floating above the podium, presumably containing the names of all the students.

"Hannah Abbott," McGonagall said. Hannah Abbott, at the front of the group, stood nervously and made her way to the platform. Hannah went along the row, shaking all the hands of the professors as she went. When she arrived at Dumbledore at the end of the line, a scroll of parchment with a golden tie appeared in his hand – her diploma – and he handed it to her. After she was finished, she stepped off the platform and made her way back to her seat.

Several other students were called and went through the procession in the same manner. For most of Muggle-borns a loud cheer could be heard from their family in the audience when their name was called. Hermione found this quite sweet, though she knew it would be embarrassing if her mum or dad yelled like that.

The ceremony continued, many students going up, hugging or shaking hands with their professors. Eventually Harry went, making his way up to the podium and grinning bashfully at the loud cheering coming from Sirius, Ginny, and the twins. He hugged McGonagall, shook the rest of the professor's hands, and then stepped down. As he descended, Hermione heard the distinct flash of cameras. A glance at the two reporters from the Prophet confirmed her suspicions. So it seemed that Harry Potter's graduation would make the papers tomorrow.

The ceremony continued, all the names being called and all the students taking their turns. Prefects were skipped over, along with Head Boy and Head Girl. That would be at the end. While Hermione didn't need any special recognition for being Head Girl – especially after feeling so guilty about all the partying and inebriation she'd allowed among the Gryffindors lately – she appreciated it deep down.

"Now, for the Prefects," McGonagall chimed, calling off all the Prefects one-by-one. When Ron stood, his Prefect badge pinned proudly on his robes, most of the Weasleys went wild. Hermione couldn't help but grin at Ron's happy expression as he got his diploma.

"Finally," McGonagall spoke again, "our Head Boy, Evan Barlow."

A loud cheer erupted from most of the Ravenclaws, and Evan stood, making his way to the podium with a shy smile. When he sat back down Hermione felt the attention shift to her.

"And our Head Girl," McGonagall smiled widely, "Hermione Granger."

Several cheers were heard from the Gryffindors, but the thing that made Hermione blush with embarrassment was the loud whooping coming from Ginny, Fred, and George. Nevertheless, she tamed her embarrassment and stood from her seat, walking up through the crowd of parents and approaching the platform. Behind her, she could hear the snapping of a camera, and she knew that one of the journalists from the Prophet was taking a photo of her. She tried to ignore it and started shaking hands with the professors. First was Flitwick, then Sinistra. Next was Hagrid, who looked almost teary eyed while he pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. Hermione had to take a deep breath after this, moving onto Remus.

Coming into today, she hadn't known what to expect from this interaction with Remus, but she'd guessed that a hug would not be the wisest choice for either of them. She'd also anticipated that this might be just a little awkward. Surprisingly, it wasn't awkward at all. Remus reached out and shook her hand, giving her an endearing half-smile. "Congratulations, Hermione," he whispered, just loud enough so that the pair of them could hear it with their amplified senses. Hermione smiled in return, not trusting her voice enough to whisper her thanks back.

Up next was Snape, who shook Hermione's hand in much the same way he'd done with all the other students. The only difference was the slight, tight-lipped nod he gave her. She felt a flutter of pride at the fact that he'd acknowledged her that much, even if it was barely noticeable.

The Head Girl continued down the line, earning a proud hug from McGonagall and her diploma from Dumbledore. When she turned around the distinct noise of cameras flashing and snapping photos was heard once more. She shifted from toe to toe, anxiously hoping that all her scars were hidden safely under her robes.

As she stepped off the platform and walked back through the crowd she made eye contact with her mum and dad, both were grinning from ear to ear. Her mum was crying. She sat down in her seat. At last, the ceremony ended. Dumbledore stood and told the crowd that there would be food and drinks back in the Great Hall so that students could introduce their parents to professors or classmates and say goodbye. The students were leaving on the Express tomorrow, so there would still be plenty of time to say goodbye to classmates, but this was indeed the last time they would all be together with their professors and without any younger students.

Hermione found her parents and ushered them over to the large group of Weasleys, earning many hugs and congratulations along with Harry and Ron. Together, the Grangers, the Weasleys, Harry, and Sirius made their way up to the castle and into the Great Hall. Hermione's parents were awed by nearly everything. Her father in particular couldn't get enough of the floating candles on the ceiling of the Great Hall. She was fairly certain that he stared at them for at least fifteen minutes before socializing with anyone.

"So," Hermione's mother began, looking at Hermione and then at the crowd around them, "are you going to introduce us to your teachers?"

Hermione sighed, looking over at Harry and Ginny, whom she'd just been speaking with. She'd wanted to spend a lot of time with Harry tonight because she knew that it was hard for him to be around so many classmates and their parents when he only really had Sirius — the Dursleys didn't come, of course — but she supposed she had to separate from him at some point. Both Harry and Ginny waved her off to go with her parents, so Hermione turned away and ushered her parents to the nearest Professor.

Hermione introduced or re-introduced her parents to Flitwick, McGonagall, Sinistra, Vector, and Hagrid before she decided that that was quite enough Professors.

"I think that's enough for now, right?" Hermione asked, pulling her parents away from Hagrid, who was very close to spilling some secrets about the things Hermione, Harry, and Ron had gotten up to over the years. Her parents would truly be horrified to learn some of the details of what had happened over the years. Hermione had always glossed over a few things to spare them the worry…

"What about that Defense Professor?" her mum asked, panning the crowd in pursuit of Remus. "You know, that one you were so excited to have back again this year? Oh and what about the Potions Professor? I want to see how mean this man truly is."

"Um," Hermione looked around the room, "perhaps just Professor Lupin for now. I don't know if you want to meet Snape just yet." Despite her higher standing in Snape's graces as of late, she worried about her parents ruining it for her, plus he appeared to be surrounded by a group of Slytherin parents at the moment.

"Lupin," Hermione's father hummed in consideration, "that's a funny name, isn't it?"

"Yes, very funny," Hermione mumbled, pulling her parents through the crowd, "but don't mention it to him." Her parents definitely did not know that Remus was a werewolf, and she didn't want to start _that_ conversation any time soon. Especially not at graduation.

Remus was standing in a small circle, Sirius by his side, then Harry, then Ron, then Ginny, and finally the twins.

Just as Hermione approached with her parents she spotted Fred elbow George to get his attention. Together, they both stepped towards Hermione, stopping her and bowing simultaneously.

"The esteemed Head Girl is in our presence, George," Fred said regally.

George turned to the rest of the people around them raising his arms. "Announcing Hermione Granger, Head Girl and also the witch who is rumored to be the only reason our younger brother may have passed his N.E.W.T.s." Sirius barked out a laugh. Harry and Ginny both grinned. Ron did not look very pleased at all with the comment. Remus, across the circle, looked at her with a wry smile, something else that looked like anxiety hidden beneath his expression.

"Enough of that," Hermione retorted pointedly. She quickly pulled her parents beside her, moving closer to Remus. "Mum, Dad, this is Professor Remus Lupin. Professor Lupin, these are my parents, Nancy and William Granger."

It was so odd calling him Professor to his face after so many months of just Remus.

Remus shook both of their hands; muttering a polite, "pleasure." She could see that he felt immensely uncomfortable, but he hid it well.

Hermione smiled tightly as she went around the circle with introductions, "you know Harry and Ron of course. Ginny, Fred, and George I think you saw earlier, and this is Sirius Black, Harry's Godfather." She hoped that her parents remembered everything that she'd told them about Sirius and that it was very important for them to know that he was not actually the mass murderer the news had made him out to be several years ago.

Sirius shook both Mr. and Mrs. Granger's hands with a broad smile. If her parents did have a mixed reaction to him, Sirius didn't seem to care at all. He was in a brilliantly cheerful mood, presumably because Harry was no longer going to be separated from him for such long periods of time and the fact that Dumbledore had allowed him to attend tonight as himself and not Padfoot (which was a risky decision in Hermione's opinion, but she didn't want to spoil the night for either of them by complaining).

Soon both of Hermione's parents decided that they wanted to speak to the Weasleys more and give Hermione the opportunity to spend some time with her friends. She watched Remus' expression as they left, noting his slight discomfort when they said goodbye to Sirius and himself. Despite feeling bad that he was uncomfortable, it couldn't bring her mood down. She found that she was elated with everything right now. She was happy to be around her friends and family, happy to have the accomplishment of N.E.W.T.s and graduation under her belt, and happy to look to life in the coming days, even if a few things were still up in the air and she did have her worries.

She moved to stand between Harry and Ron, slinging an arm around each of their shoulders and grinning at them. They chatted about how they thought the graduation ceremony was, and what all their plans were in the coming weeks. Harry and Ron weren't completely sure of what they were going to do, but she suspected that they would both want to go into Auror training right away if their N.E.W.T. scores turned out well.

As for Hermione, she truly didn't know where she wanted to go from here. For a short period of time recently she'd seriously considered going to a Muggle University simply to further her general education. That idea had been eliminated when she realized that she wanted an education in the magical world more than anything. If she wanted to learn Muggle subjects, it was easy enough to teach herself. Another idea that she'd considered was taking up an offer to intern at the Ministry of Magic starting immediately after school ended. She'd also seriously considered this, knowing that it was a very important pathway and the Ministry was highly selective in the students they picked up straight out of Hogwarts. In the end Hermione had decided against it, not wanting to go immediately into the heavily political environment that the Ministry had been lately and also desiring some time to think through her choices and hopefully see an end to this war.

The more she thought about it, the more she actually started to realize how much gravity the war and Voldemort had in her life. She couldn't realistically think of making any choices in the near future that would take her away from Harry or the Order. In fact, the only things she was absolutely certain of were the fact that she wanted to join the Order of the Phoenix and that she wanted to see this war through to the end, hopefully coming out alive.

The conversation followed this path. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all seemed to agree that they wanted to join the Order of the Phoenix as soon as possible. Remus and Sirius were both wary of this, but they had no real argument for the trio not to, especially when Harry mentioned that the Marauders and his mother had joined the Order straight out of Hogwarts. Harry couldn't live with himself if he didn't try to push forward and become more active in the effort of the Order. It was essentially set in stone for him.

Lavender Brown, pushing her way into the circle and grabbing Ron by the arm, interrupted the deep conversation. She pulled Ron away from Hermione's side with a suspicious expression, informing her boyfriend that he had to come meet her parents now, not leaving any room for protest. Hermione didn't miss Ron's grimace, nor did anyone else in the group.

As Hermione watched Ron and Lavender walk away, she spotted another familiar face among the crowd in the Great Hall. It was Evan and he was walking in her direction. Like Hermione, he still wore the badge pinned on the front of his robes indicating his Head Boy status. She figured that he had gained a similar attachment to it over the year. She didn't want to part with it until tonight was over, knowing that this was the last time she would actually be able to wear it.

"Professor Lupin?" Evan called, looking through the rest of the group awkwardly. Sirius had been speaking quietly to Remus, but he backed away to Harry, Hermione, and Ginny at the sight of the approaching student.

Remus spoke to Evan for a little while. Hermione tried not to eavesdrop on their conversation, but it was hard to avoid catching what they were discussing with her increased hearing and a strange attunement to Remus' voice that she seemed to have developed.

Evan thanked Remus for all the help he'd been over the year. Hermione never thought that they were very close, but Remus obviously liked and respected Evan very much, wishing him the best of luck at his internship at the Ministry. Hermione had known that Evan was offered the same internship as her, but she, essentially his roommate, had no idea he'd accepted it.

Evan thanked Remus once more before turning to the rest of the group and making eye contact with Hermione. She smiled, silently telling him to approach. "It's been a great year," he said.

Hermione gave him a friendly hug, endeared by his awkward sentimentality. Evan left soon after this, going back to his family and a group of Ravenclaws across the hall. Hermione fell back into conversation with the others.

It was much later when she finally noticed Draco Malfoy. She realized upon seeing him that she hadn't paid any attention to him at Graduation at all. He looked lonely; that was the only word Hermione could find to describe it. He stood alone, sipping a glass of what looked like pumpkin juice and gazing at crowd around him. A group of Slytherin students were nearby, but he didn't interact with any of them. He looked quite out of the ordinary compared to them; lacking the same prideful and broad demeanor they all wore. Hermione remembered that not only had she not seen his father at graduation, but she also hadn't spotted his mother. She didn't know much about his mother, but she couldn't imagine that Mrs. Malfoy was half as bad as her husband.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione strode towards Draco, muttering a quick "I'll be right back," to the others. Their eyes followed her as she approached Draco, but she didn't look back.

He picked his head up when she was only a few feet away, an expression of surprised suspicion crossing his face.

"Neither of your parents are here," she said, moving to stand next to him and watch the passing crowd just as he did. It was only now that she noticed how many parents and their children _were_ here, and how alone people like Draco, Neville, and Harry must have felt.

"The possibility of my father attending was out of the question," he said, his shoulders set stiffly, "as I'm sure you understand."

She nodded once. "And your mother?"

Draco seemed to sense the hidden questions behind Hermione's innocuous question. She was trying to gauge where his mother stood in all of this. "My mother left my father a short time ago. She too found out some details of what he has been up to lately." His meaningful glance in Hermione's direction told her exactly what those details were. "While she would be the person I would like to have at an event such as my graduation, Professor Snape strongly advised her against coming tonight."

Hermione gave a solemn nod of understanding, her eyes finding Ron and Lavender across the hall. Ron was talking to a man who appeared to be Lavender's father, looking intimidated and skittish. "What do you think you'll do now?" She asked, turning to Draco once again. When she looked his way she noted that Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass were standing just behind Draco, openly glaring at Hermione.

"I'm not sure," he admitted, his tone clipped. "My mother and I will need to go somewhere quiet for a while, but I don't know where.

She nodded thoughtfully. "I'm sure you'll figure something out."

"Of course," he sighed, pausing before speaking again. "Not that I don't appreciate your company in all my pitiful solitude, Granger, but it seems that your friends want you back."

She followed his line of vision to Harry, Ginny, Fred, George, Remus, and Sirius, who were all trying to hide the fact that they were watching Hermione like a hawk. She huffed out a laugh. "Typical. I'll head back there."

Just as she was leaving Draco, however, she turned back around, stopping in her tracks looking at him with a tight expression. "I know you'll probably hate me for saying this, but I'm really proud of what you've done and the choices you've made over these past couple months."

He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms and adopting his usual pureblood stature. "Hmm," he sighed, pursing his lips, "maybe just a little too patronizing for my taste, Granger."

She couldn't resist smiling as she raised her hands up in mock surrender, turning around and retreating. Just before she was out of earshot she heard something that made her grin even wider. "Thank you," said Draco.

Arriving back with her fellow Gryffindors on the opposite end of the Great Hall, Hermione failed to do away with her happy smile. Her mistake there was something that no one failed to notice.

"So how's it going with Draco?" Ginny asked in a faux-conversational tone, smirking with amusement.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I was just talking to him." Just as she finished saying this, her mother walked over to the group.

"Who was that handsome boy you were speaking with?" she asked with mirthful intrigue, looking back at Draco.

Hermione blushed crimson red. "Mum!" she gasped, scandalized, "he's not- it's not like that at all." As she said this she couldn't resist nervously glancing across the circle at Remus. He watched her closely, with an unnerving sort of intensity.

It wasn't long after this that the Great Hall started to die down a little. People began to leave, the noises of conversation and laughter abating, along with the general feeling of excitement. The Leaving Feast would start in a short while, and then it would no longer be just the Seventh Years celebrating together. As parents started to leave, Hermione found herself and her parents approached by Tonks.

"Wotcher, Hermione," Tonks grinned, giving the girl a hug before shaking the hands of her mum and dad. Tonks had met Mr. and Mrs. Granger before, presumably earlier this afternoon when she'd brought them to Hogwarts from their home. "Are we almost ready to go?" she asked, looking from Hermione to her parents.

Hermione nodded. Most of the Great Hall was empty now. She turned to her mum first, hugging her briefly. After this she turned to her dad, doing the same and receiving one of the same proud smiles she'd been seeing all afternoon. "I'll see you both at King's Cross tomorrow," she breathed, pulling back.

"Looking forward to it," her father grinned. He then turned to Tonks, asking her to lead the way out of the school. Hermione walked with them out to the entrance of the castle, saying goodbye once more and watching as Tonks lead them away into the darkness of the afternoon. She stood there for a short while afterwards, watching the land around her with a strange sense of nostalgia. She must have been there for much longer than she thought, because eventually Harry and Ron came outside, standing beside her, looking out at the Black Lake and down at Hagrid's hut and at the tall darkness of the Forbidden Forest.

"I'm going to miss it," she admitted.

"We'll come back, I'm sure," Harry said softly.

She nodded, taking a deep breath. The sun was beginning to set. The Leaving Feast would start very soon. As if attuned to Hermione's thoughts, Ron's stomach made a loud grumbling noise. For a moment she thought that only she'd heard it due to her enhanced hearing, but Harry picked up on it as well. He broke out into a fit of laughter, which Hermione joined in on.

"What?" Ron mumbled defensively, "I'm hungry."

"Of course you are, Ron," Harry breathed between laughs, "let's go inside."

* * *

><p>The Leaving Feast was as extravagant and emotional as always. Hermione had always wondered what it was like for Seventh Years, knowing that they wouldn't be coming back to school next fall, but now she understood. It was equal parts exciting, saddening, and frightening.<p>

After the feast Harry tried to convince Hermione to go back to the Common Room with the others, but she just wanted to be alone. She ended up taking a long route around the school to get to her dormitory, taking her time and strolling through the corridors at her own pace. At one point during this walk she neared the Defense Against the Dark Arts corridor, containing Remus' office and quarters. She thought about going to see him, but pushed the idea away quickly. She didn't want to keep pestering him. Plus, she was fairly certain that Sirius was still in the castle and probably with Remus in his rooms. No, she couldn't go there tonight.

She continued walking, surprised at the emptiness of the corridors. But then again, most students wanted to spend time with their housemates in their Common Rooms on a night like this.

Nearing the dungeons of the castle, Hermione was startled by the reverberating echo of a door slamming, followed shortly by brisk footsteps. She stopped, recognizing the noise as coming from down a staircase to her right. The staircase led to the Potions classroom. As she stood there Snape emerged from the shadows, climbing the stairs quickly. She could immediately tell that something was wrong. His expression was one of worry, an emotion so rarely conveyed by the closed off man. In addition to the unnerving look on his face, he was clutching his left forearm tightly.

"Professor?" Hermione began, standing still in the middle of the corridor, watching.

He almost looked started to see her there, but quickly mastered himself, righting the collar of his robes. It was now that she noted that his robes were not the usual attire. They were actually very different. She belatedly realized that they must have been Death Eater robes. He probably had his mask on him somewhere as well. "Oh," she breathed, the full realization hitting her.

He started walking again, passing her with the same brisk pace. "Is everything okay, sir?" she asked, turning and jogging to catch up with him, "do you want me to tell someone? I can get Professor Dumbledore-"

He didn't look at her. "The Headmaster is aware of my departure. You need not be involved in this, Miss Granger. In fact, I suggest you return to your dormitory before you find yourself somewhere else where you do not belong." His words were sharp and his tone curt.

She stopped in her tracks, watching Snape as he continued onwards, soon disappearing into the darkened corridor. She stood there for a moment, shivering for no apparent reason other than the memory of Snape's worried expression before he'd spotted her. Something was wrong.

She considered going to tell Harry and Ron about the encounter, but it was late and they didn't need to worry about this now, not while they were celebrating and enjoying their last night. She figured that if Dumbledore already knew then it would be dealt with. If there really was something wrong, Hermione, Harry, Ron, and anyone else would be informed soon.

Sighing deeply, Hermione continued back to her Dormitory, soon finding herself with only Crookshanks to keep her company. She drifted off to sleep, her mind full of worries about Snape and what would happen in the morning. Something, deep in the hazy subconscious of her mind, told her that she wouldn't be taking the Hogwarts Express home tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> So this chapter was really hard for me to finish. It was a big one – over 6,000 words! – and I changed about half of it last-minute, which took a _lot_ of editing. Plus, I procrastinated because life really caught up with me this week.

Anyway, there's now only one more chapter left of part one! I know I said to a few of you that something big was going to happen at Graduation, but what I really mean is that something happens right _after_ graduation– when Snape gets back. Does anyone have any guesses about why Snape was called away? Also, do you guys think we can get to 200 reviews with this chapter? It would make me the happiest girl in the world.


	16. Nomads

**XVI**

Nomads

* * *

><p>The following morning came with an ominous sort of quiet; sunlight rolling over the forest, the lake, and finally the castle. Hermione woke up before dawn, watching light fill the grounds through the window in her dormitory and thinking deeply about what would come next. They were to leave Hogwarts today. Taking the Express home was something Hermione both dreaded and desired. She dreaded it because it made her feel terribly vulnerable to be away from Hogwarts but still within what she considered to be the world of magic. She also felt a longing for one final train ride home because of the simple fact that it felt like an end. It was a good, proper end to her time at Hogwarts. One final train ride home, then it was over.<p>

Little did Hermione know that she would not be taking the Hogwarts Express home today. She wouldn't even be going home at all.

Sitting in her dormitory, Hermione found that her thoughts couldn't quite stray from remembering her encounter with Professor Snape last night. It wasn't long after dawn broke that she was shrugging on her clothes and rushing off to the Gryffindor Common room, intent on finding Harry, Ron, and Ginny to explain what she'd seen.

She did so, waiting until it seemed like somewhat of a reasonable time and first fetching a sleeping Ginny from her dorm, then finding both Harry and Ron in their own dorm. Together, Hermione, Ginny, Harry, and a very grumpy Ron proceeded out of the Gryffindor tower and towards the nearest empty classroom. Hermione explained everything she'd seen last night with Snape.

"I'm really worried," she muttered, pacing back and forth between the aisles of desks in the classroom. Harry, Ron, and Ginny all sat atop the desks, watching her pensively. "I just-" she paused, "I feel like something must be wrong. Snape looked frightened, and you all know as well as I do that Snape has never ever betrayed even an ounce of fear or weakness if he could help it."

"But he said that Dumbledore was aware, right?" Harry chimed in. "If Dumbledore knows about this then I'm sure he can handle it."

"D'you reckon Voldemort might be angry at Malfoy?" Ron asked, staring off at the ground pensively.

"Merlin," Ginny gasped. "What if he is? Maybe he's only just found out about how Malfoy failed to kill me, and months before he failed to kill Hermione. Maybe he's going to take matters into his own hands."

Harry had grown pale and still. Hermione decided that even if what they were speaking about was true, it wasn't the time to have a hypothetical conversation like this. "I think we should just go to breakfast and see what happens from there." As she said this she pulled her wand from her robes and cast a _Tempus_ charm. Breakfast began in ten minutes.

Harry didn't say anything, but nodded once, following Hermione, Ginny, and Ron as they led the way towards the Great Hall.

The Great Hall was abuzz with excited chatter and the clatter of food and drink. The group of Gryffindors slid into their usual spots at the Gryffindor table, all eyes drifting towards the Head Table every few moments. Dumbledore sat in his usual spot, not looking at all out of the ordinary. Down the table, Snape's seat was empty. Hermione could only assume that the Potions Master was still away from the castle. She supposed that it was possible that he had simply returned late last night and decided not to attend breakfast, but something within her was certain that he would at least make an appearance and appease any curious students, especially Hermione.

Her eyes fell on Remus next. He chatted idly with Hagrid, eating his breakfast and gazing out at the students that filled the tables with something akin to nostalgia. She wondered if he didn't plan to come back and teach next year. She wondered if he felt the same strange sense of discomfort that she experienced when even considering if there _would_ be a next year that any of them would be alive to see.

Hermione snuck many more glances at Remus as breakfast progressed. In fact, the only thing that actually tore her concentration from Remus was a flurry of movement and the entrance of Professor Snape.

The dour Potions Master entered the Great Hall in the same manner he did on every other morning. His expression betrayed nothing. The thing that did cause Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny to worry was the fact that he did not take his usual seat between McGonagall and Remus. Instead, Snape approached Dumbledore, leaned down ever so slightly, and whispered something. Dumbledore glanced up at Snape with an unwavering smile as he listened. Hermione was sure that neither she nor any of the others were being covert in their staring anymore. In fact, a second after Snape started speaking to Dumbledore, his eyes darted over to where Hermione was sitting at the Gryffindor table, turning away a millisecond later.

"Something's wrong," Harry murmured ominously. Snape pulled away from Dumbledore's side, and turned towards the back exit of the Great Hall by the Head Table. He exited the room. Dumbledore got up and followed behind a moment later. McGonagall, who sat beside Dumbledore, watched in utter confusion for a long moment before returning to normal and pretending to focus on her breakfast.

"Yeah," Ginny nodded in agreement, "something's definitely wrong."

Harry, Hermione, and Ginny barely ate for the rest of breakfast, unable to think about food while waiting and wondering in such suspense over what was going on. Ron, on the other hand, handled his stress by doing the exact opposite and eating more than enough food for the four of them.

Time passed at a languid, tedious pace. Soon, however, students finished their meals, eager to get back to their dormitories and do some last minute packing before the Express was scheduled to depart. "We should probably get going," Harry murmured, "I doubt Dumbledore or Snape are going to come back in here."

Hermione nodded in agreement, following Harry as he led the group from the Great Hall. She stole one last glance up at the head table upon her exit, seeing that Remus was now speaking in low tones to a worried-looking Professor McGonagall. Just before she lost sight of him his gaze turned in her direction, meeting her eyes for a split second.

"Ah, I wondered when I would find the four of you."

Hermione almost started at Professor Dumbledore's cheery voice. She whipped her head around to look at him. He stood just outside of the Great Hall in the corridor, alone. Nothing in his expression betrayed that anything was out of the ordinary, but Hermione liked to think that she knew better than to believe that.

"P-Professor," Harry sputtered, stopping in his tracks and causing Ron to walk right into his back with a grunt. "Is everything okay?"

Dumbledore smiled cheerfully, looking out through the open front doors of the school to the scenery outside, "why it's quite a wonderful day outside, isn't it? I like to think that this is a most joyous occasion for many students excited to go home and begin their summer holidays."

Nobody spoke. He was equivocating. Hermione almost went so far as to repeat Harry's question in irritation.

Dumbledore sighed, "Anyway, the reason I've come to find the four of you is because there is a matter that requires discussion. Would you mind accompanying me to my office?" He looked over the four of them, eyes still twinkling like every bloody thing was right in the world. Hermione idly wondered if perhaps he wasn't just pretending to be cheery for their sake, but because there were other people around them that shouldn't know something was amiss. She looked at the waning crowd of students exiting the Great Hall, spotting several Slytherin robes among other students who seemed general intrigued by Dumbledore's appearance outside the Hall and his conversation with the four Gryffindors.

"Of course, Professor," Harry said, nodding.

Dumbledore smiled once more before turning and leading the way to his office. Hermione fell into step behind Harry, with Ginny at her right and Ron at her left. Both Ginny and Ron gave her many suspicious and questioning looks as they walked she just shrugged at them, trying to convey that she still hadn't figured out for sure what this was about.

"Cocoa Clusters," Dumbledore intoned once they arrived outside of his office. Only a second later, the gargoyles began to shift and move, an ascending staircase revealed. Dumbledore pressed on.

Inside his office, Hermione was shocked to see that there was already a bit of an assembly present. Professor Snape was there, along with McGonagall, Remus, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Harry, Ron, and Ginny all seemed to be in relatively the same state of surprise as Hermione. "Mum? Dad?" Ginny muttered, allowing her mother to give her a hug while she looked around the room. Mrs. Weasley moved on to hug Ron, Harry, and Hermione as well, her expression one of a sort of twisted sadness. Hermione felt her chest tighten with anxiety. Had something happened? Was someone hurt? Did Malfoy strike again and actually find success? All these questions swarmed within her mind.

"Have the others been contacted, Minerva?" Dumbledore intoned, taking a seat behind his desk and looking at Professor McGonagall, who stood just to his right.

McGonagall nodded. "The rest should arrive any minute."

"Excellent," Dumbledore grinned, his eyes focusing back on Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny once more. "Lemondrop, anyone?"

Everyone shook his or her head in dissent. Hermione felt too sick to want to eat anything. Her stomach was tied in anxious knots. She wrung out her hands nervously, glancing around the room and trying to gauge the situation. McGonagall wore an expression of slight unease. Snape betrayed nothing at all. Remus looked anxious and confused. Hermione realized that he probably knew just as much as herself at this point. Mr. Weasley watched Dumbledore and Snape intently. Overall, everyone seemed to be in similar states of suspense as Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny.

In the following minutes, a few more people arrived in Dumbledore's office. First were Tonks and Mad-Eye, both wearing their Auror Robes and looking foreboding. Next were Fred and George, and then Bill. All received great hugs from their mother while panning the room nervously, probably worried that it had been Ron or Harry or someone else who'd been attacked this time. After them came Sirius, stumbling through the special Floo connection to his flat, looking groggy with sleep. Upon finally getting his bearings in Dumbledore's office he looked to the Headmaster himself and raised his hand to his forehead in a little mock-salute before stepping back beside Remus. The twins barely hid their amusement at Sirius' antics.

"I believe that is everyone who can make it right now," McGonagall intoned, her voice causing any idle chatter around the room to die down. She looked to Dumbledore expectantly.

"Excellent," said Dumbledore, clasping his hands together. "The reason I have called this meeting is because last night many important events occurred, events that I feel are pertinent to discuss so that everyone here knows why I have decided to make a certain decision."

Hermione felt as if a switch had been flipped in her head, turning on some sort of emission of unease. Before she had just been worried, but now she was suspicious. Dumbledore had made a _decision_. He wanted to discuss what had happened, but everything he'd just said led Hermione to believe that this decision was in no way open for discussion.

"Is everyone okay?" Mrs. Weasley cut in, gripping Mr. Weasley's arm in one hand and Bill's in the other.

"Yes, yes, Molly," Dumbledore assured her, "no one has been injured. There have simply been a few… advancements." As Professor Dumbledore finished his sentence his eyes drifted over to Professor Snape, who stood straight as a ramrod with an expression of bored disenchantment. "Severus, would you like to explain?"

Snape met Dumbledore's eyes, paused for a long beat of silence, and then opened his mouth. "I daresay you may be able to explain it just as well as I can, Headmaster. Please, go right ahead." There was a hint of frustration in his tone, but Hermione was perplexed as to why.

"Very well," Dumbledore nodded, leaning back in his chair and gazing at the small crowd. "Last night Severus was called into a meeting with the upper ranks of Voldemort's Death Eaters."

"Albus," Mrs. Weasley cut in quickly, stepping forward, "I'm sorry, but are you quite sure that the children should be present for this? I know that you haven't called an official Order meeting, but surely they do not need to be present for a conversation such as this one?"

"Molly-" Mr. Weasley began, only to be cut off by Dumbledore's raised hand.

"It is an understandable concern, Arthur." He shifted his gaze to Mrs. Weasley, "Molly, I did consider excluding them from this conversation, but what we are about to discuss is something that very much pertains to all of them, and will very much affect their lives in the coming weeks. Do not fret; I am not inducting them into the Order, I simply feel that this conversation requires their attendance, and I trust that you will soon feel this way as well."

Hermione watched Mrs. Weasley closely as she let out a deflating breath, her eyes ghosting over Ginny, Harry, Ron, and Hermione before returning to Dumbledore. She nodded.

"Very well," the Headmaster smiled brightly. "Now, at the meeting it was revealed that Voldemort is now aware of Lucius Malfoy's failed attempts at the lives of Miss Granger and Miss Weasley." He paused, and Hermione felt the whole room grow heavy with some sort of intangible weight. She shared a brief look of sadness with Ginny before returning her attention to Dumbledore.

"The Dark Lord also discovered through Severus, Lucius, and other surveillance methods that we have been utilizing many resources to increase security around Hogwarts and the children." Hermione disliked the way Dumbledore called them "children," but she tried to ignore it. Professor Dumbledore continued; all attention was honed in on him. "Voldemort was, understandably, quite enraged. He has decided that any means necessary must be used to first eliminate Harry's loved ones while they are not under the same protection as Harry, and then pursue Harry himself."

Stifling silence stretched and expanded between the occupants of the office. Hermione found herself almost unwillingly breaking the silence, but she did so anyway. "We're going into hiding," she murmured, "aren't we?"

Dumbledore nodded solemnly. Everyone in the room seemed to shift with discomfort and whisper something to their neighbor in disbelief. Hermione looked to Ron, Harry, and Ginny. All three of them were nearly slack-jawed. Harry, however, looked sadder than anything else. In response, Ginny reached for his hand and intertwined his fingers with hers.

"We can't possibly!" Bill spoke up, stepping forward, "there's too much here that depends on us. What about Tonks and Mad-Eye? We need people at the Ministry. What about all the other people who need our protection but can't simply hide away? We can't take everyone into hiding."

"Nor can we save everyone, Bill." It was Mr. Weasley who spoke, despondence weighing down his voice.

"There are many factors that have been taking into consideration," Dumbledore continued, standing from his desk and beginning to pace around the room. "While there are some members of the Order that will need to remain here and continue on with their lives, both for surveillance and precautionary purposes, I believe that the safest bet at this point is to bring those closest to Harry into hiding for the time being. At least until there is more stability, or until this war is over."

"That could take years," Mad-Eye said brusquely, "as the head liaison with the Auror Department for the Order I simply cannot allow it."

"That is exactly why you will not leave, Alastor," Dumbledore panned the room of people, "I do believe that it would be wise for everyone in this room except for Alastor, Minerva, and myself to go into hiding. Nymphadora," he addressed Tonks, her hair now a faded rusty red color where it had once been bubblegum pink, "I would understand if you wish to remain here and continue your work at the Ministry, but I also know that everyone here would feel safer if you accompanied them."

Tonks wore a closed off expression. She turned to Mad-Eye for a short moment and he nodded once at her. "I'll go," she said, looking back to Dumbledore.

"Very well," Dumbledore said.

"But where will we go?" Mrs. Weasley interjected shrilly, "back to Grimmauld?"

Hermione was sure that no one but Remus and herself heard Sirius' groan and accompanying whisper of "_not fucking again_."

Dumbledore shook his head and looked at Snape. The Potions Master had remained silent for a long time. He still said nothing, didn't show a flicker of emotion or response. Dumbledore turned back to the group. "Grimmauld Place, while having helped greatly in the past, is no longer the safest location, I'm afraid. The Death Eaters are aware of the Order Headquarters being located in London, and we have a reason to believe that it would be fairly easy for them to locate Grimmauld Place with only a little work. It is because of this that another location has been decided on." Another furtive glance was sent in Snape's direction. Hermione narrowed her eyes, watching Dumbledore and Snape closely. "Severus has graciously offered up a property owned by his family to be used as a safe house."

The room filled with tension like a gust of wind breathing through a newly open window. Hermione could almost hear the thoughts of outrage from Ron and Harry. They didn't trust Snape completely, especially with matters like this.

"How can we be sure that it is safe?" McGonagall was the one to finally speak up.

"It's safer than nearly any other location on this earth," Snape said flatly, "perhaps even as safe as Hogwarts itself. It belonged to my mother's family. I am the only living person with knowledge of its existence and whereabouts."

"I will be the Secret Keeper," Dumbledore spoke up, "and extensive wards will also be put into place. In addition, Severus is willing to stay at the house for the majority of his time to ensure that everything goes smoothly and to strengthen the blood wards."

"_Blood_ wards?" Harry murmured, a fearful look on his face.

"In the early seventeenth century Wizarding families started to use them," Hermione explained, "they're especially strong wards that function better if more people who share the blood of the creator of the wards are nearby."

"They're essentially archaic now," Remus added from across the room, "but still remain in some estates of a few of the ancient pureblood families."

"Yes," Dumbledore nodded briskly, "and Severus' presence on the property of the Prince Estate will indeed strengthen and rebuild these wards."

_Estate… he called it an estate._ Hermione had to admit; she was quite intrigued about where they were going. She'd never really thought much about what Snape's family was like, but she supposed that this whole debacle would provide her with at least a bit more insight.

"So who all will be going then?" Tonks spoke up, looking around the room and then back at Dumbledore.

"I should hope that mostly everyone here would feel comfortable with this plan and be willing to go. The only exceptions are myself and Minerva because we must remain at Hogwarts to keep the castle in order, and Alastor so that he can remain at the Ministry. Kingsley will also remain at the Ministry, of course, so that he can provide us with more of the information he's been passing along for the past several months. Does anyone else here have any objections to this?"

Bill Weasley stepped forward, "With all due respect, I don't think I want to leave, sir."

Mrs. Weasley looked at him with something akin to outrage. "And why is that?" she began crossing her arms over her chest and staring him down. Beside her, Mr. Weasley looked perplexed.

"I have Fleur now," Bill stated simply, "we just bought a house and we're trying to have a normal life away from all of this while we can. Mum, you must understand why I don't want to uproot my family. Besides, neither Charlie nor Percy have even been spoken of!"

"Charlie's in Romania," Ginny interjected harshly, "he's not in the same danger you'll be in."

"And Percy?" Bill continued looking around at his family members.

"I don't quite know if I could stand living with Percy again," Ron grumbled under his breath.

"Agreed," Fred and George echoed in unison.

"Don't speak that way about your brother!" Mrs. Weasley snapped at Ron, Fred, and George.

Hermione watched the exchange closely. Ginny was incensed that Bill didn't want to go with them. She loved Bill dearly, and Hermione understood why she was upset that Bill would not put himself and his wife into a safer situation with the rest of his family. Her gaze drifted around the room, from Sirius, to Remus, to Tonks, to Snape. Snape wore a sour expression, like he detested the whole of the Weasley family more than anything. Hermione wondered how much he was dreading having bring the Weasleys into his own house.

"Look," Bill said, deflating after the lashing out, "Shell Cottage is safe. No one knows where we live. We might as well be in Romania like Charlie." He turned to face Ginny, tenderly now, "I'll be safe, Gin. I can stop by for Order meetings whenever we have them. I just don't want to uproot my family."

There was a pause. Dumbledore was the one to break it. "I don't believe there will be a problem with that plan, Bill. You are not one whom I would expect to be a target anyway."

Bill nodded, stepping back between his father and Fred.

"Now that we've resolved that," Dumbledore clapped his hands together, panning the room, "are there any other matters to discuss?"

Hermione cleared her throat, feeling the shift of gazes onto her. "I actually have a few things I'd like to speak about, Professor."

Dumbledore nodded for her to continue.

"First," she breathed, squaring her shoulders and trying to sound as strong as she could, "is the matter of my parents. Am I to simply leave and not tell them where I'm going? How can they be safe at home if I'm not safe there?"

Dumbledore regarded her for a moment. "I believe that there are already several sets of protective wards around your parents' house, am I correct?"

She nodded.

"While those wards can provide plenty of protection to your parents, they are weakened by a magical person residing within the house. I'm sure you've learned about this, Miss Granger."

"Of course," she conceded.

"Well," Dumbledore sighed, "I do believe that as long as someone goes there and strengthens the wards sometime soon, your parents will be completely safe there. You, on the other hand, we cannot be sure of. There is also another option, of course. If your parents are willing, I'm sure there will be room enough at the Estate."

Hermione thought about this deeply for a long moment before shaking her head and echoing Bill. "I can't uproot their life… and I don't want them to have to face the full extent of this war be being put in a house with the Order. I think- I _feel_ like they will be safe at home without me."

"Very well," Dumbledore conceded, "perhaps after we are finished here someone can take you to your parents and work on the wards while you speak to them about what is going on?"

"Okay," Hermione murmured, nodding and trying to convince herself that this was indeed the best option.

"Is there anything else?" Dumbledore asked, watching her intently.

"Yes," she breathed, straightening her shoulders and standing up taller, "I have two requests that are key to my compliance in all of this." She knew that she probably shouldn't have made it sound like this was some sort of bargain, but she couldn't help it.

McGonagall stood beside Dumbledore, arching a brow at Hermione. Dumbledore seemed unfazed. "And what are these requests?"

She looked around the room, her gaze hesitating on Harry, Ron, and Ginny. "I want all of us to become official members of the Order of the Phoenix," she said, meeting Dumbledore's gaze brazenly, "and I want Draco and Narcissa Malfoy to accompany us to the safe house and live under it's protection."

"_What_?" Ron whispered, shocked and outraged, "_Malfoy_? You do realize that his father is the one we're trying to get away from, right?"

"Yes, Ronald," Hermione replied cooly, "his _father_. Draco and his mother have been struggling to try to get away from Lucius Malfoy, and I know that they would benefit from being under the protection of the Order. There would have to be some precautions taken, of course, because we obviously can't be certain of their trustworthiness yet, but I think that both of them could turn out to be highly beneficial allies to have in the end." She hoped it wasn't too obvious that she'd rehearsed those exact words dozens of times in her head.

Dumbledore watched her closely. She looked around the rest of the room. Snape was looking at her blankly, but she felt like there was just a hint of approval in the tilt of his head. Tonks and Mad-Eye just looked suspicious. Remus, Sirius, and most of the Weasleys looked very conflicted. Harry's expression was one that surprised her the most. He was actually smiling at her in something akin to pride. It was quite odd, really, that Harry looked proud of _her_.

"Severus and I can certainly look into this, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said, sitting at his desk and tapping his fingers on the wood of the desk. "If it turns out that Mr. Malfoy and his mother are truly to be trusted, I think that can be arranged. Now, as for your other request..."

She tried to stand taller yet again, and she felt as if Harry, Ron, and Ginny did the same, uniting behind her. They'd all wanted to become a part of the Order since spending that summer at Grimmauld Place years ago. It had always been a matter of age and necessity, but now it seemed like there was no real way they could be excluded anymore. "Harry, Ron, and I have graduated school now. All of us are of age, even Ginny. With the war picking up and such a drastic measure as this being taken, I don't see why we should not be inducted right away."

"That's outrageous!" Mrs. Weasley cut in, "you're barely adults! Ginny is far too young!"

"Molly," Mr. Weasley whispered lowly, "let's be civil about this."

"I think it's a great idea," Sirius cut in next, grinning brilliantly at Harry and the rest of them. Harry grew taller and prouder.

"They barely even know how to fight," Mrs. Weasley muttered, sounding almost horror-stricken, "we can't send them on missions or into danger while they're so young."

"It's not like there will be many missions to go on when we're all locked up in hiding, Mum." It was Ginny who spoke this time.

"Besides," Ron said, "Fred and George only had to wait a couple months after leaving Hogwarts before becoming a part of the Order." Fred and George both nodded in affirmation.

"But you're still so young," Mrs. Weasley whispered mournfully. She seemed to be nearly on the verge of crying now. Mr. Weasley put his arm around her. Hermione glanced to Dumbledore. He'd still barely spoken a word.

"To be fair, Molly," Remus interjected, "Sirius, James, Lily, Peter, and I were all inducted straight out of school. We managed alright back then, and I daresay our skills at eighteen barely compared to those of these four now." His words were meant for the group of them, but his eyes wavered on Hermione. Her chest grew momentarily tight and constricted as she held his gaze.

Mrs. Weasley tearfully gazed at Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. "But surely-" her voice broke off, "surely Ginny is still to young."

Ginny spoke next, her voice softer, "Only by a few months. I deserve to be a part of the Order now, just like them."

"Perhaps it would be for the best," Mr. Weasley muttered to his wife.

"I do think that it can be arranged," Dumbledore said, focused on Hermione alone, "the four of you may join the Order, but you must remember that it requires a large amount of responsibility and discretion. While I'm confident that each of you can handle it, I must know that you all understand."

Mrs. Weasley made a small noise of grief. Hermione wanted to tell the woman that it wasn't like she was actually sending her children off to fight in a war or giving them a death sentence.

"We understand," Harry said sturdily. Hermione, Ron, and Ginny nodded in agreement.

"Very well," Dumbledore nodded, "we will deal with the technicalities of admission to the Order at our next official meeting, sometime next week."

Hermione wanted to ask why they couldn't just get it over with right now, but she didn't. She needed to be a member of the Order, and if she had to wait a few days, that was okay.

"Now," Dumbledore sighed, looking around the room, "is there anything else we need to discuss here?"

No one spoke.

Dumbledore nodded. "We will reconvene here at four o'clock this afternoon, after the Hogwarts Express has departed." He looked to Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny once again, "I'll need the four of you to keep quite and try to remain unnoticed while everyone is leaving. We don't want to arouse suspicion by having other students find out that none of you are taking the Express home."

"What about my parents?" Hermione said softly.

Dumbledore looked around the room. "I believe Severus would be the best person to strengthen the wards. Nymphadora, would you mind accompanying them?"

Tonks nodded, smiling at Hermione. "I'd be happy to."

She was relieved that Tonks and Snape would be the ones to accompany her. She trusted both of them very much.

With everything sorted out, Dumbledore told everyone to continue on with their days and prepare for the departure later that afternoon. It was rather sudden, but apparently Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had been anticipating something like this for a long time and were already prepared. Sirius could easily get his belongings out of his flat in only an hour or two, as well as everyone living at Hogwarts, who were already packed.

The only thing left for Hermione to do was go to her parents and try to explain what was going on. It would be a difficult conversation, and Hermione knew that she had to be very strategic about it so as to not scare them too much while also ensuring the necessity of all of this. On the bright side, though, at least it would be safer for her mum and dad. That was all she really wanted in the end.

Her eyes met Remus' as she followed Snape and Tonks out of Dumbledore's office. Her only thought upon meeting his gaze was the fact that they would be living in the same house now; a house that was as far away from Hogwarts and their student-teacher relationship as they could get. Her gut twisted with a strange mix of emotions.

Things were changing.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I just finished writing chapter 26 and I've realized that this is going to be a lot longer than I initially thought. I imagined we'd hit 30 chapters at most, but now that I'm looking at my outline, I'm realizing that I have about 10 chapters left, give or take a few. So I'm gonna make a rough guess and say this will end up at about 37 chapters. That's a lot, right? It certainly feels like a lot. I can't wait for you guys to read all of it. I can't wait to _write_ it.

Part one is officially over as of this chapter. Part two is up next. We hit 200 reviews on the last chapter, and I can't even tell you guys how happy it made me. Thank you all so much! I tried to show my thanks by giving you this chapter ASAP. Hopefully you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think!


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